My sympathy goes out to all the women who...

[dolfette]

i secretly hope that there's a corner of hell reserved for guys who make x rated comments at women in front of her children.

 

[LaFemme]

Perhaps I need to explain my previous post. When I was younger and heard the catcalls & comments - I learned to tune them out. I was not flattered, although occasionally I was insulted. There were times when that kind of attention was damned inconvienent and unwanted.

I am older now. I do not receive catcalls. Waiters do not flirt with me. Men no longer send me drinks. I have reached the invisible portion of my late 40s. I am well dressed, attractive and successful, but I am invisible to the man on the street.

I don't want to be groped on the street, or have some guy making rude gestures by flicking his tongue through his fingers. But a whistle or appreciative glance? Yeah - sometimes I miss that. I don't think that means I have turn in my feminist membership card.

 

[Kotchanski]

Perhaps I need to explain my previous post. When I was younger and heard the catcalls & comments - I learned to tune them out. I was not flattered, although occasionally I was insulted. There were times when that kind of attention was damned inconvienent and unwanted.

I am older now. I do not receive catcalls. Waiters do not flirt with me. Men no longer send me drinks. I have reached the invisible portion of my late 40s. I am well dressed, attractive and successful, but I am invisible to the man on the street.

I don't want to be groped on the street, or have some guy making rude gestures by flicking his tongue through his fingers. But a whistle or appreciative glance? Yeah - sometimes I miss that. I don't think that means I have turn in my feminist membership card.

Now there's an answer I think we can all get behind!

 

[redz_rule]

i secretly hope that there's a corner of hell reserved for guys who make x rated comments at women in front of her children.

This. I hated that this would happen when I was out with my son. Hated it.

 

[Countryguy63]

Qwerty, I know this isn't the intention of your thread, but if they knew how cool and accepting of others that you are, they'd think twice before making "crude" and harrassing type of comments towards you.

Big difference between playful flirting and compliments, and shouting crude cat calls. This goes for both women and men alike.

 

[D_Fizzy Cola Bottles]

But surely if you were that sensitive to crude/sexual comments from strangers you wouldn't put naked photos on a website where you will receive crude/sexual comments from men & women. But that's just my opinion...



And you are a bit special if you can't see the hypocrisy/double standards of someone disliking crude/sexual comments made towards themselves by strangers, then they put up naked photos of themselves to get crude/sexual comments off strangers...

It of course depends on how far some of these guys go with him & what exactly they say, but I'm sure some comments wouldn't be too dissimilar to the comments he receives on his photos...

I think what this person is getting at is:

if a person voices frustration at getting catcalls on the street, then that behavior SUGGESTS he or she has a personal ethic which does not tolerate sexual come-ons of a casual nature. In general. So it might APPEAR out of character for him or her to post naked pictures on the internet.

I see the point.

At the very least, posting sex pictures suggests that you are not a prude or uncomfortable with sex, so you wouldn't be SO affected by sex come ons on the street, even if you did not like them.

 

[SurferGirlCA]

As others have said, it depends on what's being said and the spirit in which it is being offered. If a guy chats me up in line at the market and mentions he likes my eyes, I'd thank him for the compliment. If a guy yells at me from across the street to shake my ass, ummmm no, I'm not flattered.

The posting pics analogy doesn't work for me, either.

 

[Bunny]

Erm, I don't get any attention actual (should I pull a sad face?)

I think I am so shy that I never look up properly at people or just try and stare through them.. :redface:

 

[poultrygal]

Erm, I don't get any attention actual (should I pull a sad face?)

I think I am so shy that I never look up properly at people or just try and stare through them.. :redface:

I really doubt that. I have become more aware of the people around me (thanks to Mr. P) I am very outgoing, but I never noticed people noticing me. I just wasn't watching for it. I would say that you are being noticed.

No sad faces allowed :biggrin1:

 

[D_Sam Rockswell]

get harassed by often in the middle of the street (or wherever) by men. Often times, when I go out, I get crude comments thrown my way by homosexuals. It's not necessarily offending, but it makes me feel uncomfortable (not because I am homophobic, it's just extremely awkward). So yes, my sympathies go to those of you who deal with that petty shit on a day-to-day basis.

wow..another strange thread. Its amazing just how screwed these things can get. Just my two cents here but there is a large difference between online and in real life. There's no delete, ignore or report button in real life.

Also, not everyone is gonna like (place whatever you want here). Some people might like (place whatever you want here) but not all will like/appreciate/validate/respond/request or whatever (place whatever you want here).

 

[ManlyBanisters]

I think what this person is getting at is:

if a person voices frustration at getting catcalls on the street, then that behavior SUGGESTS he or she has a personal ethic which does not tolerate sexual come-ons of a casual nature. In general. So it might APPEAR out of character for him or her to post naked pictures on the internet.

It does not suggest anything of the sort.

LPSG = safe, anonymous environment - the user posting photos is not present when the comments are made, there is no person to person contact and the user gets 100% control over what is displayed.

There is 0% similarity to walking down the street where a person has far less control.

At the very least, posting sex pictures suggests that you are not a prude or uncomfortable with sex, so you wouldn't be SO affected by sex come ons on the street, even if you did not like them.

Again, zero correlation between being comfortable with your sexuality and being OK with people being crude. Where are you even getting that from? I'm extremely sexually confident and self-assured, yet getting cat-called in the street makes me want to kick testicle. But you think that's makes me a prude? Please explain - how does wanting to be treated with some human dignity make me a prude?

 

[dolfette]

if you like looking at porn then you'll love being flashed.
if you like watching horror films then you'll love being stabbed.

on screen is NOT the same as in the flesh.

 

[qwerty1234567]

lol, never did I think that this would escalate to a full on debate, but I digress.

I'm only going to address the person who see's me as a hypocrite. First off, this site is pure fantasy for 99% of the people on here. Second off, I was (and still am sometimes) extremely withdrawn, shy, and insecure. I posted the pics to see what other's thought so I could gage where I stans amongst others(who said I like the homosexual comments? That's your assumption). If you can't see the difference between that, and someone persistently harassing me when I politely ask to stop, then I don't know what to tell you.

 

[Intrigue]

if you like looking at porn then you'll love being flashed.
if you like watching horror films then you'll love being stabbed.

on screen is NOT the same as in the flesh.

I used to think this was an assumed reality. As if it should be understood by all... but I have found, much like common sense, it is not so common. the first line of the statement illustrates that I think.

 

[D_Humper E Bogart]

LPSG, where good ideas go to die?

Anyhow, on a global viewpoint, as shocking as it seems, gay men are MEN, not some masculinised (?) women, not some mysterious third gender or sub species, ergo, they are allowed to use the same nasty, cruel, greedy and selfish tactics that straight men would use on women.

It's a continous irony that many threads on LPSG do treat other men as badly as straights would treat women! Straights don't have the market sewn up for jerkassness just yet.

Also, to avoid the lame "It was just a compliment" statement, there is a time and a place for EVERYTHING, 8:30am on a Monday may not be it.

 

[ManlyBanisters]

LPSG, where good ideas go to die?

Anyhow, on a global viewpoint, as shocking as it seems, gay men are MEN, not some masculinised (?) women, not some mysterious third gender or sub species, ergo, they are allowed to use the same nasty, cruel, greedy and selfish tactics that straight men would use on women.

No they are not, and neither are straight men or bisexual men. Perhaps they do, but 'allowed'? Really?

 

[D_Humper E Bogart]

No they are not, and neither are straight men or bisexual men. Perhaps they do, but 'allowed'? Really?

"Allowed" in the sense that it shouldn't be a shock that a man, regardless of sexuality can act a jerk.

 

[qwerty1234567]

No they are not, and neither are straight men or bisexual men. Perhaps they do, but 'allowed'? Really?

You're taking the word out of context. The word 'can' wouldn't lead to this misunderstanding, though.

 

[Chase1600]

It’s normal to resent being treated as an object. Whether most of us are relaxed with it most of the time, whether most of us are relaxed with it situationally, we are right to set limits. Qwerty, you’re a cute guy; it’s unsurprising gay guys are attracted. It doesn’t make you gay to accept online comments from gay guys here at LPSG and it doesn’t make you homophobic to be angry at being groped on the subway. I am gay; I’ve been groped on the street and I hated it. Since I’m gay, I probably can be more comfortable than you in certain sexualized gay bars [Folsom St, San Francisco type bars]. I have, in that situation, willing placed myself where things might occur.

I never did anything like grope a sexy dude on the subway; can’t say the thought might never have crossed my mind. We can know how to keep our bad ideas to ourselves. I’ve mistaken people’s intention – wishful thinking probably - and said embarrassing things; that’s awkward. I’ve been presumed, mistakenly, to have insinuated something when it wasn’t really my intention and it’s embarrassing realizing they know I’m gay and calling me on what I didn’t really intend.

All that said, it’s been occasional over many years.

More frequently, I’m sure, I let my eyes linger unnecessarily and disgracefully, I hope it isn’t resented. I suppose, I check out a stranger’s stuff in places exactly like a subway when I figure we’ll never see one another again. I’ve been caught. I hope those good looking straight guys don’t take it too badly. I don’t mean to demean, they’re just so hot.

 

[qwerty1234567]

You shouldn't be embarrassed that they know you're gay. It's a simple misunderstanding.