My theory on why most guys have such a skewed perception of size...

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by LemacST, Dec 17, 2007.

  1. LemacST

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    I think what happens is two things. First off, porn is the main offender, but this isn't news, considering the average penis in porn is significantly larger than the real-life average. This is what I really think is the catalyzer, though: I, as a straight guy, have been conditioned my whole life to look away as quick as possible if I were exposed a penis. This is something every guy can relate to (if they're young and from my generation, at least): If a friend ran through the lockerroom naked, you look the other way and yell "ugh!". If you're on a computer with your friends and a penis is flashed for whatever reason, you all look the other way and yell "ugh!". Basically, you're taught from day one not to ever look at a penis. Because of this, the only time guys will (admittedly) see a penis is when he's seeing one plow a girl in his favorite porn. These penises are the only ones that register in his mind, so he uses that as a reference, even if his penis is much smaller than what he would consider "normal" due to this.

    I remember being that way. I saw the leaked Fred Durst video and thought he had a below-average penis. I remember guessing "he must be 4 or 5 inches". I recently saw it again (after being educated on what REAL average size is) and I realize he is actually pretty average, maybe a bit on the smaller end at worst.

    I also remember not really knowing where I stood on the whole size thing. I remember sending pictures of my dick to girls online and them thinking it was big. I remember some saying if was small. I was torn between the two, although I never realized it because I never gave it prolonged thought. Sometimes I was genuinely under the impression that I was big and other times the total opposite.

    The penis and its attributes are something totally barred out from society due to the stigmas related to it. It's too awkward to discuss and compare. No one feels like talking about it so instead they invented a rule that if you didn't look away and "Ugh!" at a penis (unless you were privately jerking off to porn, of course), it means you're a "fag".
     
  2. unabear09

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    hey lema..... i couldnt agree with you more... very insightful post... i think what is wrong with many of us males, is that natural curosity about members of our own sex is as you said considered homosexual. however, i think having this attitude and teaching our kids that is wrong. it can lead to many insecurities about our size shape etc. of our bodies, specifically our cocks and balls. i am so greatful for this site though. i always thought that i was small down there until this site both showed me and taught me that i am above average. it gives us the opportunity to see what other men look like down below, while providing us a sense of anonymous-ness without negative judgement by our peers. while i realize that this site is dedicated to the more well endowed man, there are still plenty of 'regular joes' on the sight to give us all perspective on what is average, small, and large to larger than life :biggrin1:. una
     
  3. RandyL

    RandyL New Member

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    I want my cock to be bigger so when I stretch some girl out and make her scream, she tells all her friends about how good I was and how she didn't think she could take all of my huge whang.

    That's pretty much it for me.
     
  4. Bbucko

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    The more posts like this I read, the sadder I feel for straight American men and the women who have to put up with them. It sounds as if an entire generation has disavowed the masculine camaraderie of the locker room out of fear of being perceived as gay.

    It's actually flipped somehow. Casual nudity was a swaggering, macho thing, something that football players and fratboys did. It was certainly something that my father and his generation seemed to understand. Separate showers (with curtains!!) belonged in the women's locker room.

    Real men weren't shy about feeling comfortable in their own skin, and it was drilled into me from a very early age. I boldfaced the phrase "they invented a rule" from the quote above in part out of wonder who "they" might be. I know that for me the obvious masculinity of casual nudity came from my dad and various gym teachers/coaches. It seemed ubiquitous and all-pervasive.
     
  5. Wave

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    I'm totally with Bbucko. nudity in showers and lockerrooms used to be an accepted and seeminly-comfortable thing. now in see all sorts of guys (mainly younger guys in their teens or even 20s) who actually go into the toilet stall to change their clothes within a lockerroom! i think the promulgation of pornography without the obstacle of a public encounter to purchase it (thanks to the Internet) has enebaled guys to see many more penises than in the past, and since most of those are large due to the porn industry's standards, most guys start to feel inadequate on their size due to what they think to be average. also, the awareness of homosexuality is much more prevalent now than in the past, so many guys just feel more uncomfortable in lockerrooms cuz they know they might be getting checked-out by a gasy guy watching them. which might make them kinder and more honorable to women since they understand that vulnerability factor better than in the past. maybe....
     
  6. bigbull29

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    When a man is shown a picture of another man's penis in the presence of other men, he is supposed to act fearful, if not repulsed, by it, even though he is sporting the same thing between his legs. That's the organ that unites as men. We aren't supposed to run off into the woods for dear life when one crosses our eyes, unless it's horribly homely. Straight man should either be impressed, jealous, indifferent or sympathetic when another man's peter is put before him. If he's scared and repulsed, what gives? Could dick pics conjure up some "thcary homothexual" thoughts in his purely heteroSexual mind.
     
  7. D_Gunther Snotpole

    D_Gunther Snotpole Account Disabled

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    I think this is a big part of it.
    The Europeans have always been more accepting of homosexuality; they've realized that a fair proportion of men are gay, but it has never inhibited them from showing their bodies.
    I hope we reach that point here in North America, and soon.

    The size thing can't be dismissed, either.
    I mean, I've read disappointed references to John Holmes' relatively unimpressive phallus on this site.
    Twenty years ago, you would have been laughed at for saying such a thing, yet Holmes'-size phalluses are surely now no more common, proportionately, than before ... only the images are.
     
  8. earllogjam

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    Locker room modesty is a sign of male culture disintigrating before our very eyes. Are men becoming more like women - ashamed of their bodies and slowly beginning to be manipulated by the beauty product sellers of insecurity? Machoism is dead and has been be replaced by Feminism and the vapid reductionist ideal of the equality of the sexes. Male modesty is just a manifestation of this.

    Estee Lauder Men here we come.
     
  9. cyberczar

    cyberczar New Member

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    Notice how the only segment of the population that seems so hung up about theirs or other penises is the proverbial straight man?

    And why is it we don't hear about breast envy (although I know for a fact it exists) or clit-envy?

    Women -- straight or lesbian -- don't seem to be as hung up on their genitalia as men are.

    Only when the straight man gets rid of his homophobia and becomes more comfortable with his own sexuality will you begin to see a change in attitudes and perceptions.
     
  10. bigbull29

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    Big bulls that come with big bull sundaes are no more common today than in Holmes' day...just a lot more lying and a poor eye for size have been added into the contemporary what's-a-big-dick mix:biggrin1:.

    John Holmes had a big dick. I've got a good eye for size and can tell you that he was indeed way above average. However, technology, as you were alluding to above, has created the illusion that he would be one-upped today at every minute. But, his size is no more common today than in his day. That said, it's no suprise that a few LPSGers could have given him a run for his money. :wink:

    I long for the days that my dad and his brothers describe: when truckers pissed without urinal dividers and blue-collar men bragged up the "big boys" at the local truckstop. All things related to the dick seemed to be discussed with so much more ease in those days. Damn! I need a time machine....now.
     
  11. Principessa

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    What the hell are you talking about? :wtf: Women do not cower and hide their breasts, vaginas, or butts in locker rooms. If some men have lost their machismo it's not because of women and how we behave in locker rooms. If men don't like how they are portrayed in the media then they need to do something about it. Since men run most of the companys which produce the images you are referring, to perhaps the issue is within yourselves.

     
  12. rob_just_rob

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    Interesting and credible hypothesis (not theory).
     
  13. texas69x

    texas69x New Member

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    when i was in school here in texas, nobody took off their underwear in gym. i can only remember one dude who did, and he had a big dick. for a long time i didn't know what size mine was supposed to be. it was several years after i became sexually active with men thta i even realized mine was larger than average.
     
  14. LemacST

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    I knew someone would call me out on this eventually :rolleyes::wink:
     
  15. Primal_Savage

    Primal_Savage New Member

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    Guess maybe, I'm a bit older than you (am 38). Like Wave, I agree with Bbucko. In Jr. and Sr. High, there were less than 50 other guys in my class. We all changed, showered, etc. together. There were always a lot of crude joking, butt slapping, size comments, etc., but hell, most of our chat was about pussys, tits, who was putting out, etc., and not guys doing other guys. Perhaps that's why I was a virgin in terms of sex with other guys till my freshmen year in college.
     
  16. Qua

    Qua
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    I saw a reply to another thread on how to measure that seems relevent.

    Two things came up that seem legitimate things to raise here. Most guys don't know the standard measuring procedure (though for some reason I was measuring my penis correctly with no education when I was 14...) and they lie, making the supposed average bigger in each case. I don't know about everyone here, but I'm not comfortable guessing penis size from a 2D photograph with nothing but the man's legs, body or hands for comparison. All of them vary. Sure, the proportionality is usually different with larger cocks, but there are no certainties. Thus guys who are generally ignorant for reasons stated above might get fooled and accept mismeasured or fudged measurements for the same reason I don't judge based on photos. And it's so common it will reinforce misinformation and skew the perception of the true distribution of penis size.

    Also, I forgot that larger guys are more likely to post nude pics online.
     
  17. B_blackkid

    B_blackkid New Member

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    I don't know; I never felt comfortable with others viewing me to begin with so my being nervous doesn't stem from the fear of being percieved as homosexual. However since I tend to be unsure about my own sexual behaviors I do have a fear of actually being homosexual, but that's kind of because I really do like the appearance and study of penes to an extent which makes me "wonder" sometimes.

    That aside Penile Image in American is skewed because "Only men with Big Penes are real men and can satisfy women!" It's only partially true; first off sufficient size is good for satisfying women, and that changes from person to person, second it's a [ No True Scotsman ] Fallacy. Men are men with or without 12" of hot, sexy, perfect meat. You're still a man with your dinky, pathetic, useless, unpleasuring, waste of space dick.

    If you noticed my wording it wasn't accidental; it's [ Downplay ] or [ Proportion ] Fallacy; your dick size does NOT make you more or less of a man, but when there's money to be made on your insecurities nothing works better than a little psychology.

    I don't think the fear of homosexuality has much to do with it; it's the comparison factor coupled with the idea that people are genuinely checking you out not as a sexual partner but as a ruler. I mean while I know, consciously, that I am not as "small" as I portray myself to be I also know that it's damn near impossible to really stand up on this particular site and be "proud" if I use any of you as rulers against myself. I'll lose most of the time.

    Imagine that in a real world setting where Bobby could literally laugh at you because you're not as big, or imagine being the smallest, or a grower with a small flaccid penis; self-consciousness is being played on big time in media, and there's nothing better to do besides freak out and buy pills and systems and gadgets and gizmos to make someone with an average dick become filthy rich.

    Then there's the pleasure factor. What guy today honestly goes "You know, when I slide it in, if it doesn't stretch that pussy I don't care!"? Very few. Most who care for their partners will buy into ANYTHING that works, especially stuff that doesn't require extra equipment, and with women being more and more open men are trying to fit that stereotypical sex figure more and more. It's not senseless; both by instinct and by mentality we all want to be "The Best" hands down; it's not because we're competative but who really wants to be in bed and hear "Well, there was James, then Charley, and you're tied with Bob."

    Er, again, not many. So the "I've gotta get bigger so I can stretch that pussy!" craze won't go away for a while, and sales in the sex industry are doing well off of both women, and now the newest counterpart, men.

    Then again I'm young so my words have little meaning.
     
  18. D_Duane Pipe

    D_Duane Pipe New Member

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    For me it's about the "size matters" message. Early on, the message is that size matters, but then ya hear that it's not all that, b/c if you have good technique, that that is the big thing. But those comments were usually made tongue in cheek and in an effort to save my feelings. So, I think it has to do with mixed messages, but mostly that size does matter.
     
  19. Qua

    Qua
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    MORE social conditioning at work :eek:

    I'm only 20 and frankly nothing pisses me off more than adults who assume they obviously know more than me and tend to dismiss what I say.

    As my dad (an engineer) says "My two bigget disappointments in life are that metal isn't solid and grown-ups aren't adults."

    Sorry to say it, but a lot of people on this site reinforce the 2nd, and reveal that given a shroud of anonymity people revert to their pettier sides. Sure there are some things only experience can give, but apparently retaining maturity when your reputation isn't at stake in any way isn't on that list.

    EDIT: NOT intending to threadjack, as this is a legitimately interesting and reasonable thread
     
  20. B_andyo

    B_andyo New Member

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    it depends how you feel... I go to the private toilet most of the time even when there is no one around... I am scared to pee besides other poeple ? not a bit, I think is just some people dont feel its right to do it in front of another guy, or be scared to look to the other guys , which I have never done.. but you feel weird at that moment.. if everyone in the restroom was like, ok lets see what we got... I woulnt think much and show.. w/e thats just the way some people are either they have litthe dick or big ones... I would still do it if I hadd the biggets dick in the world. ;0
     
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