OK.... here it goes.... You see a few years ago I suspected my wife was up to something. Started to go out with new friends and when I would work second shift she was on the computer and she NEVER used to be on there. I put on a key logger program that would capture her key strokes. That very night I called home and the line was busy so I knew she was online. I came home and checked the program while she slept on the couch. Now the whole time I am telling myself that this is crazy and I felt bad spying on her but I needed to know. I saw what looked as a screen name and password and then the phrase " Hello are you on" She logged on a couple of time asking the same question. My heart started to beat. Then HE must of came on because the conversation started. I only could see her side but I read where she showed him her chest on camera and she said she couldn't wait to see that BIG thing of his again and could not wait to feel that BIG c*ck inside her. My heart was beating so fast it was all I could hear. I thought it was going to explode out of my chest!!! Long story short she was with him twice in his car after his work and she preformed oral on him twice and he did very little to her. In fact I read that night that she was to meet him that day for the first time for intercourse!! However he blew her off that day. I read about how disappointed she was and about the outfit she brought that day to make it easy for him to get to her....in the car!!! I found the outfit in the van. HERE IS MY REAL ISSUE.... The next day I read her emails and there was A LOT of sex talk and size was a main topic. Big, real man, hope I can take it, can't wait to feel it, etc. ect. ect. After going through our ups and downs we moved on but I did make her tell me about all the "big" talk. She finally said that yes he was much, much larger than you are you happy. She was blunt about it. She was excited about his size and that she was looking forward to feeling him. I was stunned but she reassured me that she never wanted to leave me and she was not sure why she started it but she could stop. I am and always have been insecure about my size I am fairly small down there about 5 and thin. I know that she wants more and I think that she regrets not having intercourse with him. We don't talk about the affair and I don't throw it in her face and we are pretty much past it. But the other day we did talk about it and I pressed her about it. She said that she was being honest and she did think about how big he was from time to time but "it is not like I think about a bigger d*ck all the time." Hmmmmm what am I to take from that?? In some ways that really scares me in another I found it very exciting to hear her say that. Do you all think that because she was so close to feeling a larger man in her and never did that she will feel the need to finally get that feeling?? BY the way before you ask..... I am able to make her orgasm and I really focus on foreplay to help the process along. She did not start to be with him because of his size. There was neglect on my part that allowed him to work his way in. It wasn't until after she found out he was larger that she was excited to feel that for the first time. Our relationship is better now than before, sex is better, we did get toys since then (which she loves!?!?) and I give her the attention she deserves. I guess knowing she thinks about what she missed out on (even IF it wouldn't be better than me) scares me that well that might be on her "bucket list"?? Does that make sense? Part of me just wants to let her cross that off her list!!