My wife cheated with a large man....

[LilHubby]

OK.... here it goes....

You see a few years ago I suspected my wife was up to something. Started to go out with new friends and when I would work second shift she was on the computer and she NEVER used to be on there. I put on a key logger program that would capture her key strokes. That very night I called home and the line was busy so I knew she was online. I came home and checked the program while she slept on the couch.

Now the whole time I am telling myself that this is crazy and I felt bad spying on her but I needed to know. I saw what looked as a screen name and password and then the phrase " Hello are you on" She logged on a couple of time asking the same question. My heart started to beat. Then HE must of came on because the conversation started. I only could see her side but I read where she showed him her chest on camera and she said she couldn't wait to see that BIG thing of his again and could not wait to feel that BIG c*ck inside her. My heart was beating so fast it was all I could hear. I thought it was going to explode out of my chest!!!

Long story short she was with him twice in his car after his work and she preformed oral on him twice and he did very little to her. In fact I read that night that she was to meet him that day for the first time for intercourse!! However he blew her off that day. I read about how disappointed she was and about the outfit she brought that day to make it easy for him to get to her....in the car!!! I found the outfit in the van.

HERE IS MY REAL ISSUE....

The next day I read her emails and there was A LOT of sex talk and size was a main topic. Big, real man, hope I can take it, can't wait to feel it, etc. ect. ect.

After going through our ups and downs we moved on but I did make her tell me about all the "big" talk. She finally said that yes he was much, much larger than you are you happy. She was blunt about it. She was excited about his size and that she was looking forward to feeling him. I was stunned but she reassured me that she never wanted to leave me and she was not sure why she started it but she could stop.

I am and always have been insecure about my size I am fairly small down there about 5 and thin. I know that she wants more and I think that she regrets not having intercourse with him. We don't talk about the affair and I don't throw it in her face and we are pretty much past it. But the other day we did talk about it and I pressed her about it. She said that she was being honest and she did think about how big he was from time to time but "it is not like I think about a bigger d*ck all the time." Hmmmmm what am I to take from that?? In some ways that really scares me in another I found it very exciting to hear her say that.

Do you all think that because she was so close to feeling a larger man in her and never did that she will feel the need to finally get that feeling??

BY the way before you ask.....

I am able to make her orgasm and I really focus on foreplay to help the process along.

She did not start to be with him because of his size. There was neglect on my part that allowed him to work his way in. It wasn't until after she found out he was larger that she was excited to feel that for the first time.

Our relationship is better now than before, sex is better, we did get toys since then (which she loves!?!?) and I give her the attention she deserves.

I guess knowing she thinks about what she missed out on (even IF it wouldn't be better than me) scares me that well that might be on her "bucket list"?? Does that make sense? Part of me just wants to let her cross that off her list!!

 

[youngdane]

I'm with you on this one. If my wife REALLY wants to be with someone hung, I am all for it as long as it is SAFE and only physical.

My story...
http://www.lpsg.org/100898-wife-wants-try-large-cock.html

 

[TheRob]

sounds like she's a whore and you should leave her
my opinion

 

[B_pinoyurge]

yeah and find a better one
why not try a relationship with a guy this time?
for sure she wouldn't like it

 

[drdna]

Sex is not everything.

I have broken it off with gorgeous women, intelligent women, funny women, you name it. I have passed on one-night stands and relationships with beautiful women that were totally hot for me, because it would become too complicated and there is a lot of baggage that comes with those things.

It sounds like you have a pretty good relationship. Keep working on it with her.

Don't worry so much about penis size and your wife's bucket list. You have to ask yourself what your part in this is. Likely a lot of your concern stems from your own insecurity and perhaps some humiliation fetishism. The best thing is to talk openly about things and to ask yourselves, looking at it third-person objectively: what would the healthy thing to do be?

 

[omgiswatdeysay]

Seems to me, folks in MI have a problem being monogamous.

Small penis, Big problem


Either that, or this is one trumped up story.

 

[D_Alfredo Hites]

wow...i can't believe a man would loan his wife out so she can get her pussy thrashed by a big ass dick.

possibly a manifestation of deep-seeded self esteem issues caused from childhood abuse. (jk)

grow some balls. i guarantee you that is why a wife would seek that shit out, because no woman wants to be with a man who has no confidence. even if you don't, pretend you do if you want to keep a woman.

then again, a fetish is a fetish and to each his own. some girls are just whores lol!

 

[D_Della Doubledees]

sounds like she's a whore and you should leave her
my opinion

yeah and find a better one
why not try a relationship with a guy this time?
for sure she wouldn't like it

I'm so sorry. Your post deserves more respect than this.

Clearly, you have committed to staying with your wife and you have worked past most of the issues that you were concerned about.

It's obvious, though, that this has left a bit of a scar on your self-esteem.

Before you decide to bring someone else in to 'do the job' and cross that off her "bucket list", please consider the psychological ramifications.

Is once going to be enough for you? For her? Will you be comparing her reactions to him... with her reactions to you? Will you keep asking her if she wants to do it again, or will you let it go and never talk about it again?

It seems as though she has let it go, and that she is committed to you... and the only time it has been brought up (again) is by you.

If she wants to put this behind her, and you have agreed, then leave it alone. Having a 'stand-in' to cross things off her list might seem like a good idea.... but most women don't think like men do. The majority of us don't have a "cross-it-off-the-list" way of looking at sex. We like a skilled, confident, competent lover... who is comfortable with who he is and what he's got to work with.... no matter what size it is.

Don't let your insecurities ruin what you've fought so hard to rekindle. If she's what you really want, don't you think YOU'RE worth being what SHE really wants, too?

 

[B_starinvestor]

My two cents.

I had a very similar experience with my wife - I even had the keystroke spyware computer program as well. My wife, though, had intercourse with the guy.

We worked it out and stayed together. Then she did it again and now we are divorced.

Once she had demonstrated a propensity to engage in this type of behavior, i think she found it very difficult to resist it later.

I would do one of two things. First, if you want to let her do it - you make the rules of who and when. this is dangerous ground.

If you don't want her fucking somebody else, I would be very, very clear that its over if she goes down that road.

Sorry to hear about this. I've been there, and it ain't fun.

 

[yesitsbig]

sounds like she's a whore and you should leave her
my opinion

I'm with you, rob. He should leave her because she will do it again.

 

[Hotrocker]

If I caught my wife in almost any form of infidelity, it would be over there and then. That sort of thing shouldn't be tolerated by any man with moral, integrity and class.

 

[killerb]

If I was in this situation, my marriage would be over...
I cannot tolerate infidelity...
and all that spying & crap only means that you no longer trust her...
no trust = no hope...

 

[MrsSmallLovesBig]

Well as a wife in a happy marriage who has been enjoying other men for the past 4 years I can say that it can work. But you have to be absolutely certain in your mind that you want it to happen. Some ground rules have to be established, and more importantly adhered to no matter what.

However, be warned this kind of lifestyle is not for everyone, and has major pitfalls that both husband and wife must make sure they understand and can deal with. So be absolutely certain that both of you can handle the situation before taking the step or your marriage will be ripped apart (I have seen that happen to a very dear friend of ours).

And also remember to be patient, as it may take time for your wife to fully accept the idea. It took me more than 4 years and even the the first time was not easy at all.

 

[bigjpgh]

Why is it an automatic assumption that monogamy in a relationship is the best way, nay, the ONLY way to be? Every relationship is different and there are many couples who enjoy a poly-amorous relationship and a great marriage at the same time. If he and his wife, or any couple really, are ok with it, or want to work through it, or can deal with it, than who are we to judge the worth of those people or that relationship. Don't instantly condemn her as a whore or some other such demeaning label, and don't condemn him as weak, insecure, or lacking moral integrity and class (all of which have been said in previous posts). There are many on this site who need to calm down, quit jumping all over people, and have some courtesy towards their fellow posters.

 

[LilHubby]

Leaving her was never a thought, her leaving me crossed my mind. I love her and wanted to stay with her.

The dis-trust - spying thing bothered me. However, there was such and change in her actions and behavior that I had to see what was up. ZERO time on the computer to quiet a bit. Then demanding that she gets to spend some time with friends and getting angry about it when I never put up any resistance to the idea more than some simple questions like who and where. Trust me I felt really bad about not trusting her and even told myself that I am going to feel real bad about this.......well I felt bad alright.

I only posted on here because I have not seen much on people in my situation...where a little guys wife finds a big guy type of thing. It really sends in into a stated of shock to read those words! Years later it has turned in to a turn on and something I almost want her to experience. Just seeing how excite, eager and submissive she was to him in their conversation and email.....scares me and excites me all at the same time!

I was wondering if that was normal and if people have had to deal with something like this.

 

[killerb]

Leaving her was never a thought, her leaving me crossed my mind. I love her and wanted to stay with her.

The dis-trust - spying thing bothered me. However, there was such and change in her actions and behavior that I had to see what was up. ZERO time on the computer to quiet a bit. Then demanding that she gets to spend some time with friends and getting angry about it when I never put up any resistance to the idea more than some simple questions like who and where. Trust me I felt really bad about not trusting her and even told myself that I am going to feel real bad about this.......well I felt bad alright.

I only posted on here because I have not seen much on people in my situation...where a little guys wife finds a big guy type of thing. It really sends in into a stated of shock to read those words! Years later it has turned in to a turn on and something I almost want her to experience. Just seeing how excite, eager and submissive she was to him in their conversation and email.....scares me and excites me all at the same time!

I was wondering if that was normal and if people have had to deal with something like this.

suspicions confirmed...
enjoy your life...you already know what you want...go forth & have fun...

 

[Hockeytiger]

Why is it an automatic assumption that monogamy in a relationship is the best way, nay, the ONLY way to be? Every relationship is different and there are many couples who enjoy a poly-amorous relationship and a great marriage at the same time. If he and his wife, or any couple really, are ok with it, or want to work through it, or can deal with it, than who are we to judge the worth of those people or that relationship. Don't instantly condemn her as a whore or some other such demeaning label, and don't condemn him as weak, insecure, or lacking moral integrity and class (all of which have been said in previous posts). There are many on this site who need to calm down, quit jumping all over people, and have some courtesy towards their fellow posters.

Overall I agree. While I certainly wouldn't be comfortable in the OP's position it really isn't for me to judge. If it works for them, so be it.

 

[lokiau]

I am placing my bet that she is a fat whore.

It seems to me that Fat chicks are the most likely to obsess about cock size, not sure why?

 

[LilHubby]

Nice comment about my wife.

 

[Watta Bing]

I'm so sorry. Your post deserves more respect than this.

Clearly, you have committed to staying with your wife and you have worked past most of the issues that you were concerned about.

It's obvious, though, that this has left a bit of a scar on your self-esteem.

Before you decide to bring someone else in to 'do the job' and cross that off her "bucket list", please consider the psychological ramifications.

Is once going to be enough for you? For her? Will you be comparing her reactions to him... with her reactions to you? Will you keep asking her if she wants to do it again, or will you let it go and never talk about it again?

It seems as though she has let it go, and that she is committed to you... and the only time it has been brought up (again) is by you.

If she wants to put this behind her, and you have agreed, then leave it alone. Having a 'stand-in' to cross things off her list might seem like a good idea.... but most women don't think like men do. The majority of us don't have a "cross-it-off-the-list" way of looking at sex. We like a skilled, confident, competent lover... who is comfortable with who he is and what he's got to work with.... no matter what size it is.

Don't let your insecurities ruin what you've fought so hard to rekindle. If she's what you really want, don't you think YOU'RE worth being what SHE really wants, too?

You gave the best advice that anyone on here did or could have given this poor guy.

Good for you!!

I post this with the utmost sincerity!