My Wife is Sick of My Big Dick

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by B_All4show, Sep 13, 2007.

  1. B_All4show

    B_All4show New Member

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    This is a long story, but I have been married for 15 years and over the years my wife and I have been having less and less sex. My wife and I have gotten in many fights over the lack of sex. I know it is not terrible, but once a week half assed attempt is not enough. Sometimes it is a mere hand job or a blow job for 1 minute and then a hand job. She knows at any time she can get on top and have an orgasm or two in about 3 or 4 minutes, but she chooses not to. It is really unsatisfying for me and too much for her. The funny thing is that she is upset if I take too long in the shower, she really thinks masturbation is repulsive. Many times she is in the room taking off he make up during my nightly shower and she will make a comment about spending too much time soaping my dick or I am too “indulgent” when I put on lotion or baby oil after the shower. In the morning if she sees me going to the shower with morning wood, she just kind of rolls her eyes.

    I used to masturbate to make up for the difference in our sex drives, but really it has lost its luster. To combat this boredom, I have found penis enlargement has taken sex or masturbation’s place. I have always had a large dick, but about two years ago, I started to enlarge it. I have increased it some what both in erect length and thickness as well as flaccid size. I have also done another thing; I have increased its visibility. I think this is a passive aggressive act but I often wear a cock ring to make it look bigger. My wife is very modest and any visible bulge makes her upset. So now we are in a vicious circle. My large cock not only doesn’t turn her on, but it gets her pissed.
     
  2. musclebutt2

    musclebutt2 New Member

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    Have you considered marriage counseling? 15 years is quite an investment in time together, but sometimes couples do grow apart and it is time to terminate the relationship. Who knows, it might be just sexual incompatibility or something else is at work. I'm thinking there's more to it than just a lack of sexual intercourse; because your wife is making you feel bad about your body/sexuality and attempting to control your orgasms; there is some kind of power struggle going on. It reeks of contempt, and that's a very bad sign in any healthy relationship.
     
  3. Bajan

    Bajan Member

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  4. Osiris

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    Have you thought that maybe she is using the cock and masturbation as excuses? I think you need counseling. My wife and I have two very different sex drives and whereas she isn't a masturbation hater (trust me I spend a lot of quality time in the shower), of course going to a sex surrogate is NOT an option (for either of us). You guys need to come to a compromise that suits each of you in your lifestyle.

    The main reason I think you need therapy is that sometimes deeper issues come out and this really sounds like your wife is using the ages old "habits you've had for years finally piss me off" excuse to cover for what's really bothering her.

    I do have one question though. If you knew your wife had issue with your big penis, why on earth did you enlarge it? That sounds like defiance on your end quite honestly.
     
  5. B_All4show

    B_All4show New Member

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    Unfortunately, that is a very astute perception.
     
  6. B_All4show

    B_All4show New Member

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    I agree, that is why I said it is passive agressive. I really do not have to do anything to piss her off, just show some bulge.

    PE has always intrigued me and as I said it works and it is become a bit of a habbit. I do get some gratification showing off a little and also, I know that it has to make her think of my sexuality rather than just ignoring me.

    I think some people on this site have stated that men are looked at mostly non-sexually and women have everything out there, clevege, tight shirt, pushup bra, thong, tight pants etc. Pissing her off is not as good as having a good sex life, but it is better than being ignored.
     
  7. MacBuddy01

    MacBuddy01 New Member

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    Dear All4Show,

    Sorry about your problems buddy. The short of it comes down to this...NO ONE has the right to make someone feel bad about themselves no matter how much time you have invested into a marriage or commitment. I have come to discover in my many years on this planet is that when a mate/partner/wife starts acting like your wife is acting and making you feel badly about you and you penis (sexual desires). She or He is already interested in someone else or involved in another relationship. She may not want to be with you because she may feel like she's cheating on her lover/sex partner. I have seen it happen may times to people I care about and twice to me. Good Luck and do what you want to do with yourself...jerk your cock as many times as you want to...cause it's yours...and show that bad boy off...women show off the tits...about time Men get the Balls to show off what the Good Lord gave us!!!
     
  8. fallon2

    fallon2 New Member

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    The first thing is to sit down with her and READ to her EXACTLY what you just wrote and see what she says and take it from there.
     
  9. B_All4show

    B_All4show New Member

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    I have to say I do not think she is cheating on me. She is very busy with our kids and the school, she just puts me at last priority. I think man women, once satisified in other areas of their life, nice house, nice car, nice kids, good job (or no job) do not really need sex at least not as much.


    Thanks for the sentiment. :smile:
     
  10. Not_Punny

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    What is so charming about being married to her that keeps you in a sexual straightjacket?
     
  11. Londonfields

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    have you considered divorce? she sounds a total bore. get a new woman. loads of them love big cocks...
     
  12. Osiris

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    So I would say the problem goes deeper than just sex. Your wife doesn't even compliment you anymore. Been there done that too. Odd thing is what shook my wife loose was there was a woman at work, we'll call her Celeste.

    Celeste is happily married, has children and is one of those genuinely loving people. Being around her you can't help but be happy. Wendy loves the fragrances men wear. One day I come in and she bounces up and gives me a hug. She lingers and buries her nose in my neck and inhales, "GOD I love that smell on you." I got goosebumps and thought nothing of it. Well I was wearing Woody Sandalwood oil which the wife hates. Celeste was also a very physically beautiful woman and has gorgeous blonde hair and a killer body. So one day, she comes up and hugs me and as she is hugging me, she says "let's rub the twins all over you." OK, now I am MASSIVELY turned on.

    One day my wifes car is in the shop and we both have appointments. She drives me to work so she can keep the car. My wife decides to come in and pick up a few items we need at home. She knows and loves pretty much everyone I work with, except Celeste for some reason. So I come out and Celeste does her best big squeezy busty rubbing hug. Wife saw it. She comes up to the counter, rings out and I say I'll see her at 5.

    5 PM rolls sround, wife comes in in this killer sun dress which shows of her curvy bod. She has had her hair done, nails done, looks killer. I tell her she looks wonderful and I ask what's the occasion? "Can't I look sexy for my husband?" So this behavior keeps on for about a month and she starts popping into work at all odd times of the day. I finally sit her down and ask the "What's with you?" question. She plays dumb and I finally say it. "How do you go from a year of not even noticing if I'm alive or dead to looking like Jennifer Connoly on a daily basis?"

    The truth came out and we have talked it out and are twice as united as we were before.

    Point is either you guys have to find a way to get that spark back or you are destined to part. I agree that 15 years is a lot of time and investment to piss away so I'd give whatever last ditch you can a try.

    I'm pulling for you man.
     
  13. B_All4show

    B_All4show New Member

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    Yes, I wonder the same thing. We met when we were 20, dated for 5 years and have 3 kids. Everything else is good. Divorce would be a mess. Do you know why divorce is so expensive? ...Because it is worth it. :smile:

    I have to wonder when the kids are off to college if we will get close again, or we will just go our separate ways.
     
  14. schllong

    schllong New Member

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    Maybe morals?? You both need to get to a good counselor right away. You both have communication and hostility problems. If you both truly want to save your marriage, with alot of work it can be done. Good luck!
     
  15. Not_Punny

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    Uh, oh.

    You're stuck then.

    Can I suggest buying your wife a big bouquet of flowers, chocolates, some sexxxxxxy lingerie and a copy of the book, The Proper Care And Feeding Of Husbands by Laura Schlessinger. ***

    Put it all in a fancy box, and write in big letters, "Because I love you. You're my woman and my wife..."

    Just try it...

    .... frankly, you've got nothing to lose but more time.



    *** This book champions male sexuality and needs in terms that women can understand.
     
  16. BigMeatNJ

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    I unfortunately was in a similiar marriage that ended after 18 years. We married young (21-22) and although it wasn't just sex that we grew apart in, it was part of it. of course my ex knew my size before we married, but to be fair, as I posted here in other places, i did grow more in my mid 20's...a little longer and it thickened up alot. not that I'm impossibly big, but she tended to be very dry also (yes I used lube when I could) it just stopped being comfortable for her. now you can ask what came first..the lack of sexual desire causing what became sexual animosity and distancing, or the growing apart causing sexual animosity. nothing in a marriage happens in a vacumn! We wound up divorcing...I wouldn;t wish it on anyone..especially since we have 2 children (grown now). but we both remarried and are happier now.
    oh yeah..she too always said in anger things like "all you care about is how big it is" or take your big dick and handle it yourself" maybe it's just trying to verbally hurt you in anger.
    but the point I am trying to make is..it is probably not just because you dick is big. (although I know for a fact that the guy my ex remarried is very small in that department ..she said so in passing to me once. her exact worrds..and I remember them like it was yesterday..were " well one thing that couldn't be more different between you 2 is your birds...he's not even half your size there" surprised me when she said it, I looked at her in a questioning surprised way, and she sighed "yeah..its like salami vs weenie"
    I admit...I liked it
     
  17. rodinorlfl

    rodinorlfl New Member

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    I think couples get in the comfort zone after a few years. woman and men take thing for granted let her know that u are very sexually active tell her u need more than once a week and a 1 min blow job just won't cut it.. this story reminds me of my first marage... I was sexually frustrated and I decided after many years of marage to get a divorce.. it has nothing to do with size of your penis. and u wearing a cock ring is just your way of getting more attention... I'm telling you if she does not open herself to you, u would get someone else to have a relationship with because sex is a big part of any relationship. now I have someone who is more open to my sexuall desires even though it is some what a problem when you have a big cock(blow jobs) but she is still very open to pleasuring my every sexual desire.. so maybe u must try and communicate with her if all fails there will always b someone to fuck and suck you good... good luck dude....
     
  18. Osiris

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    I like Hotmilf's suggestion even though I despise Dr. Laura. Another book you may try is 1000 Places to See Before You Die: US and Canada Edition. Pick out some day trips in your area or take a longer trip. My wife and I got a book more territory specific (Great Places to Kiss in the Northwest). We did day trips and let me tell you it has been wonderful (A day at the spas at Salish Lodge overlooking the Snoqualmie Falls? THAT is guaranteed to get you going.)

    I agree with hotmilf, you're hooked. You really love your wife and when we get to those points where we have that perfect life, we get complacent. Start doing stupid little things. A rose next to her coffee cup in the morningwith a chocolate kiss. Send her an I love you text message when you are at work for no good reason. Just sit and stare at her and when she asks, "What the hell are you looking at?" just reply "Beauty."

    We get so complacent we forget the little things that we did before we fell in love and got fat and successful. I think every couple should be forced to watch "Say Anything" periodically to remember what it was to want that one special person.

    Oh, if you want a good date night movie and you like foreign films? GEt a copy of Eat, Drink, Man, Woman. It's a movie my foreign film hating wife loves. :biggrin1:
     
  19. invisibleman

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    This is a long story, but I have been married for 15 years and over the years my wife and I have been having less and less sex. My wife and I have gotten in many fights over the lack of sex. I know it is not terrible, but once a week half assed attempt is not enough. Sometimes it is a mere hand job or a blow job for 1 minute and then a hand job. She knows at any time she can get on top and have an orgasm or two in about 3 or 4 minutes, but she chooses not to. It is really unsatisfying for me and too much for her. The funny thing is that she is upset if I take too long in the shower, she really thinks masturbation is repulsive. Many times she is in the room taking off he make up during my nightly shower and she will make a comment about spending too much time soaping my dick or I am too “indulgent” when I put on lotion or baby oil after the shower. In the morning if she sees me going to the shower with morning wood, she just kind of rolls her eyes.

    I used to masturbate to make up for the difference in our sex drives, but really it has lost its luster. To combat this boredom, I have found penis enlargement has taken sex or masturbation’s place. I have always had a large dick, but about two years ago, I started to enlarge it. I have increased it some what both in erect length and thickness as well as flaccid size. I have also done another thing; I have increased its visibility. I think this is a passive aggressive act but I often wear a cock ring to make it look bigger. My wife is very modest and any visible bulge makes her upset. So now we are in a vicious circle. My large cock not only doesn’t turn her on, but it gets her pissed.

    It sounds like you need to separate from your wife. If she is hating on you like that, then there are issues. If she isn't having sex with you, then who else is she having it with?

    My ex did the exact same behaviors as your wife to find out that he was fucking two other guys. He was dogging me out because I wasn't like those guys HE was fucking. He tried to turn that crap on me.

    You wanna spend fifteen more years with that kind of behavior?
    Separate from your wife.
     
  20. Not_Punny

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    Invisibleman -- I usually agree with you, but not in this case. Separation is not always an option when three kids and a mortgage are hanging in the balance.

    Osiris -- I agree with you completely!!

    BTW, I am not a "fan" of Dr. Laura, and she would never, EVER approve of me! But I do agree with the book, Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands -- it's one of the few books out there that explains a man's needs to a woman. It also warns women about the consequences of nagging and sexual neglect -- being dumped by the husband the minute the kids are off to college. :wink:
     
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