badger2395
Experimental Member
- Joined
- Nov 14, 2007
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- Madison (Wisconsin, United States)
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- 50% Straight, 50% Gay
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- Male
I never mentioned any personal suffering at all. Not once do I mention one bad thing that has happened to me.
I'm not sure I agree with 100% of what darkhorse is saying, but he's got a point: the women on here are being cruel and insensitive. Why is it every time a man's got a problem with something a woman does he has to "just get over it." I think if this dude's wife TRULY loves him she'd be working her ass off to make sure his fears are allayed.
Two more points and I'll shut up:
1) One of the arguments posted here is that because it happened so long ago he should "just drop it." Okay, but what if he'd discovered what she did right after she did it? If it was me and I discovered the email right after it happened, I'd either dump her immediately or use her for sex while I looked for a woman who brags about ME in her emails to her friends instead of some other asshole.
2) Past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior and it sounds like your wife likes to shop around. Think about it, she managed to hide this from you for a very long time. Are you sure this happened only once? What else don't you know about? I think you owe it to yourself to find out. And please don't ask her. If she has something to hide, the last person she's going to tell is YOU. Another argument I'm hearing is that you must be really awesome if she married you and not the marine. Maybe so, but the fact remains: your wife wasn't bragging about you. She was bragging about another man. That would make anyone insecure and you are not wrong or crazy for feeling that way. It seems like SOME of the women on here are less interested in helping you than in shaming you for feeling insecure. Don't confuse the issue YOU are not insecure. You are unsure of your wife's devotion to you. You are unsure of how highly your wife esteems you. You are unsure of her honesty. Her actions led to that.
Also, let me clarify something for the ladies. You might be with your husband because he's nice, or honest, or really genuine. That's all well and good, but I'm not sure any man actually gives a damn about any of that. We want you to be with us because, among other things, we turn you on, we make you scream with pleasure, because you're addicted to us. If you doubt this, go to tell your husband or boyfriend that your ex is way better in bed than him and see how he reacts. Chances are, he's not going to say, "Who cares!? I'm way nicer!"
It would depend on the insecurity and the reason for which it exists. If I'm insecure about my physical safety because my guardian beats me with a phone book every night, my insecurity has a perfectly valid reason to exist. If I'm insecure about my appearance despite being far more attractive than the average, maybe my caprice is mine to conquer.
women on here are harsh.
i am sure if one started a thread saying their hubby left his email open and she snooped and saw he emailed a frat buddy things are going well with the wife but his college gf the cheerleader gave so much better head the LPSG'ers would be WAY more sympathetic and not so harsh
Totally. There's a complete double standard.
It might be worth starting a seperate thread about this.
I can't believe so many people - particularly women - are being so hard on this guy.
Just telling OP to "man up and deal with it" is no help at all. Everybody has different issues to deal with, many of which may seem trivial to other people, but huge to that person. Callously telling them to "get over themselves" is probably the most unhelpful thing anyone could think of saying. It actually re-affirms the perception to themselves that they have problem without doing anything to help solve it, when they might have been struggling to overcome that issue ineffectively for a long time. It's actually very cruel.
Furthermore, all you people giving "slap in the face" advice, should bear in mind that it is standard practice in couple's therapy to consider that if one person in a relationship has an issue, then the relationship has an issue; i.e. two people are involved. None of you have thought OP's wife is in any way responsible for the fact her husband feels insecure about this; you have all sought to absolve her of any blame at all. This is wrong.
Clearly his wife had not done enough to make him feel secure about the matter.
I seriously doubt that a female posting here on exactly the same subject would receive such harsh treatment - i.e. discovering an email written by her husband during their courting period, bragging to his friends about the fact he had been fucking the shit out of a hot dancer with a fantastic body, lovely tidy pussy, and superb sexual skills, and yet not finding any bragging email about herself. This would be bound to create self esteem issues in anyone.
There are some big issues at play here. Anyone familiar with this site should know that penis size is a HUGE source of concern for a lot of men. Also, the fact that she wrote a bragging email about the marine friend, but no bragging email about OP, even though she was courting him at the time. Then there is the fact that she did not tell him the truth about what she had been doing that weekend, until he found out the truth himself.
OP, I'd be really interested to know what your wife has said about this matter. Does she know how much it has affected you? Why has what she has said so far not allayed your concerns?
It was 10 yrs ago! Damn...you people know how to pay attention.MY concern, for the OP is, did she use protection (Or did the marine)?
Given the time frame, AIDS/HIV was/is prevalent, and if the dude's dipping it in everything he can... You never know.
This is exactly what the OP was looking for. He has used this to beat up his wife for years and some dip shit says it's ok. Oh and by the way...continue on. Way to go.Originally Posted by darkhorse2008uk
I would advise that you use the fact that she cheated on you, and bragged about it to her friends, as a matter to guilt trip her, as frequently as possible. Make her feel totally ashamed about it. This will give you the upper hand in the relationship, and in time, you may have your wife to such a guilt ridden submissive position, that you can conduct affairs of your own without her ever having the nerve to confront you on the matter, because she has no right to be suspicous.
Frankly, that's probably what most women would do if the roles were reversed.
thanks for the replies everyone. sorry i havent got the chance to check the site for a couple of days. I really don't consider what she did cheating. we were not "exclusive" at the time. The thing that honestly bothers me so much is the fact that she was bragging to her friend about it and there was nothing about me when i was fucking her pretty much every day for the two weeks before that and for the 5 and a half months afterwards.
and if she will always crave the elusive giant cock that i can't give her.
How often does she want to go visit her parents by herself? If that doesn't happen, I'd say you probably have nothing to worry about.