My wife's past

[6_andahalf]

OK I've been married a good few years now and we've generally been ok together. However our relative experience sexually is vastly different. She is the only person I've had sex with, or even done anything remotely sexual with. I had chances previous to meeting her but had a problem with anxiety/depression and used alcohol excessively to deal with it.

So with us being at opposite ends of the sexual spectrum, she recently told me that on the night we got together, she had a guy there she was seeing on the same evening I turned up. That is to say, I had gone to a couple of pubs and had a good skinful before plucking up the courage to commit myself to potential sex. Previous to this night we'd become friends but sensed there was something more between us.

Anyway, to cut a long story, she invited me in and I lost my v-plates. Fast forward to a relatively recent admission on her part, which was that she had a man there on that evening, and that he left via the back door while I was knocking on the front. OK well, she told me this guy had an 11" penis.

So unbeknown to me, she went from him straight to me at 6.5" Which shouldn't bother me because she's been married to me ever since. But had I known that night, I honestly think I'd have gone straight home. I mean, that's one hell of a big cock. Apparently she had seen him on and off previous to that night but it was just about sex. And I know people will say 'well she's been with you all these years' and of course she has. Am I letting this play on my mind excessively? She did have a lot of men, even cheated on me four years ago.

 

[hzs3fg]

First of all he did not have an 11" penis. There is no known human on this earth with a 10" penis let alone an 11" one.

Second your 6.5" is well above the average according to every legitimate scientific study.

 

[Gj816]

Dang it man.!
First, I'd say you can't change the past so don't worry about it.
The cheating four years ago, that's another thing altogether.

Although, if you've managed to stay together since she cheated that says something for you.
Obviously, you are committed to the relationship. What you have to do is be able to let sleeping dogs lie.

If you can put it behind you then concentrate on moving forward, while trying not to carry the baggage of her cheating, or what she did before you were an item and married. Good luck.

 

[deleted4500261]

I’m going to say that some of this story sounds odd. Why would she tell you this now and why would she tell the size of this guy’s dick?
I agree with the poster above in that it’s extremely improbable that he was 11 inches. Like…EXTREMELY improbable. Not impossible but very unlikely. It seems like an unnecessary and cruel thing to tell you unless you asked for the information.
So, let’s assume that she is exaggerating his size, here is what I think. Did she cheat with this guy?
The fact that she was your first and she stayed with you and married you means she liked what you had to offer so there is nothing to focus on as far as her past sex partner.
It doesn’t sound like she’s obsessing over him so there is no need for you to.

 

[cofrader]

Invite her in she could claim the price
The $10,000 10-inch challenge
@TinyPrincess is the same price for 11 inches? It should increase logarithmically by the rarity.

 

[purepilot73]

A marriage built on lies isn’t much of a marriage. She has lied to you repeatedly and why is she confessing now? Is she trying to cuckold you? Get couples counseling or get out.

 

[6_andahalf]

Very quickly because I have to go out. Thank you all for your very supportive replies, much appreciated and realise I have a problem that goes well beyond anything to do with dick size.

Thanks again.

 

[6_andahalf]

Hi guys. You all bring up some valid points. Sometimes when you're in a marriage/relationship, you can't see the wood for the trees and emotions get in the way of rational thought.

I think she's picked up on my 'interest' in penis size, or preoccupation with it. And I'll admit, the thought of being 'outgunned' by another man is common enough to have its own niches in the porn world and indeed some people's sex lives. Its a double-edged sword though. I tend to lack confidence in life full stop, so why would sex be any different?

The cheating was a one-off. There has been nothing since. I guess I'm insecure over the amount of partners she had before meeting me and the stuff she was doing i.e threesomes and foursomes.

 

[cofrader]

Your wife past isn’t relevant to me and if she used to date the whole redsox team or gangbanged clowns that left her all stained who cares. Regret your life choices? Wanted to have more sex too bad the only way to change the past is with a time machine so man up and enjoy your present and build a better future.
Consider that she didn’t stayed with the red socks so she wasn’t satisfied with them, raising the bar constantly for wilder experience sounds an addiction which could cover a depression.
Now what does she has to say, we are all a bunch of strangers but you married her and assume you want to keep alive the marriage.
I must confess you sound like a poor written sph script, I wouldn’t expect measures from her, he make me feel better or it’s bigger but measures on internet inches it’s just ridiculous.
Your not outgunned at all both has penis both work check, if he made her laugh I would start worrying.
If she needed a double mamuts dick to feel something she wouldn’t be with you.
Now about what can you do with your present, if you want more sex I would take her to a swinger place where you could have a 3some with another woman for your fucked woman counter.
But if you really listen to her you could gain all the experience you need to get her satisfied.
What work as charm with every woman is this one: radio niple on the right 3 pussy tap, jeovah witness on left nipple and on the heat of the confusion try to penetrate her ass. I warranty at least a throat punch.

 

[TinyPrincess]

Invite her in she could claim the price
The $10,000 10-inch challenge
@TinyPrincess is the same price for 11 inches? It should increase logarithmically by the rarity.

It would almost be worth it. Let's make it so for this particular poster.

 

[6_andahalf]

LOL I have no idea if she's telling the truth. But if 10" penises are as rare as people here are saying, then she's likely bullshitting. He lives in another town but I'm not about to ask him.

 

[amazzzed2]

LOL I have no idea if she's telling the truth. But if 10" penises are as rare as people here are saying, then she's likely bullshitting. He lives in another town but I'm not about to ask him.

She may not by lying, only overestimating. Does she seem to be satisfied by you sexually?

 

[deleted1074483]

i'd only add a couple of points to consider -

- was she cheating?? you'd only been 'friends' before this night you lost your v plates and hit happened the same day - probably somewhat rude of her to have someone else before you but her body, her life and at that point you weren't monogamous in love/loved up bf/gf or married. So I'm not sure you can say it was cheating and so i'd really not got hung up on it.

- you say that since then she's been faithful to you and that your life/sex life has generally been great - not sure how long but sounds like a good long while - so she is satisfied one would assume with how things are with you/your dick/your sexual life together? I presume from what you right she's never complained about sex?

- you say you have vastly different sexual experience? how do you know? has she told you she had dozens of partners before you or just this one seemingly particularly hung guy? and since you've been together and presumably been monogamous and faithful - any experience she may have had from many years previously has presumably been worked into your current relationship and you've grown together sexually since then? sexual experience isn't set in stone at one point in time!!

- the question i'd ask is why mention this now? Is it as you seem to suggest you've indicated a lack of confidence etc in yourself or did it come out maliciously?? both answers have very different focuses of attention!! If its from your confidence (or lack thereof) then talk to your wife about it openly and honestly and work it through with her?

- and finally yes you are very clearly overthinking all of this.

 

[Sagittarius84]

She did have a lot of men, even cheated on me four years ago.

Her sexual past before may matter, but it's above most of our expertise and pay grades to make a determination as to how...the cheating however....

Although, if you've managed to stay together since she cheated that says something for you.

I can think of a plethora of "somethings" most men wouldn't be happy makes them the reason they got stayed with.

- and finally yes you are very clearly overthinking all of this.

It's less about penis size and more about how you want to be valued in a relationship vs what she values you for. It is a big red flag that she is disclosing the penis size of sexual partners in such proximity to your time together, very tacky at the least...
unless you have been implying to her some cuckold or stag fantasy you have, where she might be making an effort to facilitate it.
Personally I've always thought unless the reconciliation was handled right on the man's end when his SO cheated on him, the resulting relationship would inherently be full of her disrespect and disdain for him, even if she opts to stay for other reasons.
I think this may be a case where OP needs some counseling and therapy to address his own issues while simultaneously seeking couples counseling to see if his wife is a safe person to go through his journey with.

 

[Number 9]

Yes, you’re letting into your psyche but it’s yours to do with as you like. This has nothing to do with your wife or any of the men she has been with. I does however have everything to do with your own self doubt and low self esteem.

You threw in a little bone there towards the end how she cheated on you four years ago but you didn’t reiterate that you’ve only been married a few. I take it the cheat( if it’s definable as such) was before the “I do’s”. It doesn’t hold the same weight for me. No I never cheated even before the vows.

Seems to me your subconscious is looking for cracks in the foundation so you can form an exit plan and blame it on her implied “need”. If your not interested then tell her up front and move on but if you love her then talk to a therapist to figure out what’s eating you and commit to her.

There’s no shame if you sexually tuning out because you’re tuning into what you really want. The shame is hanging her out to dry for something “you” are fixated on. Maybe you just have a difficulty coping with your emerging self and you feel it’s easier to come here and ask some random guys a loaded question so you can suggest to her that “she secretly wants a bigger cock in her bed.

For Kevin’s Kielbasa sakes, guys have to get over this “ Mom, Frank has a bigger wiener than me!” mentality. It must be the longest running joke in freakin history! SURE, some women absolutely like a large penis but I feel pretty secure in saying plenty are more interested in other aspects of who a man is otherwise. You really aren’t giving them much credit so ask yourself, why?

It doesn’t matter if you ask your wife to secretly tell you if she would like a bigger man because no matter what she says your self destructive personality will tell you” she lying to spare my feelings or whatever suits your needs.

If it worries you that badly go order a “ big” strap on, have some fun, then go have a nice night out. It’s sure better then throwing away your marriage over a tired joke.

Buck up fella and try on some self assured depends. You’ll be ok.

 

[18wheeler]

My ex wife was with 9 men before me. She literally called me the “itty bitty committee” due to the fact I was the smallest she had ever had.
It bothered me a little at first….. until we actually had sex. And she had her first orgasm from intercourse. After already having a few from my tongue.

My wife now, had multiple before me as well. 2 ex husbands and 5-6 randoms during a rough part of her life between husband 1 and 2.
I have never mentioned size to her. She has never mentioned it to me. She orgasms constantly

so personally I don’t care how big others are. If you’re making her happy. That’s all that matters.

that said. I wouldn’t be able to get passed the the cheating part. I’d be gone.

 

[53107]

My wife and I dated rather young so she only had seen a few dicks before mine. I never really had direct size discussions with her until years into our marriage, and she had thought I was just normal. She only done brief things with two other guys, and she said mine looked around the same size as her first guy. Other than that she got glimpses of porn here and there. So she just thought it was the size penises were supposed to be.

fast forward to her becoming a nurse, she said she started to realize my penis was bigger than most she would see. She said most look really small to her so she ended up measuring my dick and realized I’m bigger than normal at 7 inches 7.5 on a good day.

she’s also seen a handful of huge dicks. Some very huge while soft, but it was rare.
As we talk about her initial perception, she thinks back and thinks her first dick was really big, and gave her a false impression of the norm. She says it was about my size, but I have a feeling it was bigger.
In my 20 years with her, I have not gotten the courage to directly ask if she thought that one was bigger or not.
Tbh, not sure how I’d take it….so I never pushed it. She is definitely satisfied with my size, I prefer to leave it that way.

 

[longstroke7]

You guys care more about other men's cocks than your wives do.

 

[53107]

You guys care more about other men's cocks than your wives do.

Legit, I recognize that…still doesn’t change that fact. She also kind of knows I’m bigger but still acts like it’s not. I dunno I guess I like that shit.

 

[deleted18388141]

If you doubt yourself
Your minde will come up with all imaginable stories and fictions and reasons that you wanna believe logicialnto fuck up things because that s what you need to comfort your doubts!

so for you : all a partner needs is a big cock? And big cock is synonime of good sex
I am gay but i had relations with big cocks guys and normal and small
And i can tell you! It has it s vibe during sex but it doesn t make it better at all!
That s only how society resume manhood to you and good sex in big cock!