Naughty Christmas Jokes

Discussion in 'Funny Stuff: Jokes, Quizzes, Games & Pics' started by D_Kitten_Kaboodle, Dec 18, 2011.

  1. D_Kitten_Kaboodle

    D_Kitten_Kaboodle Account Disabled

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    What are your favorites?

    Here's one to start ~

    THE TOP 15 *OTHER* SIGNS SANTA CLAUS IS ACTUALLY A WOMAN

    15. Santa *remembers* it's Christmas. 'Nuf said.
    14. Reads children's letters in office instead of in bathroom.
    13. Never explains what exactly you did to deserve that coal in your stocking; if you have to ask, maybe that's the problem!
    12. Employs little people in a sweatshop and co-hosts TV talk show, "Regis and Santa Lee."
    11. Despite the closet full of red coats with big black belts, *still* insists she has nothing to wear on Christmas Eve.
    10. "Mrs. Claus" wears work boots, has a crew cut, and drives a '68 El Camino.
    9. A man simply would not care if you were naughty or nice.
    8. Actually seems to shake like TWO bowls full of jelly.
    7. Bowl full of jelly, my ass. It's water retention.
    6. Constantly whining about equality until it's time to clean out the reindeer stalls.
    5. Matching shoes and belt? Only a woman would accessorize a pantsuit like that!
    4. No guy would ever name his animals Dancer and Prancer.
    3. Santa never, ever observed peeing off of rooftops.
    2. The North Pole Blockbuster's been out of "The Horse Whisperer" for weeks.
    1. With the way they build chimneys these days you'd *have* to be Calista friggin' Flockhart just to get in!
     
  2. dude_007

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    Why did the snowman have a smile on his face?




    Because the snow blower was coming down the block.
     
  3. Mr. Snakey

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    Why is it that Santa never had children?


    Because he only comes once a year.
     
  4. MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK

    MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK Well-Known Member

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    What's the dif 'tween Santa and Tiger woods?
    Santa stops at THREE HOS.
     
  5. D_Kitten_Kaboodle

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    Why is Santa always jolly?

    He knows where all the naughty ladies live~~ :tongue:
     
  6. MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK

    MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK Well-Known Member

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    What do a Christmas tree and a man with a vasectomy have in common?

    The Balls are only there for show.:biggrin::naughty:
     
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