Ndombolo - are white women jealous?

[kazooplayer]

this thread is too stupid to reply to...
.

Agreed.

I can't believe this thread got as far as it did.

Agreed.

 

[Drifterwood]

And that, my friends, is racism.

I suppose that it is, but not that I blame him for his experience and exasperation.

But would you think me racist if I said, Man B, you're great but I prefer Asian women?

I suppose what I am interested in is whether it makes you racist if you have a racial sexual preference.

 

[ManlyBanisters]

I suppose that it is, but not that I blame him for his experience and exasperation.

Tarring all people who happen to share a skin colour with the same brush because of a bad experience with a few is not reasonable.

But would you think me racist if I said, Man B, you're great but I prefer Asian women?

I suppose what I am interested in is whether it makes you racist if you have a racial sexual preference.

It would some what depend how you said it. As quoted above it wouldn't bother me at all. If you were to imply that white women were flawed anda result you preferred Asian women, that would be different. Recognising as a personal preference and presenting it as such is very different from saying that X is better than Y as a statement of fact.

Hick and I were having a conversation last night vis preferring blondes / brunettes / redheads. In men I know I prefer darker haired types - in women I prefer blondes - I find black and asian brunettes as attractive as I find white blonde and redheaded women, I can appreciate a good figure on a white brunette but I rarely, if ever, actually want them. I believe this is because my sister and mother are white brunettes. The 3 of us are very relaxed about nudity, always have been. Naked white brunette women put me in mind of my mother and sister and it's a massive turn off.

Of course, there's nothing at all 'wrong' with white brunettes, sexually or otherwise - there is, perhaps, something wrong with me :smile:

 

[Gillette]

I suppose what I am interested in is whether it makes you racist if you have a racial sexual preference.

No, physical attraction is physical attraction.

Just because a particular race or group tends to have traits that are attractive to you doesn't mean that all in that race have, hence you are not open to dating that anyone of that race simply because they are of that race. Nor does it mean you wouldn't date someone of a different race if they had those traits.

Given this, though it would make a statement such as, "I prefer Asians" an odd overgeneralization.

If a person did only date someone purely on the basis of the partner being of that race then that would be racist.

 

[Drifterwood]

That isn't really what I meant.

I don't have preferences based on breast size, hair colour, figure size/shape, labia etc etc

I am talking about sexual attitude and how that has differed in my experiences between nationalities in a rather general sense and having a preference based upon it.

I have plenty of experience of families and communities not being happy with their scions being involved outside their particular group and not being happy with the prospective partner because of their race/religion etc tec..

 

[Gillette]

I am talking about sexual attitude and how that has differed in my experiences between nationalities in a rather general sense and having a preference based upon it.

The traits needn't be physical for my explanation to hold true to how I see preferences v. racism. I had meant to mention that in my post but apparently didn't.

 

[dolfette]

I suppose that it is, but not that I blame him for his experience and exasperation.

But would you think me racist if I said, Man B, you're great but I prefer Asian women?

I suppose what I am interested in is whether it makes you racist if you have a racial sexual preference.

nope.
personal tastes.
'i prefer asian women' is ok.
'i prefer asian women because white/black women are all bitch ho losers' isn't ok.

 

[B_dxjnorto]

Racism. I think it's normal to have preferences, but when does it rise to the level of an ism? Stereotypes are convenient bins in which to sort out tendencies. The Chinese are clannish and racist and they almost all have very similar skin, hair and eye color.

People will never quit with the isms. Differences so subtle you and I couldn't pick them out are cause for mayhem still in so many world venues. And you can't talk people out of their isms. The differences are so obvious to them that they see them where they don't exist. Trying to talk people out of their erroneous closely held beliefs and foregone conclusions often reinforces them. Why would you try so hard to change their thinking if they weren't right? They don't have to have any logical reason to think that what they think is right. They think it, therefore it is right and true.

 

[deleted356736]

I'm married to an African woman, born and raised there, and I can't recall anyone making assumptions about our sex lives! Although, before she met me, she met a few white guys who were attracted to the stereotype and not the woman.

Having said that, African culture is different in regards to sex. Not African-American, 100% African. It is much more common, almost universal, for African women to participate enthusiastically in the sexual part of a relationship, and 'no' is word seldom uttered. They certainly demand equality in the relationship, culturally they probably expect more equality than white women, and this is another aspect of African culture that goes back many thousands of years. African women seem to be less equal, but in fact African women have always run the house and it took a brave man to defy his wife in her domain. This was at the time when white women were absolute doormats. Because they have a longer history of relative equality, they are more comfortable negotiating relationship compromises with men. It is verbalised straight-up, so a husband knows exactly where he stands.

This posting is constructed partly from my marriage, but also from what I observed while living in her country, and from what I have observed from the many African friends that we have.

So I feel that there is some truth to the sexual stereotype, although whether white women would react to a man who has 'lived' there for a while on the basis of this stereotype is another thing altogether.

 

[ManlyBanisters]

What part of Africa is your wife from, cbr?

I find it somewhat difficult to believe the attitudes you mention are pan-cultural across such a large and diverse continent.

 

[Principessa]

*SNIP* Hick and I were having a conversation last night vis preferring blondes / brunettes / redheads. In men I know I prefer darker haired types - in women I prefer blondes - I find black and asian brunettes as attractive as I find white blonde and redheaded women, I can appreciate a good figure on a white brunette but I rarely, if ever, actually want them. I believe this is because my sister and mother are white brunettes. The 3 of us are very relaxed about nudity, always have been. Naked white brunette women put me in mind of my mother and sister and it's a massive turn off.

Of course, there's nothing at all 'wrong' with white brunettes, sexually or otherwise - there is, perhaps, something wrong with me :smile:

Au contraire, I find the fact you are not physically attracted to women who remind you of your mom or sis quite refreshing. Especially on this site.

I suppose that it is, but not that I blame him for his experience and exasperation.

But would you think me racist if I said, Man B, you're great but I prefer Asian women?

I suppose what I am interested in is whether it makes you racist if you have a racial sexual preference.

For most people, no it does not. However, everytime I mention my predilection for well-hung, white men I am called a racist so perhaps it is so.

And that, my friends, is racism.

And that is precisely why I have Javyn on ignore.


An interesting blog was done a few months ago on a similar topic.

 

[dolfette]

Having said that, African culture is different in regards to sex. Not African-American, 100% African. It is much more common, almost universal, for African women to participate enthusiastically in the sexual part of a relationship, and 'no' is word seldom uttered. They certainly demand equality in the relationship, culturally they probably expect more equality than white women, and this is another aspect of African culture that goes back many thousands of years. African women seem to be less equal, but in fact African women have always run the house and it took a brave man to defy his wife in her domain. This was at the time when white women were absolute doormats. Because they have a longer history of relative equality, they are more comfortable negotiating relationship compromises with men. It is verbalised straight-up, so a husband knows exactly where he stands.

you can't sum up an entire continent from living in one african country.

there are strict muslim countries, where the women are kept covered and under control. there are countries where genital mutilation is still the norm. there are strict christian countries where purity is expected.

what you're doing...it's like me, being in england, assuming i know spanish culture!

 

[B_johnschlong]

Not a little wishful thinking on your part here methinks.

Tell us in a few weeks time when you've got Africa out of occupying your head and it is but a distant memory for you.

That's probably true. It may just be my own perception and imagination. :smile:

 

[B_johnschlong]

What part of Africa is your wife from, cbr?

I find it somewhat difficult to believe the attitudes you mention are pan-cultural across such a large and diverse continent.

I've been in a dozen Sub-Saharan African countries, and sexual attitudes seem to be more or less the same everywhere.

Of course, you can never generalise, and one always talks from the perspective of ones own limited experiences only - but still, you can more or less feel it when you're in Africa.

Countries I've lived and worked in: Senegal (predominantly Muslim), Ivory Coast (Christian, indigenous, Muslim), Ghana (Christian, indigenous, Muslim), Cameroon (Christian, indigenous), Gabon (Christian, indigenous), Central African Republic (Christian, indigenous) and Congo-Kin (Christian, indigenous).

 

[deleted356736]

What part of Africa is your wife from, cbr?

I find it somewhat difficult to believe the attitudes you mention are pan-cultural across such a large and diverse continent.

Sub-Saharan Africa is primarily Bantu culture. There are many tribes and clans, but the culture is surprisingly homogenous. We have identified the spread of the Bantus east and south by observing the commonality of language, customs and culture across this large part of the continent. Only in Botswana and the far south of South Africa do we find the remnants of non-Bantu peoples.

My wife is from Zimbabwe, and she is part Kunda and part Zezuru.

The African friends we have are from Nigeria, Kenya, Zambia, the northern part of South Africa, and the Congo, and it is amazing just how common they are in behaviour, attitudes, morals, religious beliefs and even accents! My wife interacts with them as if they were Zimbabwean; there are no differences at all.

Their languages are all Bantu-derived, so they always speak English with the same accent. Next time you see a sub-Saharan African on the television, regardless of the country they come from they always speak English with the same intonation. This is a give-away to the Bantu language heritage, but the common elements are much more than just language.

 

[ManlyBanisters]

It is true that the colonial powers paid absolutely no heed to the existing cultures and the natural boarders when carving up Africa - hence many of the current borders are purely political and cultural norms do cross more fluidly from country to country.

About the accent - that's odd. I was in college with quite a few people from various sub-Saharan countries, mainly Nigeria and Kenya, and I thought their accents varied quite widely. I found the attitude towards women of the West African men was different from that of the Nigerian men, for example. I've also noticed that the French speaking people I've met from Cameroon, Senegal and Ivory Coast have different accents in French. I don't know about a common African language / language group along that coast though - I'd have to go read up.

 

[Drifterwood]

I found the attitude towards women of the West African men was different from that of the Nigerian men, for example.

West Africa - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

[ManlyBanisters]

West Africa - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

I didn't proof read - I meant 'East African men' not 'West African men' :redface:

 

[ManchesterTom]

I'm a white man. I have just returned from a very long stay in Central Africa. And yes, I have had great, spontaneous, joyous sex there. Many times, with many beautiful women.

Upon my return here in Europe, I noticed that white women look very differently at me now once they know I've lived in Africa.

Their gaze betrays some kind of jealousy and anger. As if they know that African women are vastly superior when it comes to uncomplicated sexuality.

Perhaps they realise that all the commonplaces about African versus European women are true?

I hope you were careful to wear a condom. Here in Africa we have a very large rate of AIDS infection. In certain places it is said to be as high as 40%.
Entire families are often being brought up by teenager siblings because the parents / elders have died.

 

[ScorpioSlut]

The Bantu Migration is fairly well documented historically speaking. And even though this is from a travel site it is the best and most full description including showing maps for the language groups that I could find to share with you all. Hopefully it might help.

History of the Bantu Migration into South Africa