Need advice about a family members man

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by amberleafbabe, Dec 22, 2009.

  1. amberleafbabe

    amberleafbabe Member

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    Well,as I said in another post I have not been on LPSG in over a year,so.I figured this was the best place to ask some advice. Without all the judgemental BS I would get somewhere else,anyway here is my issue.I have a close family member whom I love very much.She has been dating a guy for the past 3 years,although he is a attractive guy.I do not look at him in that way.Over this past year he has been coming on to me.Rubbing my chest,pinching my ass.Saying odd things like I got something for you to suck on.He claims he is 100% straight,but I can not tell when he has his crotch in my face.My family member seems to think this shit is cute,and actually eggs it on.Last week we were all drinking,and he was in our guest room.My family member was in the bathroom,and yeah I should not have put myself into this situation,but this guy is supposedly my friend.I was laying there talking to him when he pulled up the covers,and put them on me.After that he noozles up to me,rubbing me,and puts my hand on his penis.I jump put of the bed sort of in a daze,and go to bed.The next morning he tells me if she ever found out she would kill him,but informs me at the same time he wants to cheat on her sometimes.My thing is that she sees him acting the way he does towards me,and says nothing.So now I am wondering if she knows,and just does not care,or maybe wants soemthing to happen.I have no idea what to do about this without causing a huge drama.
     
  2. Gnothiseauton

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    I know this isn't much help buddy, but denial is a deep river in Egypt, and an easy one to swim at that. He's confused, she'd got blinders on, and I think you need to confront him. My question right now is: does he know you're 30% gay? or is he just hitting on you because you're a "safe" guy to hit on?
     
  3. amberleafbabe

    amberleafbabe Member

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    He knows that I have been a couple of men before.
     
  4. helgaleena

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    If they are an item as you say, and he wants to cheat on her, DOES She know that he has such an attitude? She's the one you 'love very much'. She needs to know he's not just playing at this but wants to seriously cheat. You need to check it out with her that it's actually okay with her to have an unfaithful partner.

    You have not been rebuffing this guy, for your own reasons whatever they might be, until you realized he was serious. That means you are not turned off by him playing with you. Would you be turned off by both of them at once? Because until they get it straight between them about this cheating business, that is what going further amounts to right now.

    I suspect that she is not going to like finding out he wants to cheat. But you owe it to her not to deceive her. She's family and you can't dump family.
     
  5. manniner

    manniner New Member

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    proof read
     
  6. NotSoDumb_Blonde

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    Be nice!


    He has a valid concern, who cares if he doesn't worry over grammar, editing...lol

    ~~~~~~~~

    So, here's my advice about the guy and the family member. I would confront the guy -- straight out confront him with the girl there, or without whatever you want. Make it clear to him if he doesn't stop, you will tell her, and that you're not interested in him....unless, well, are you interested in him? If so, maybe talk to her first, lay it out.

    There's going to be drama not because you are causing it, but because he is. Keep that in mind. And if I were you, and you are interest in him...I'd think twice about that. If he's willing to cheat on her with you, then more than likely he isn't all that....

    And if you want it to stop, you have to be firm with him, let him know it's not okay, whatever you have to say, but say it. He sounds creepy to me. I feel bad for you, and for her if she can't see how wrong it is to let him tease you like this, and because she can't see what a loser he is.

    Not sure if that's helpful or not....
     
  7. B_dxjnorto

    B_dxjnorto New Member

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    Let nature take its course.
     
  8. amberleafbabe

    amberleafbabe Member

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    Sorry,about not proof reading.Sometimes I do not pay attention when I am typing,and have alot of thoughts to put down at the same time.
     
  9. thadjock

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    i think he sounds curious.

    doesnt' mean he really wants to hurt her or cheat on her with you, but ur someone he can open up to, or at least cop a feel to "stick his toe in the waters" and see if he likes it.

    or maybe he's just a completely creepy loser like billijean said.

    i think ur on the path of finding out one way or the other....good luck and happy groping.
     
  10. amberleafbabe

    amberleafbabe Member

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    I have read everything you all have said,and have thought about it.I think the best thing forme to do is just tell them to stay away from my,and my home.At least until they can figure out what they want their lives to be about.My life is full of drama enough as it is right now,I don't need anymore added to it.
     
  11. sexplease

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    I say, MAKE DRAMA!! they all deserve it! especially you for putting up with his thinly veiled come-on's and her for egging him on. Perhaps she knows he's a closet schmuck and is subconsciously looking for an excuse to void thier relationship contract or excersize some form of control over him/
    Whatever the facts and case may be...Make drama and get this shit out in the open honest place where it should be.
    This dicking around with peoples emotions, especially yours, is tacky, seedy and you all deserve better.
     
  12. B_dxjnorto

    B_dxjnorto New Member

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    How close? You look a little sad in your avatar.
     
  13. amberleafbabe

    amberleafbabe Member

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    not a sister,but a cousin.
     
  14. B_dxjnorto

    B_dxjnorto New Member

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    Time for a three way. Am I bad?
     
  15. helgaleena

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    sexplease makes some good points. They are 'dicking around with people's emotions, especially yours.' It's up to you how to deal with this, maybe not drama versus drama, but something or other.
     
  16. amberleafbabe

    amberleafbabe Member

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    No,you are not bad.Just not with a family member,if she was not blood I would say yeah.
     
  17. Nkw17

    Nkw17 Member

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    Dont be the person he cheats on her for that would be wrong & tell him thats not cool & find a way to get out of being left alone with him. Then talk to her about it & say that you dont find it funny at all....
     
  18. ubered

    ubered New Member

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    Sounds like they're both playing their own games and using you as a stage.

    The key word here is RESPECT. Sounds like neither of them have much for you. Whatever you want to happen in this situation, make it happen. Stop being passive about it and letting things happen to you. Draw your boundaries, whatever they may be, and let them know in no uncertain terms.

    Personally, I'd tell them both where to go.
     
  19. patrick9999

    patrick9999 Member

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    I have no idea what his intentions are towards you but I do know that he's acting childish, immature and quite possibly just being an ass becuase he knows you're into men.

    As for drama, telling someone flat out to stop acting inappropiately isn't you causing anything - his and her reactions will decide how much drama takes place.

    Ater saying that, I've got to admit that I'm left wondering if you actually want to have sex with him.
     
  20. badinfluence

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    An old say goes "don't shit where you eat".

    I'm always up for hot sex but not when it comes with baggage like this. I sat stay away and don't let him drag you into what could end up costing you a relationship with you family member and him and everyone else in the family who she would bitch to when she finds out. Sounds like a whole lot of drama you don't want
     
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