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NEED ADVICE about GYM

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by The-Bigger-the-Better, Mar 29, 2010.

  1. The-Bigger-the-Better

    The-Bigger-the-Better Cherished Member

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    Couple years back I wrote a post about a father who would come to the gym with his young son. The kid wasn't majorly young but def. a minor. I thought it was odd and uncomfortable for me to see this kid there while naked men ...hung or not...just walked around. I think we should not hide "real world" experiences from our kids but I also think they should be kept innocent as long as possible. No need to rush a child into maturity. Well I made a stink about how minors shouldn't be allowed in the gym and eventually left. Well now my new gym membership is up and i miss my old gym. Would anyone go back to a gym you left on bad terms with?

    Any for those that don't know the back story:

    1. This kid was a minor.....I think because of nudity you should be 18. You have to be 18 to get into a rated R movie.

    2. His dad was part of the squash league and hung out nude half the time so the poor kid stayed there waiting while he talked.

    3. And yes I did change my work out hours at the time so I didnt have to be there at the same time...til it got too inconvenient and I left.

    Should I apologize even if I feel I was in the right? BTW the gym is invitation only for memberships.
     
  2. B_RedDude

    B_RedDude Banned

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    Keep them innocent from what? The nudity of other males?

    Dude, I don't see a problem at all. The "minor" is still a male, and if he doesn't already, he will soon look like the older guys in the locker room in terms of secondary sex characteristics.

    Seriously, what is the problem? Is he being obviosuly checked out/cruised by the older guys? If so, the older guys really need to be more careful around him.

    Interested to know what country you live in and how that might correspond to your attitudes toward nudity. I always like to remind people that the ancients ran the Olympics in the nude. What's the hang-up if guys aren't fooling around in front of this kid? Nudity does not = Sex.
     
  3. D_Jared Padalicki

    D_Jared Padalicki Account Disabled

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    I disagree. I started gym at age 15-16 and showered there, nude...
    No one was bothered, there were even guys age 13 there. It's just a male shower at a gym, not a place to make porn or have sex or so.
    And I think it's good to be already comfterable being nude around others. I never saw my dad or brother nude and at gym it was the first time I saw nude males. And I learned there to be more comfterable with my body and nudity around others, and not being so uptight like my dad and brother were. So in this case I have to disagree with your point of view. It's just nudity, there isn't a need to keep them innocent.
    So if you want to go back to that gym, you should apologize yourself and be less uptight about minors being there.
     
  4. nakedone

    nakedone Banned

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    A young male needs to see older naked males, and he has the right to! What better place than a gym locker/shower area where it is completely natural for men to be naked, and, as in this case, where his father is right there.

    Any guy who is bothered by younger males looking at them has, in my opinion, a problem. Let's not make the younger guys feel guilty for looking!
     
  5. cyclistlarge

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    I don't see anything wrong with it. I've been swimming since i was like 7 and probably showering and changing in the locker room with older men (father included) since I was probably 9. wasn't ever a big deal. I think it probably leads guys to be more comfortable with themselves if anything. I wouldn't have paid it any attention. as for it being awkward to go somewhere you left on bad terms that's your call. I wouldn't sweat the guy with his kid. it's not even like he's an unattended minor.
     
  6. Wish-4-8

    Wish-4-8 Experimental Member

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  7. SparkyNYC

    SparkyNYC Experimental Member

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    i kinda agree with Bigger, the men at my gym are pretty predatory, its one thing if they are gawking at grown men, but true minors.......kinda yucky
     
  8. coachreffn

    coachreffn Expert Member

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    Equating a locker room with an R rated movie is just not the same thing. For most of us, our experience with locker rooms has had little or nothing to do with sex. I have seen a mild cruising very rarely. Nothing overt or really noticeable. That too is a part of life. He is there with his father and is not vulnerable in the least. Even if he were not, I don't think that anyone would allow a predatory male to be near a kid like that. WE have gotten far too sensitive about nudity among men and teen boys...
     
  9. B_jeepguy2

    B_jeepguy2 Banned

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    I can't see what is wrong with it. The kid was in there with his father. Hell when I was 7 years old my mom used to drop me off for swimming lessons at the local YMCA and I had to change in the men's locker room with the older men all by myself. Hell yeah I checked them out too!

    I guess if some pedophile had been in there he could have mollested me but I was such a horny little bastard (even back then) that I probably would have gotten off on it. LOL
     
    #9 B_jeepguy2, Mar 30, 2010
    Last edited: Mar 30, 2010
  10. SparkyNYC

    SparkyNYC Experimental Member

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    REALLY? you know the sauna at my gym has been shut down 3 times this year by the the NY health dept. its a VERY sexually charged place
     
  11. petite

    petite Expert Member

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    I don't think there' anything wrong with children seeing adult nudity. When I was a child my mother took me to bathhouses al the time and all of the women were nude. It was normal. I'm talking about actual bathouses, though, not something kinky or sexual, of course. I don't think there was anything wrong with it.
     
  12. dude252007

    dude252007 1st Like

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    it's not the children they are fine to see nudity and so on. its mature adults seeing children and taking action on that. children don't equate nudity with sex but adults do.
     
  13. nudeyorker

    nudeyorker Cherished Member

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    I have been in a locker room of some form or another since I was about five years old and subsequently have no issues with nudity.
    I think you should find a new place to go work out. That being said I belong to a gym that does not allow members or guests under the age of 18. I'm not being a hypocrite but I also go to a doctor and dentist that do not have patients under 18. As an adult I don't want to deal with kids in the gym or the waiting room. Go to a place where you are comfortable and happy.
     
  14. sgtrock

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    I think there is some confussion between nudity and sex... One doesn't predetermine the other, unfortunately us dumb Americans who fled to another country without religous restriction to become a nation of prudes.

    Went skinny dipping a lot as a kid never got arroused or witness another kid becoming so. Played sports through out school and was in the Marines, been nude in many a place and never affected me.
     
  15. ferfed

    ferfed Sexy Member

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    ^ yeah what i believe also
     
  16. TheRob

    TheRob Legendary Member

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    why does a young male need to see older naked men?
    that sounds just basically fucked up to me
     
  17. wolf1bear2

    wolf1bear2 Experimental Member

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    kids in Y is great. We have a man and his father oriental coming in every night. The father and son go nude (the kid is a special olympics kid), the other son wears shorts in the whirlpool. The kids, see, but, it doesn't effect them. Glad to be friends with the special olympian in Seattle. As a kid, I looked and was amazed, at people I saw naked, and they are in my naked bank, i couldn't take it anywhere at the time.
     
  18. cyclistlarge

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    alot of asian cultures have vastly different standards surrounding family nudity too. that could have something to do with that guy.
     
  19. 43698

    43698 Guest

    It may be uncompfortable for you but it is not your problem. Well maybe it is, your problem you can not allow yourself to be so fixated by it. Just go to another part of the locker room and move on. I go to the gym 4 days a week I was in the military and have spent much time naked around other males. I have been lifting weights since I was 10 and my father and I went to the gym together and used the locker room. There was other kids in there and in the gyms I go to now there are children in there from time to time as long as the kids are not of the oposite sex I do not care. I am not there to hang out or play around. I started dressing out in the locker room when I was a child. I agree that the father and son should not be hanging out like that but it is not my place to give a damn.
     
  20. TheRob

    TheRob Legendary Member

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    a gym is not so important that you should be uncomfortable to go there
    I mean pay me your gym fees and I'll throw a tack in your shoe and we can call it even
     
  21. dreamer20

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    The establishment, the son and his father have no problem with male nudity. The penis is just another part of the male body. Viewing another penis doesn't harm the young or the aged. I see no problem with him being there. However you present a problem as you transform into a hysterical, body phobic prude around young males who are permitted to be in a non-sexual setting with other nude males.

    You thought it best to resolve the problem you presented, and your own discomfort, by leaving the gym. If you are willing to discard your ridiculous age-discriminatory, prudish attitude and adopt the same sensible attitude towards male nudity possessed by the teenager and his parent , then you may return to your former gym.
     
    #21 dreamer20, Apr 2, 2010
    Last edited: Apr 2, 2010
  22. auto90403

    auto90403 Sexy Member

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    Huh?

    Let me answer what you think is a rhetorical question.

    If there's any place where it is appropriate for a child to see same-sex adult nudity, it is a locker room.

    It's a locker room, dude. Not the changing room in a sex club.

    If Dad feels comfortable taking his son into a locker room, why do you have a problem? Something's missing form your story.

    I accompanied my father to gyms and locker rooms when I was small. It was no big deal for anyone -- me, him, the other men.

    I've been a member of big city men's clubs when they still had hours where no bathing suits were required. Also no big deal if junior saw a sausage-fest of geriatric cocks parading around between pool and locker room.

    I'm just not getting why putatively sane, well-adjusted men see a same-sex locker room (normally a pretty unerotic environment) as not meaningfully different from the back room of a gay bar.

    Because if that's the case, you're going to have trouble functioning in this society.
     
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  23. LeeEJ

    LeeEJ Experimental Member

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    I agree -- if there is any place for someone to get used to the human body in all its shapes and forms, it's the gym locker room. That's where you discover that, yes, "everybody's got one," and everyone is just another human being.

    That being said, there's a thread over in another section that's loaded with lecherous comments. There's occasionally debate about whether sexual activity is ever proper in a gym (hint: IT ISN'T), but that doesn't stop some guys:
    http://www.lpsg.org/29448-open-locker-room-showers.html
     
  24. TheRob

    TheRob Legendary Member

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    ok but that dosn't answer the question of why there is a 'basic right' to see other people naked
     
  25. punk09

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    Here's a post from a while back:

    http://www.lpsg.org/29908-showing-off-mens-locker-room-11.html#post1388050

    last year i was staying at the ymca in nyc at 63d street. while there, i'd take my morning shower in the locker room to work off my morning wood in the steam room or sauna.

    after not having much luck hooking up, i cooled off in the showers, flaccid hanging at about 5". i've got nothing to sneeze at soft, but it promises no indication of the size and distinctive robustness at full erection.

    across from me, a father and son of about 11 y/o were showering together. both were pretty chubby, the father was facing me and the kid had his fat ass to me. dad was packing a slim thimble between his legs under his fat pad. the kid turned around and, granted he was prepubescent, also suffered from similar microphallus to his father.

    but the kid pointed at my softie and elbowed his dad to get him to take a look. not sure if the kid thought i was sporting wood or that he'd never seen a big soft dick, but it was wierd as shit to have a kid urge his dad to check out my relatively enormous penis.
     
  26. B_thickjohnny

    B_thickjohnny Banned

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    to the OP - don't ever come to Europe, especially Central or Eastern Europe. People bring their kids to the public pools and change together (little boys and little girls with their [single] fathers), swim and then shower together; all in the same male locker/wet areas. The showers in these public pools are huge. 20 guys at a time are standing shoulder to shoulder and NO ONE ever seems bothered by a little boy or little girl being there with dad. I've even seen a little boy, maybe 7 or 8, with an erection. Dad didn't say anything, no one said anything. I giggled to myself because I don't think anyone gave a fuck. And why should they? You really need to take a deep breath and understand that this can be normal if we all see it as normal.
     
    #26 B_thickjohnny, Apr 4, 2010
    Last edited: Apr 4, 2010
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  27. catman

    catman Cherished Member

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    Personally I am GLAD to see kids at the gym (working out). with the epic rise in childhood obesity, its exciting to see fathers taking time with their sons. At my gym there are two divorced fathers who bring their sons occasionally- they really spend time with them encouraging them to work out. As to the locker room, the fathers are nude around their sons- which is healthy- I do notice some of the other men keep a towel wrapped sometimes or. I am just me (ie I strip down and do what I need to do).

    One thing I like, he lets the 2 boys shower together in the handidcapped/bigger shower and the dads do keep an eye on them. I have also seen the other men be more respectful (granted my gym is fairly 'straight'- any activity I have seen go on is very random and secluded (ie in the sauna its not an 'orgy' atmosphere).

    I am very glad to see kids using the gym (granted I do not want unsupervised or 'bratty' kids- there is a day care).

    At other gyms of this chain I am not so sure (one is notorious for sex to the point they put a BIG window in the sauna), another branch has a t.v. area as you walk in (very 'posh') and not uncommon to see men sitting in the 2 chairs in various states watching sports scores or business news.

    Now IF You see anything inappropriate towards the children or vise versa (ie men staring at them or anything 'creepy' or, the children 'acting up' I would also say something to the parents. (we once had a son squirting soap everywhere and one of the guys said something, the dad took action immediately ("Billy, NO.")
     
  28. max90

    max90 Expert Member

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    I can't disagree more with you.
    In a way, I feel sorry for you. The way you look at the world is so narrow minded!

    It's about a boy who is going to the gym with his dad, what on earth is wrong with that? And yes, there are older guys walking around naked, but isn't that normal in a lockerroom? Should you keep a child away from the things in life that are normal?
    So you're going to wake your son up on his 18th birthday, saying "Well son, today is the day. You're old enough to enter the lockerroom! You can legaly see another man's penis today!" Pathetic.


    And the question isn't "why does a young male need so see older naked men?", the question is "why shouldn't he?". What's wrong with that?
    Why do some guys immediatly think that that's innapropriate? It says a lot about their own minds!


    But let me guess, you're either from the US or from the 18th century?


    And an off-topic question: Do you Americans still believe that you live in a 'free country' if there will be a law against minors in lockerrooms?
     
    #28 max90, Apr 4, 2010
    Last edited: Apr 4, 2010
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  29. max90

    max90 Expert Member

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    They don't need to see older naked men, but it should be normal. It should be possible!
     
  30. LeeEJ

    LeeEJ Experimental Member

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    Sometimes I think it's the same thing.

    Nope, although I think the "no minors" notion has a lot of root causes.
     
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