Need advice: healthy nudity or creepy exhibitionist?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by phallic intrigue, Jul 28, 2009.

  1. phallic intrigue

    phallic intrigue New Member

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    I don't post often. But I had a fairly awkward experience today, and it's easier to get advice from strangers before I talk to someone in person about it. :tongue: It indirectly involves a large penis, so this seemed like the right place to ask. Plus I know people here have a lot of different sexual backgrounds, and I think that will help.

    My mom asked me to take our old TV to one of her friends and set it up for them. She's a single mom and she has a son who's a few years younger than me. He's still in high school. When I knocked at their apartment, he answered the door in his boxers and said his mom wasn't home. I only see these people once a month, if that. So it seemed strange he felt that comfortable around me. I didn't really make anything of it though.

    He showed me where to put the TV, and started complaining about how hot it was because they didn't have the a/c on. Then he said he was going to get a drink. He came back in a couple minutes with a drink for both of us, but now he was naked. It really caught me off guard, and I probably stared longer than I should have. I'll admit, the guy was really well hung and he caught me looking. I tried to go back to hooking up the cables and I asked him what happened to his boxers. He just started complaining about the heat again and said he didn't know how I could stand wearing so "much" (I only had bball shorts and a Tshirt). I finished the job and left pretty quickly after that. But the situation gave me some weird vibes.

    I don't know the guy very well, and I have no idea if he's gay, str8 or bi. (Although I always assumed str8. Not trying to stereotype, but he seems to act pretty str8.) It was just weird that he had no problem being naked in front of me, and that it seemed like he wanted me to take my clothes off too. But maybe I'm reading into this too much. He had a very long flaccid penis, but I never noticed him get a boner. So maybe there was nothing sexual about the situation to him? Maybe he just wanted to show off? Or maybe he was hoping to see me for comparison?

    I guess what I'm wondering now is if I should talk to him about it? Or talk to his mom about it? Or maybe talk to my mom and have her talk to his mom since it might be awkward for me to describe it to his mom?

    If he's trying to use situations like this to explore his sexuality, I want to try to offer some advice (and let him know he needs to do this stuff with guys closer to his age). At the same time, if he really does just have an overly healthy body image, I don't want to make him self conscience.

    Maybe I'm crazy. But the situation didn't seem normal to me, and I feel like I can't just ignore it.
     
  2. turnstall

    turnstall New Member

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    Ignore it. How would you feel being a teen and someone had the hey johny its inappropriate to walk around with your dick out speach. Or even worse have your mom talk to you about it.
    He's a teenager let him figure himself out. They get past shit on their own all the time.
     
  3. dolfette

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    yup, ignore it.
     
  4. sexplease

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    I'll third that. Ignore
     
  5. MarkLondon

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    Take it as a compliment, don't involve the moms, and forget about it.

    If he was coming on to you, his strategy seems fairly sensible to me. You're not a complete stranger, but neither are you so close he risks outing himself to his peer group. He was on his home territory and has plausible deniability.

    It could be you seen as the creep if you blab about this.
     
    #5 MarkLondon, Jul 28, 2009
    Last edited: Jul 28, 2009
  6. 9inboy

    9inboy New Member

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    Straight guys rarely put htemselves naked in front of you for no reason. If he's well hung as you describe, that looks to me very much a hint at you getting naked.

    I probably owuld've asked for a drink, stay to watch tv for a while and strip naked too!
     
  7. jumbo747jet

    Staff Member Moderator Gold Member

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    If his nudity bothered you in some way, I feel that you should have had that known to him then and there. Now it's too late.
    Sounds to me like a cocky teen wanting to show off but going about it in a inappropriate manner
     
  8. Viking_UK

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    Forget about it.

    If the same thing happens again, you could maybe say/do something about it then, but if he's still in school, I'd recommend against getting involved in anything sexual with him.
     
  9. B_Bonky

    B_Bonky New Member

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    whip out your dick and piss on the couch.
     
  10. saabman

    saabman New Member

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    i wouldn't involve the moms. just ignore it. i walk around in my house with only boxers during the summer - so that part wasn't weird, but the totally naked part is - unless they are nudists and your family didn't know it. sounds like he was hoping u would get naked with him which means maybe he was hoping something would happen.
     
  11. mplsingleguy

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    sorry it was "a wierd vibe" as you described- probably because it caught you off guard. I'd say be flattered that he wanted to do that with you- (find some way to see it that way so you don't get all upset and bothered about it.) As a prior post stated, maybe he was just looking for a 'healthy bonding opportunity' like we all needed at that age- a little reinforcement. You said that it was a single-parent household... where's his male influence? Maybe he was looking for an 'older bro' to compare with...

    If you are cool with the kid, maybe you should attempt to see him more often and be that peer role model or buddy that he needs. You don't have to get naked to do that- but if you want to- take him to a health club and shoot some hoops- then hit the showers. Presto- appropriate nudity.

    If you don't plan on stepping up your visits or involvement with the family, then don't say a thing about it- just let it go with a laugh and let it go and enjoy the view- you know- 'for comparison sake'... sometimes our urges take us to wierd places and lead us to do risky or dumb things at that age.

    I hope you didn't insult his body or look to disgusted--- nudity isn't always appropriately timed, but it was his right to be naked in his own home at that time, with 'just the guys' hanging out.

    If it happens again, try some humor... "I've seen better butts on cows..." gentle teasing that acknowledges you have seen what he has to show you- but is not overtly specific or hurtful.
     
  12. D_Jared Padalicki

    D_Jared Padalicki Account Disabled

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    Don't talk with the mom!!!! Is there a man in the house, maybe he needed some "male advice"?
     
  13. dolfette

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    imo there's nothing flattering about inflicting nudity on people who've given no encouragement.
    it's creepy.
    but it was in his own home and he didn't toch or intimidate you.
     
  14. helgaleena

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    So much depends on whether this was a person of age of consent or not. Do you want to see more of him? It is up to you. It is not your place to teach him how to be a man unless you want to get much closer.
     
  15. B_Lightkeeper

    B_Lightkeeper New Member

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    I think I would take a few new batteries over for the remote and tell him those that were in it, might be old.

    It would be my luck though for the mom to answer the door and not him. LOL
     
  16. B_thickjohnny

    B_thickjohnny New Member

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    Answering the door in boxers is one thing but the naked part seems very inappropriate to me. If he wanted something more, I think there were other ways to express it then taking off his clothes. Maybe you need to go back and check the TV to be sure it's working. If he's alone again and pulls the same stunt you might want to ask if he and/or his family are nudists. If the answer is no, then you need to figure out what he's after. If it's yes, you can ask more about the lifestyle and maybe join him. But still be careful of his motives. Most nudists still have respect for people coming into their homes.
     
  17. B_R_I_E_F

    B_R_I_E_F Member

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    You've just encountered a horny teenager my friend. That's all. You missed your opportunity to address your issues with his nudity - it should have been in the moment.

    Let it go or spend more time with him and see if another situation presents itself. Don't be an ass, just be honest. Cool or not cool. It could be a respect issue. Leave moms out of it.
     
  18. Florida Boy

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    You do not indicate whether this kid a minor in your state are not. You did not indicate there were that many years different in your ages. How you respond will depend on his majority status.

    This was probably little more than an awkward bonding exercise. Be flattered he chose you. The opportunity to be alone with him again may never arise. Mentioning it to his or your mom is a no no. If the opportunity arises to make yourself available for additional funding, this time you will not be so weirded out and can respond with a more level head. Just see how it flows.
     
  19. phallic intrigue

    phallic intrigue New Member

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    Hey guys, I saw this thread back on page 1. So I thought I'd give you an update. I followed most of your advice, and I kept the moms out of it. I realize that was a stupid idea...I was just still a little weirded out when I wrote that. Anyway, I didn't wind up needing an excuse to confront him again, because they had a problem with the TV two days later and asked me to come fix it. (It was just a couple of switched cables, so I wonder if the kid did it himself just to get me back over there? But I might just be paranoid.)

    This time he was in boxer briefs. He didn't get naked this time, but it looked like he had a boner most of the time I was there. I tried to remind myself that a lot of guys, myself included, hang out in their underwear at home. And young guys, myself included, get a lot of random boners. But I still wanted to get a better idea what this kid might want from me, so I took one your guy's advice and asked him if he wanted to go to the gym with me sometime.

    I tried to be low-key. I've been working out regularly lately anyway, and I told him I wouldn't mind having someone to go with every now and then. At first he said he didn't know. But then he called me later and said he wanted to go that Friday. In the end, I wound up having to cancel because I got busy with work. So he's going to go with me sometime this week instead.

    My gym has communal showers, and I always shower when I'm done anyway. So I'll see if he decides to shower too. I'm not going to make him, but at least this way he gets a chance to experience nudity with me in an appropriate setting if he wants to. That's the key at this point: APPROPRIATE NUDITY. I'm all for nudity in the right situations (guys who do the towel dance look ridiculous to me), but there's a time and a place for it, ya know?

    Basically, I've decided that I'm cool with being an older brother figure for him if that's what he's after. I don't have any siblings, and our moms are really good friends. So it could be cool. But if he's looking for something more sexual, this will give me a chance to put a stop to that now. He's 16, and I have no interest in him sexually. He's a good looking guy, well hung too, but still too immature for me to be into him that way.

    I'll try to remember to post an update if we wind up hanging out this week. Thanks for your advice.
     
  20. Bottlebrush

    Bottlebrush New Member

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    It would be pretty bizarre behavior if he were 'straight'. As somebody has already said, a friendly acquaintance might seem like a safe person for him to explore his sexuality with. That doesn't mean you have to accept the offer. Telling his mother would be something akin to 'outing' the kid, and that's not really your job.
     
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