Sorry this isn't about a large penis...but here goes anyway. I have a male "friend" with whom I've gotten pretty close to over a period of 4 months now. He is 24 and I'm 29. Over time, I've come to realize that he and I come from entirely different backgrounds and have different sets of value systems. At this point in our relationship, our value systems are beginning to clash and I am becoming frustrated. I realize that our friendship isn't rooted in much of anything but superficial stuff (drinking, partying, talking about sexy women, etc.) Most recently, I told my friend that I could not take him seriously when he spoke about his girlfriend because so much of what he says about her displays her in a negative light. For example, he tells me that he doesn't think she is very intelligent, that certain conversations are too deep for her to understand. He always brags about the sexual things he asks her to do and how she complies. He even told me today about how she wants him to have anal sex with her. His girlfriend is a rich spoiled girl who buys him very expensive gifts and he accepts them even though he says he tells her not to buy them. Yet he complains to me that her parents are "so mean" to her that they to force her to buy her own things...such a bed sheets for her bed in her dorm room. I told him that I couldn't take him or her seriously if he was going to complain that she was being forced to buy $40 bed sheets when she was spending hundreds of dollars on him left and right. I told him that he should not accept anymore gifts from her. I also told him that it has gotten to the point where everything that he talks about regarding her deals with sex or money. He never talks about anything meaningful...like spirituality, family, etc. He says that noone talks about that stuff because its boring. What I'm realizing is that he is trying so hard to be a man but doesn't realize that you don't have to talk about sex, money, and rock and roll to be a man. I know his family situation has been a challenge for him. He hasn't had much of a male rold model nor has he ever been really close to a guy. His father left his mother when he was only 4. From what I've seen, his stepdad hasn't been very proactive in teaching him about manhood. My friend lives at home at 24 and from the times I've visited his family, they spend most of their time getting drunk together. To each his own, but it shows me that he is more of a buddy than a child. On several occasions, he has told me "I run my parent's house." He curses in front of his parents like it is no big deal and basically gets his way. I am in awe at the kinds of things he says in front of them. He has sex in their house all the time and has no shame in doing it. He is extremely spoiled. Recently, he came close to losing a job he just got because he couldn't make it to work on time for having to drop off his girlfriend every morning. I asked him why he couldn't just take her home at night so he could get some sleep, and he told me "because I love sex and I need to get some pu$$y" You get the idea. The reason I am so troubled is because I feel as though I cannot have a meaningful and healthly friendship with this person. Our value systems are so completely different. In addition, I am getting frustrated talking to him about anything other than sports, supermodels, and alcohol. I know for a fact that he doesn't have any other friends. If he isn't spending time with me, and up until his girlfriend just left to go to school, spending time with her, he is at home watching t.v. and drinking alcohol. He recently confided in me that something very deep is troubling him that he doesn't want to talk to anyone about. He has told me that he is not close to any of his brothers and that after only 4 months of knowing him, he considers me to be his best friend. In his words, I am his "idol" and he wants me to show him how to grow into someone successful. He has asked me to be a friend for him and to be a positive role model in his life. But it is so hard because there are times when I don't know whether to say those things that I feel in my heart are the right things to say and risk having him get mad or if I should just not take him seriously, don't say anything, and let him continue down the path he is going. When I do tell him what is on my mind, he says I'm too "serious" or "taking things the wrong way" or that I didn't understand what he was saying. He tries to belittle my sentiments and pretend like everything is really o.k. Then he always says "well from now on, I just won't tell you anything because I know that you take things the wrong way." Over the 4 months I've known him, I can see that I have had somewhat of a positive influence on him. I can also tell that looks up to me. But the problem is that it is draining me to have to continually bring up touchy subjects with him and having to hear him get angry at me. I feel as though I am rearing a 14 year old male. I don't want to turn my back on him, but at the same time I am tired of hearing the really immature and childish, self-centered things he has to say. What does a Chrisitian man do? by the way, I've asked him to go to church with me, but he wasn't very receptive to the idea so I left it alone.