need advice on picking up girls

B_Bjen2848

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my number one problem is getting them away from there friends so we can talk.


thats not a "problem"

if it seems hard to get a girl alone or in a one on one convo or if they seem hard to reach, or if they seem to disapear from you when you guys hang out ... they just aren't into you ... get away from your "friends" when trying to pick up girls, meet new women
 

shyguy01

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Heres some good advice!

1. If its not already cut, go get your hair cut and have a shave cos boosts your confidence.
2. Buy a nice fragrance, take your time to test and find out what smells good, ask the counter assistant for advice (if she's female) they know what sells well, and ask her opinion what girls of your age might like.
3. Look smart/casual, a new t shirt and underwear will do wonders.
4. Don't think about pulling all the time just have fun with your mates, if your enjoying yourself it will show and people will notice.
5. Make eye contact with girls across the room, it shows that your interested and says a million words, if they look away then look back at you, you got a good chance with her.
6. Smile :)
7. Have a few drinks but don't get too pissed! Offer to buy her one.
8. Get on the dancefloor! Mingle, If u got your eye on a girl, go over and dance, make small talk, chat about the surroundings/music, comment on how nice she looks, her clothes, hair, shoes etc.
9. Be nice. Not cocky or arrogant.
10. Good luck!
 

B_FleshPistolSG1

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this is what u do man walk up to you target greet her then her friends and make sure to give said target eyes conact smile if you got a nice smile and let her know u r checkin her out then turn and start a combo with one of her friends and yes she will get mad but its ok man ok now give your number to her friend then leave to get a drink if in bar. and if she want you she will either try to get number from friend or she will go to u and ask you her self so try that.
 

petite

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my number one problem is getting them away from there friends so we can talk.

This is good advice:
YouTube - Getting the girl away from her friends (Pick up artist)

Here's a tip. If you go out to a club and all the waitresses are hot, resist the temptation to hit on your waitress. They were all hired because they're attractive and they get hit on all night long, every night. They've heard every line and seen every move. Those are the women who are being paid to be there and they've been hired because they're attractive. You'll have better luck picking up one of the women who paid to get in. Those women are far more likely to actually be looking for men and interested in your attention. I always wondered why men seemed to think that the cocktail waitresses were there to find men rather than to get lots of tips. That really seems obvious to me, but I think that the reason why so many guys hit on the cocktail waitresses is because they don't have to approach them, the waitress comes up to them and starts the interaction, so they think that gives them an opportunity. Trust me, it's an opportunity that men try to use all night long! That isn't to say that you can't pick up a cocktail waitress. I was one and once I went out with a customer, but he really stood out from the pack. One tip I'll pass on regarding picking up cocktail waitresses, don't try to pick all of them up at once. You wouldn't believe the number of guys who go around the room and hit on every single cocktail waitress, sometimes within minutes. It only takes a few minutes to go around the room to get orders, then the cocktail waitresses go back to the drinks station to drop orders off or pick up drinks. What do you think the women talk about in those few minutes while they wait? Well, it's whatever interesting thing happened in the past 10 minutes. I can't tell you how many times one woman will point out a guy and say that he's hit on her and a few minutes later he'll hit on me, too, using the exact same line. That isn't attractive. Maybe those guys think that we'll compete with each other, and maybe other women would react that way, but me, I think he's failing with all the cocktail waitresses at once by doing that. I think those guys would have had better luck if they had only hit on one. I can't believe how many men don't seem to realize that the cocktail waitresses all talk to each other all night long.

I'd never heard of that before - it sounds horrible! I guarantee it wouldn't work with me, and I'm pretty sure my friends wouldn't appreciate it either.

We actually ended up getting into a discussion about it last night. It seems like some people interpret "negging" as normal flirtatious teasing and there's nothing at all wrong with that at all. In fact, if you're funny, then that's an asset. The problem with interpreting negging as teasing is that it doesn't fit with the supposed psychology of negging which is supposed to be a subtle attack on a woman's ego in order to bring her down a peg. Flirtatious teasing doesn't do that, it's supposed to be lighthearted and humorous and the initial jab is supposed to encourage the woman to jab back, you tease me and I tease you back, and now we're verbally jousting in a fun way. I encourage and recommend teasing, not negging, which seems manipulative and calculating in a slimey way, and can backfire hard, which is one of the main problems with a lot of PUA strategies.

The Pickup Artist tv show was actually quite fun to watch. VH-1 did a good job of hiding most of the chauvinistic stuff and making it enjoyable to watch. They found a bunch of hopelessly geeky and shy guys, guys who have never had girlfriends and have no hope of getting dates, and they helped them. The fact that the guys were (mostly) sweet and smart and just wanted to find love and companionship made it easy to root for them. If it had been a show about men who wanted to learn how to manipulate people and their emotions well enough so that they could get more sex, then it would have been too disgusting to watch.

The language of PUA is just so gross, the stuff that VH-1 wisely avoided showing, I mean. I'm sympathetic towards men who are lonely and who have a genuine interest in finding love or companionship and who have a hard time with connecting with women and who are seeking help. I have no problem with that desire or motivation. It's some of the attitudes presented by PUA that are just so icky. Some of the language used by PUA is just so demeaning and insulting sometimes that it's stomach churning. Take the phrase used to indicate that a woman is attracted to you. They call it the "doggy dinner bowl" look, or DDB. Really? That's the best descriptor to use? Comparing a woman's look of desire with a dog about to be fed? That pretty much sums up the entire problem, that attitude towards another human being, treating someone as less than human just because you desire sex.

A lot of the techniques can be genuinely useful for learning about normal social interactions and might possibly help someone who is socially awkward, but often the language used to describe the PUA version of those same techniques makes "seduction" so calculated as to make it all crass and slimey, turning men into cruel and heartless predators and making women into objects and victims. It all depends on what a man does with it, of course, whether a man hurts a lot of people with it or not.
 
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syphon80

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This is good advice:
YouTube - Getting the girl away from her friends (Pick up artist)

Here's a tip. If you go out to a club and all the waitresses are hot, resist the temptation to hit on your waitress. They were all hired because they're attractive and they get hit on all night long, every night. They've heard every line and seen every move. Those are the women who are being paid to be there and they've been hired because they're attractive. You'll have better luck picking up one of the women who paid to get in. Those women are far more likely to actually be looking for men and interested in your attention. I always wondered why men seemed to think that the cocktail waitresses were there to find men rather than to get lots of tips. That really seems obvious to me, but I think that the reason why so many guys hit on the cocktail waitresses is because they don't have to approach them, the waitress comes up to them and starts the interaction, so they think that gives them an opportunity. Trust me, it's an opportunity that men try to use all night long! That isn't to say that you can't pick up a cocktail waitress. I was one and once I went out with a customer, but he really stood out from the pack. One tip I'll pass on regarding picking up cocktail waitresses, don't try to pick all of them up at once. You wouldn't believe the number of guys who go around the room and hit on every single cocktail waitress, sometimes within minutes. It only takes a few minutes to go around the room to get orders, then the cocktail waitresses go back to the drinks station to drop orders off or pick up drinks. What do you think the women talk about in those few minutes while they wait? Well, it's whatever interesting thing happened in the past 10 minutes. I can't tell you how many times one woman will point out a guy and say that he's hit on her and a few minutes later he'll hit on me, too, using the exact same line. That isn't attractive. Maybe those guys think that we'll compete with each other, and maybe other women would react that way, but me, I think he's failing with all the cocktail waitresses at once by doing that. I think those guys would have had better luck if they had only hit on one. I can't believe how many men don't seem to realize that the cocktail waitresses all talk to each other all night long.



We actually ended up getting into a discussion about it last night. It seems like some people interpret "negging" as normal flirtatious teasing and there's nothing at all wrong with that at all. In fact, if you're funny, then that's an asset. The problem with interpreting negging as teasing is that it doesn't fit with the supposed psychology of negging which is supposed to be a subtle attack on a woman's ego in order to bring her down a peg. Flirtatious teasing doesn't do that, it's supposed to be lighthearted and humorous and the initial jab is supposed to encourage the woman to jab back, you tease me and I tease you back, and now we're verbally jousting in a fun way. I encourage and recommend teasing, not negging, which seems manipulative and calculating in a slimey way, and can backfire hard, which is one of the main problems with a lot of PUA strategies.

The Pickup Artist tv show was actually quite fun to watch. VH-1 did a good job of hiding most of the chauvinistic stuff and making it enjoyable to watch. They found a bunch of hopelessly geeky and shy guys, guys who have never had girlfriends and have no hope of getting dates, and they helped them. The fact that the guys were (mostly) sweet and smart and just wanted to find love and companionship made it easy to root for them. If it had been a show about men who wanted to learn how to manipulate people and their emotions well enough so that they could get more sex, then it would have been too disgusting to watch.

The language of PUA is just so gross, the stuff that VH-1 wisely avoided showing, I mean. I'm sympathetic towards men who are lonely and who have a genuine interest in finding love or companionship and who have a hard time with connecting with women and who are seeking help. I have no problem with that desire or motivation. It's some of the attitudes presented by PUA that are just so icky. Some of the language used by PUA is just so demeaning and insulting sometimes that it's stomach churning. Take the phrase used to indicate that a woman is attracted to you. They call it the "doggy dinner bowl" look, or DDB. Really? That's the best descriptor to use? Comparing a woman's look of desire with a dog about to be fed? That pretty much sums up the entire problem, that attitude towards another human being, treating someone as less than human just because you desire sex.

A lot of the techniques can be genuinely useful for learning about normal social interactions and might possibly help someone who is socially awkward, but often the language used to describe the PUA version of those same techniques makes "seduction" so calculated as to make it all crass and slimey, turning men into cruel and heartless predators and making women into objects and victims. It all depends on what a man does with it, of course, whether a man hurts a lot of people with it or not.

Thats the great thing about these techniques, You learn how to flip her attraction switches.. "the same way us (hetero-men) feel an automatic overwhelming attraction towards any SI swimsuit model. She turns on all our attraction switches, it is possible to make women feel the exact same way towards us if we could devis a clever method for systematically turning on all her attraction switches" (Mystery)

Attraction is not a choice..PUA's are not seducers, we create attraction.

I can say it is definately not snake oil. Before starting this I had a hard time just approaching women, I did but if I went out I probably talked to 1 or 2 girls and if I got rejected it was a blow to my ego.

Now I can comfortably talk to any female with little hesitation and end up having great nights out. Its like having Social superpowers.


@ Gecko4lif, haha I also solo it up on occasion, its pretty tough .. at least with a wing you can lean back on someone if the night is rough, lol..
 

petite

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Thats the great thing about these techniques, You learn how to flip her attraction switches.. "the same way us (hetero-men) feel an automatic overwhelming attraction towards any SI swimsuit model. She turns on all our attraction switches, it is possible to make women feel the exact same way towards us if we could devis a clever method for systematically turning on all her attraction switches" (Mystery)

Attraction is not a choice..PUA's are not seducers, we create attraction.

I can say it is definately not snake oil. Before starting this I had a hard time just approaching women, I did but if I went out I probably talked to 1 or 2 girls and if I got rejected it was a blow to my ego.

Now I can comfortably talk to any female with little hesitation and end up having great nights out. Its like having Social superpowers.


@ Gecko4lif, haha I also solo it up on occasion, its pretty tough .. at least with a wing you can lean back on someone if the night is rough, lol..

Well, I'm glad that it works for you. You seem to be very happy with it. Please understand that I take such advice with a grain of salt, but I'm skeptical in general about things like this. As I said, I think that some of the advice is very good and can help people who need more social skills, as it appears to have helped you get over your fear of rejection, which is a very good thing in my opinion. However, I don't think that my criticisms about how some of the PUA gurus talk about women are unwarranted.
 

syphon80

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Well, I'm glad that it works for you. You seem to be very happy with it. Please understand that I take such advice with a grain of salt, but I'm skeptical in general about things like this. As I said, I think that some of the advice is very good and can help people who need more social skills, as it appears to have helped you get over your fear of rejection, which is a very good thing in my opinion. However, I don't think that my criticisms about how some of the PUA gurus talk about women are unwarranted.

I was cynical about this stuff as well, I learned about it pre-VH-1 show. I believe if OP reads the material he doesnt have to master the material, it will help in get in the door for finding a relationship or whatever hes looking for.

Yes its true, some guys use it to manipulate women and their emotions...and well frankly to get laid.. And definately agree that some gurus do cross the line in the way they talk to women.
 

syphon80

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Crash and burn all night, but it only takes the one to make things worth it. Just know that they laugh at you, act bitchy , blow you off, say mean sh*t..probably cause theyve had a bad day and arent trying to hear anything from anyone.. Dont take it personal.

Good luck man
 

lafever

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im sick of getting turned down, i need some advice, how to you guys pick up chicks?
First, stop calling them chicks, give them some respect as they're great at avoiding you.
Next I'd say 98% Is just confidence, the rest Is eye contact.
You must get some type of eye contact, without this your invisible to them.
Next, continue casual eye contact to see If she's Interested, you'll know If she's interested because she'll be checking you out as well.
If this contiues first make sure your not fixing to get blindsided by a significant other.
Most women have wondering eyes but only when their significant other Is busy.
Now that you know you've both been checking each other out and your not going to wake up with one or both of your eyes swollen shut, make your move.
You do this by just saying hi, watch for eye contact, If she looks away at this point she's not into you.
If she can't take her eyes of you, then you just won the lottery, just don't do anything stupid.
At this point the less you say the better, a women Is always intrigued by a man who Is a mystery, but let her know too much and she's gone.
The last thing she wants to find out Is that your not experienced, this Is a big turnoff for women as they like a man who knows what he's doing.
So act as If you know what your doing and suggest that you both go somewhere else, remember confidence Is 98%, so act confident but don't be overbearing.
Women hate being told what to do so don't push It, don't repeat yourself unless she asks.
If she will agree, your almost there.
The rest Is on you, have fun but make sure not to talk about religion, money or politics unless she asks.
And last but not least, whatever you do don't talk about any ex-girlfriends, If you do don't be shocked If she cuts the date short. :cool:
 
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D_Rosalind Mussell

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There is no magic answer for this. I agree with Riven that a lot of women are put off by the whole "pick up" mindset because it implies that 1) she's easy to manipulate and 2) he needs pick up techniques because he's incapable of holding a normal conversation. Of course, there are women that want to be picked up also so if that's what you're looking for the PUA route is the way to go. If you are looking for something more meaningful you should start socializing with people who share your interests. The most important thing is to be yourself. Facades don't help anyone in relationships.
 

B_Bjen2848

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i try to talk to girls, but after getting laughed at 2 or 3 times in an hour its pretty hard to keep trying...


you'll never get anywhere if you're afraid you will get rejected or laughed at, if you get rejected, oh well, on to the next one, just think to yourself "hey, she just blew an oppratunity of a life time to get to know me" once you think highly of yourself and project confidence, people will want to be around you.

hold yourself to high standards

if you have problems talking to a women, that can be easily fixed, just focus the convo on the thing all women like talking about the most ... themself ... dont speak too much because that is unattractive, let her work to get to know you ... and always keep yourself available to new women until you are in a committed relationship, because jealousy can work in your favor very well, if you get a girls number, and hen 30 minutes later she sees you talking to someone else, that will only spark her interest because now she has competition

you're getting a lot of good advice, but the number 1 thing you need is confidence, you will never get girls if you come off as weak or indecisive etc.
 

lafever

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ok btw, i dont normally call them "chicks" i just said that because i needed another word for girls
We know, just remember that anytime you start a thread on lpsg that involves women they're gonna read It, keep that In mind and try not to light any more fires.
You've only got a total of 9 posts so your still on a learning curve, alot of us here know that and are aware that you're still learnig lpsg etiquette. :cool:
 
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