Need Advice - Wife may be a Size Queen?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by tony85, May 11, 2011.

  1. tony85

    tony85 New Member

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    I am new to this forum, so I hope I post to the right section and sorry for the long post.

    First let me say that I am very happily married. My wife is my life and I wouldn't want to do anything that would jeopardize our marriage.

    I have had some concerns about our sex life lately though. It just hasn't been that great, but we are trying to make things better. We have been married for 7 years and never had even as much of a major argument. And as I have tried to think of new things to spice things up I have had my wife open up more and more about her fantasies, desires, etc. I am not jealous AT ALL about her past experiences and her fantasies, or about size, which is starting to come up more and more lately and is quite arousing to hear her talk about things like that. But I am beginning to think that she is somewhat of a "size queen." She has been having a recurring fantasy that a guy who is quite a bit thicker is about to enter her and she is very excited and anxious for him to put it in. She has had many fantasies like that, or ones relating to well endowed guys and she wakes up VERY aroused, especially after seeing the shower scene in the Sex and the City movie. I have also noticed her checking out guys “packages”, which is kind of a turn on actually. She just laughs when I catch her. I usually tease her about it but that’s it. She is honest and does tell me when she notices after I catch her. It doesn’t bother me at all.

    I am not huge by any means, or small. I am about upper average I guess at 7 1/4" x 5 1/2". But my wife has had quite a few experiences with a lot smaller AND bigger (all estimates by wife 8 1/2" x 6 3/4", 9"x6 1/2" and 8"x5") and on one occasion a very well endowed guy, about 10" x 7 1/2"+. She talks often about how much she loved giving him oral sex. She said her hand would only make a large "C" when she tried to put her hand around it since she couldn't wrap her fingers and would be a struggle to get the head in her mouth. She says the bigger the better for oral and really liked it. In actuality she LOVES giving oral sex. She says she loves it and she admits that she looks forward to doing it. She always has for some reason. I think she has some sort of fetish. Not sure, but it’s fine with me.

    She did not however like intercourse with larger ones and has told me numerous times that I am almost too long. She said she has never had an OG through intercourse before me. She is pretty honest about a lot of things, sometimes brutally so I do think she is being honest and I love and appreciate her for that, even if it does sting for a moment.

    I have somewhat of an upward curve that has worked well with past girlfriends, especially my last one who would have multiple OG's every time. But my wife doesn't seem to react like my other girlfriends. She does have OG's, just not every time, or near as often. She does say sometimes when in the heat of the moment that she would like to experience one that is thicker, but knows that she can't because she wouldn't want to cheat. I have mentioned extensions, etc., but most of them also add length, which she is NOT into. But at this point we have mostly included fantasy talk and role play to spice things up.

    Lately however she said some things that caught me off guard. First she asked if one of my friends was bigger than me. I slipped out once about a bachelor party incident where I found out that he was well endowed. But when she asked, I though Hmmm, how do I answer that, or do I answer? He is actually, much longer. He's not much thicker if any but about 2" longer. It was actually a turn on when she asked, but I didn't really answer. She is not attracted to him in any way but she asks more now though during our talks, so I may tell her. No biggie I guess, because she's not really into length. I'll let her fantasize if she wants. It's kind of hot that she wonders. I don't think she would ever cheat, she's just not that type. Plus we are older, I'm 40 and she's 39 and we spent a long time trying to find something as good as what we have. She wouldn't want to ruin that and says that often.

    I see she is starting to open up more. I like it actually. Then she said that when she has given oral sex before, she didn’t even feel like it was intimate or emotional sex in any way. It was more of a challenge and sexy fun thing to do, but never really had any emotional attachment to anyone after doing that. She has done that A LOT more than intercourse, with a LOT more guys, many much bigger than me. She said she could easily give a guy oral sex without it even affecting her emotionally. Hmmm? That was interesting for her to say that.

    She has also been having fantasies about giving a stranger oral sex, sometimes women and sometimes very well endowed men. She is very attractive 5’ 3” 125 and built nicely 36 C/D and it is sexy just to think of her with strangers.

    I was reading on a relationship site where someone suggested going to an “erotic masquerade” to watch others (she liked that idea) or even more adventurous to have her try something called a “glory hole”. A guy took his wife to somewhere in Las Vegas and had it setup for a well endowed guy that he prescreened to show up, never seeing him or his wife, and she gave him oral sex behind a wall. Is this something I should even consider? I want my wife to be happy, and the more she is opening up, the more I am finding that she is a very sexual and adventurous person. She likes that I don’t mind her telling me and that I don’t get jealous like her past boyfriends. On occasion recently during sex I have mentioned that I would have loved to see her do her thing with a past “big” boyfriend or stranger and she actually gets VERY aroused.

    I would appreciate any input. I really don’t want to jeopardize my marriage.
     
    #1 tony85, May 11, 2011
    Last edited: May 11, 2011
  2. Madison_Thick

    Madison_Thick New Member

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    Just the fact that you and she are opening up more to each other is a positive thing and is no doubt a big turn on for BOTH of you.

    Where you go with this is really up to you. Alot of men fear their wives fucking others because they are scared to lose them. However, with the divorce rate at 50%, the chances are that a woman at some point in her marriage is probably going to fuck a few other guys anyways (definitely not all women are like that, but many are) or even more likely are going to be secretly desiring someone different most of the time they are with their spouse.

    I think it is better to be open about everything and see where it takes you. The fact that she gets very aroused when you talk about past boyfriends during sex is a sign that if she ever does get to fuck others she is going to be very fun for you to fuck afterwords
     
  3. D_Dale_Doe

    D_Dale_Doe New Member

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    You mentioned extensions. I have a cyberskin sleeve that me and my wife use sometimes. It adds about an inch to my girth, but no length. The head of your penis is still exposed. We both like it a lot. I got it from Adam & Eve. Might be a good way to explore without involving anyone else.
     
  4. Madison_Thick

    Madison_Thick New Member

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    Yeah. These things are usually best taken in steps, moreso than just jumping into your wife being banged by some random guy with a huge cock. Extensions or thick dildos are a good first step. A thick dildo inside of her while she sucks your dick will no doubt turn her on (but then be prepared for her wanting a 3some with another guy!)
     
  5. AlphaMale

    Verified Gold Member

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    Something seems fishy about this post to me... maybe a latent SPH thing?

    ==

    Anyway, if you're serious then at your size you are much larger than what would be called "upper average" (you're 1/2" thicker and only 3/4" shorter than someone who you/your wife said was "bigger").

    Secondly, your wife is apparently great at estimating sizes since she can tell the difference between halves and quarters of inches for both length and girth.

    Lastly, 10" x 'whatever' is practically non existant. Not saying she's a liar per se, but like I've stated on multiple threads before... nearly every woman who wants to be "in control" of a relationship has had some mysterious huge-cocked lover (according to them). No matter how big you are, they have had had bigger! It's just a way for them to keep your ego in check and also something that they know you probably want do any investigation into to find out if they are telling the truth or not.
     
  6. tony85

    tony85 New Member

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    SPH??? Yes, I am very serious. Good points though, I always considered that when she would talk about their size. Maybe some way of controlling me, but it never bothered me. She talked about A LOT. When we were first dating she mentioned it quite a bit in conversation and that many people she dated before me were very offended or jealous. She's just that kind of person. Very sweet but brutally honest. So much so that I am careful what I ask an opinion on. Sex stuff doesn't bother me too much though, but something related to my family or work may.

    I don't think the measurements are "exact", she's not an engineer with a micrometer. ;) She'd just point out that some where only slightly bigger maybe a half inch or so, some smaller and some "can of pepsi" huge where intercourse wasn't even possible in her opinion. We were discussing her past sexual experiences in detail and she was willing to talk about anything once she got going...I am learning she has a bit of a wild streak.

    She has always been pretty honest and a great wife, and never said that she desired anyone else. Only fantasy role playing stuff, but this is mostly my thoughts and questions. She even reinforces her feelings for me, so I don't think its a control thing. I am just picking up on a few things lately. I don't think she wants another man as a life mate / lover, but I do think she has a serious fetish.

    Thanks for the input though.

    ==== Also mfrankb - thanks for the info, I didn't know such a think existed. I will look into that.

    ==== Also thanks for the advice Madison_Thick
     
  7. rhonnie14

    rhonnie14 New Member

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    I have to agree with AlphaMale. I'm the same size as tony85 and I know that I'm bigger then "upper average". No way his wife has come into contact with that many extremely-endowed guys considering how rare those sizes are. Then again, I guess she just has had a wild past.
     
  8. MarkLondon

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    Ahem. Gay man's input here. Real life average is 5", which most guys call 6". If you actually measured to get that .25 on your 7" then you're large. It's what most men would call 8" and most women 9". I suspect your wife has sensed your own size-queenness and is using it to turn you on. Keep it as a fantasy by all means, but please beware of small penis syndrome which is as capable of destroying a straight man's confidence as anorexia is a woman's. Gay men are not so suseptical to that because we encounter penises in all their glorious variety in real life.
     
  9. AlphaMale

    Verified Gold Member

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    Right, no one is going to look at your dick and think "average" anything! :wink:

    ==

    To the OP, yeah sounds to me like it's a control thing... although of course that's from the outside looking in. You would know best if you got that kind of a vibe from what she says and does. Also, like you said it never really bothered you anyway... so if that was her plan it's not working very well! :tongue:

    However, the fact she brings it up without being asked and also that it was a topic of conversation with old bfs to the extent of annoyance/jealousy is kind of a red flag to me. A girl's got to know that is going to be a touchy subject with most guys.

    Also, wild past or not, that doesn't really guarantee that she's actually enountered lots of larger guys. Could be she does in fact use it as a control/ego check thing, got lucky and met lots of endowed guys, or that she just likes to express her fantasies.
     
    #9 AlphaMale, May 11, 2011
    Last edited: May 11, 2011
  10. tony85

    tony85 New Member

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    I do appreciate the input. I really don't think it is a control thing, but it vary well could be, I just haven't seen any other indication. We have been together for some time and we get along very well and rarely if ever have even the slightest argument. Besides our jobs, we spend most of our time together, I am just trying to figure out what to do next to keep her happy, and make things better sexually speaking. I think I am going to opt for extensions, toys and such and just keep the rest a fantasy. It sounds like I may be playing with fire if I take it too far.

    You have to realize this has been going on for years, only recently have I been questioning or trying to understand or do something. I actually found out about this site because I did a google search for "wife"+"fantasy"+"large penis" because she was having well hung guy fantasies a lot more often lately and wanting to talk about it.

    For example, this is how it happened early on. We are grocery shopping early in our dating and she grabs a roll of cookie dough like she is going to suck it and says with a dirty look brings back memories or something like that and laughs. Then she says too bad he was a bigger dick than the size of his dick. Then we discuss. I didn't bring up the issue first. She just kept saying things like that, or grab a can of coke, banana or cucumber and smirk, then I would say jokingly "no way", she couldn't handle it. She then says she can and has, and the conversation ensues. Maybe she was lying, but she doesn't come across as dishonest in any other area of her life so I would have to give her the benefit of the doubt. Mind you that a lot of this was before we even had any sexual contact. Just playful banter and open conversation while dating. It was't just her, I also opened up quite a bit about past experiences. It's just that there was an overwhelming common theme to hers. Over the years it continued.

    As far as being a red flag or touchy subject for other guys, more than anything, I don't think she has much of a "filter" when she is going to say something or try to joke around. She just says it unfiltered. But that is also what I love about her. I know I am getting un altered unfiltered feedback. I just know to be careful what I ask.

    And as far as my size, I was saying upper average because my understanding is that I am in the upper middle average of my wife's former boyfriends. I am OK with that and OK with what I've got, but I am also under no illusion that there aren't some way bigger dudes out there and she, with her fetish or whatever found a way to weed most of the little guys out. Believe me, the way she talks, if you are at all self conscious, you're probably not going to want to go very far, and if you do get passed it you are likely packing something. She is mostly being playful with the banter, it's just that a lot of guys are understandably very self conscious about that.

    I do admit to being turned on by the fact that they are HER fantasies more than the content of them and a part of me would love to see her pleased in a HUGE way by some stranger. I can't control what does it for her, she just happens to fantasize about big dick guys. Again, because I care for her I think it would be incredible to see her experience a bone shattering climax in her perfect fantasy even if it wasn't with me, but, I am realizing that it's a scary road to go down. She also says that she fantasizes about going down on a "hot chick" and them returning the favor. I would LOVE to see that too, but again...scary road.

    Again thanks everyone for the input.
     
  11. hunglarge8

    hunglarge8 New Member

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    The threesome with big cocked male scene is more pervasive than you realize. I have been involved in several of them. Usually they are driven by the males, but sometimes they are designed solely for the women. You should offer to help set one up. She may not believe you so find some candidates and let her pick one. Or if you aren't hardcore enough start with one on webcam and see where it goes.

    If she is going on fantasizing about this she will probably cum hard, unless you are a distraction. Mostly that because this is kinky stuff, more than anything. Therefore if you set one up, throw away all the jealousy and let her enjoy it. Then by all means jump on her yourself.
     
  12. Pierced1953

    Pierced1953 New Member

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    I think you really like the idea and seems she does too. I say go with the big cock stranger. She sucks his cock and you fuck her, your both satisfied. My gf isn't interested in having a bigger one inside her either, but seems to want to see a huge cock in person. She's also very oral, just learned to take all mine. I'm pretty sure she soon want to try a big one. This is just sex as were very into each other and were sure from what we've already done with other guys that it won't ruin our relationship.

    Make sure that when you enter the wilderness you both can read the compass.
     
  13. tony85

    tony85 New Member

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    We talked about this just last night. She said she is definitely NOT into doing it. She said it nicely and in a concerned manner. She said it would mess up our relationship, even though the idea is arousing. So I was going to drop it. No biggie. This has been her thing for quite a while, so I just took it a little further to see what she wanted to do if I would "let her." So that was that. I definitely don't want to push the issue at all. If all she wants is me, I am MORE than fine with that.

    I think she is really sexual and does have a bit of a wild side and is afraid what would come out of her if she were allowed to, as you say, "enter the wilderness." She even commented what if she liked it so much that she wanted to do it all the time, that wouldn't be good for us. I assume she was talking about sex with a well endowed guy. I really think that if she let go and was sucking off some well endowed guy, if the opportunity was there she would take it further even though she says that she just wants to give oral, especially as her inhibitions eased up. She can really let go when she's into it. I am pretty sure she would like it, especially since it has been a fantasy of hers for some time. I am sure that's what she is afraid of.

    Then she threw out "I might do it if everyone was masked, yeah I am pretty sure I would if it was a very erotic setting like the movie Eyes Wide Shut, that was hot." Her EXACT words. Hmm, that was interesting, now I am confused. I let it go again though.

    I am fine keeping it a fantasy. The whole Erotic Masquerade was something she brought up before on numerous occasions so I think if she came across some well endowed ripped guy in a mask, it would be go time for her! ;)

    Seriously though, I really think it's all just going to be a fantasy for us at this point. She is becoming very guarded the more we talk now and has made some good points about her morality, potential disease, pandora's box, etc. Plus, added to that the feedback I received on this forum, it's enough to cause me to have some serious doubts.
     
  14. Madison_Thick

    Madison_Thick New Member

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    Reading between the lines: she would love to fuck lots of guys with big dicks, but she thinks it will mess up your relationship. She values your relationship and what the two of you have more than she values being able to fuck lots of well hung men, but that doesn't lessen her desire for other men.

    And you know what that makes her: a normal, healthy, human female
     
  15. D_Crystallized Ginger

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    loving only big dicks isn't an "healthy" and natural behaviour in my humble opinion... a relationship isn't based upon a big dick and if she wants to fuck big dick then you have to break up with her... let her to enjoy her life with big dicks in her loose cunt and exit this lame relationship you have got...
     
  16. D_Kitten_Kaboodle

    D_Kitten_Kaboodle Account Disabled

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    Maybe this will help. I'd be happy to discuss this through PM's if you are curious...

    http://www.lpsg.org/blogs/fancypants/history-of-me-6934/


    P.S. I adore Mystic Wolf and usually agree with him, but in my opinion, I think he got this one wrong.

    Depends on how strong your relationship is (emotionally); whether or not you allow jealousy to be a part of it; and if you are both totally honest with one another (thus total trust)...... I see no need to throw away something that is working so well for both of you...
     
    #16 D_Kitten_Kaboodle, May 12, 2011
    Last edited: May 12, 2011
  17. VeryHung

    VeryHung New Member

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    Have you tried simply asking her, if she is a size queen? Once you have that answer, you can proceed, as needed.
     
  18. D_Balls Cezanne

    D_Balls Cezanne Account Disabled

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    I have to agree with the adorable FancyPants on this score. Tread carefully.
     
  19. VernalTiger

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    rhonnie - his wife is 39. She probably has over 20 years of sexual experience under her belt. It's perfectly feasible that she has had at least 3 partners of a significant size. And even if men of that size are uncommon, I wouldn't go so far as to say "rare". After all, two of the four sizes mentioned in the OP's first post aren't even outrageously large.

    Tony85 - it sounds like the two of you have this scenario pretty well under control. I'm sure you'll come to some kind of happy medium. Your communication is laudable, and I hope that you can continue in this vein for a long time. This situation may open your marriage to a whole new level.
     
  20. Incocknito

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    I agree with Alpha Male. Unless you have measured wrong then you are quite a bit above average. So much so that only a "few" of her lovers would be bigger than you. Not "many" as you state. I think you are deluding yourself and you probably get turned on thinking that you are smaller than her other lovers.

    You most likely are not. Also if she isn't into having large cocks in her then she wouldn't want sex with a big guy. I knew a girl who loved talking about big cocks, fantasising about being fucked by myself and my friend who is also big (maybe bigger than me).

    But when we would have sex she would wince and tighten up when I wasn't even half way in. She even admitted she prefers smaller guys. So fantasies are fantasies, you may find the reality is different.

    For the good of your relationship I suggest just using a cyberskin, maybe fisting or fingering. How many fingers can she take? Unless she can take four fingers I would say she is not built for big cocks.

    And most likely it is all talk/fantasy. Keep it that way, or try other adventurous things. Its not all about the size of your cock.

    Try outdoor sex, filming each other, look into it...
     
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