gecko0: I have loved a girl for the longest time. When i say a long time i mean around 15 years and we are oly 19. We have always been friends. She is the only thing that makes me afraid. I am afraid of her getting hurt or in trouble. I had always said that o would die for her if necessary. I know that may sound corny but that was the way i felt.I have told her how i have felt many times and only get mixed signals. For instance, she says we can only be friends then next she talks about being with me, like marriage. Over the past 3 years she is completely different. At college she is holding onto me but seeing lots of other guys and lieing to me about it. Of course, i am not surprised because she knows my jelousy. And i do expect her to see other guys and find out what they are like. However, my concern is that she is having sex with a majority of these guys. Now i have trouble accepting this because i was waiting for her and now i feel i cannot live with the things she has done. I wish i could let her go, but she haunts my dreams. Plus we have a history. For the past couple of months without her around i fear myself because i am not afraid of anything other than myself. I have a dilemna. I cannot go on without her, yet i cannot accept seeing her with another guy. And everytime i see her i will have feelings. I have met many girls but none can understand me as she does. So i am not attracted to any because of that, and a lot of them are more beautiful. So any advice would be helpful. Half of the help is being able to express myself, so thank you.