Need Advice

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Russ311, Aug 5, 2011.

  1. Russ311

    Verified Gold Member

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    Recently I began a relationship with a guy that I have been friends with for a long time. We went to school together and have been fooling around since high school. Both of us are very masculine and nobody would suspect a thing is going on. My problem is telling our friends. We want this to work and last, and neither of us has dated a guy before. How do we tell our friends and do we tell them?
     
  2. SR_Pepe Le Pube

    SR_Pepe Le Pube New Member

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    well i did lose friends when i came out. it is the honest truth. start by telling someone you trust like your parents or sibling. then close friends and then everyone. it is easier after telling someone but realize, you will lose friends. or, at least i did.
     
  3. tater_tot_man

    tater_tot_man New Member

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    don't put you or him in a position either of you is uncomfortable in. You don't have to rush out with your high school sweet heart with rainbows shooting out of your ass, but make it clear that you won't allow yourself to be relegated to the Closet like last years Yves St Laurent loafers either.

    Nothing ruins a relationship faster than a closet case. But at least you'll get to be on the receiving end when said denied feelings are pent up to be released in the form of a cum shot.
     
  4. erratic

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    First off, congratulations to the both of you for finding each other, and being committed to each other. It sounds lovely.

    As for coming out, there's no recipe, I'm afraid. You may want to make a list of people you're most afraid of coming out to and hold them off until later. Or, you may want to rip the band-aid off, as it were, and come out to them first. Other people prefer to be nonchalant about it and just, say, change their profile status to "in a relationship with <place name here>" You may want to do it together, so you can back each other up.

    Like dartmouth said, you may lose friends. I didn't. Not even my fundamentalist christian friends or super-religious parents. Part of the scariness of coming out is not knowing what will happen. Remember that this can put a strain on your relationship. Whatever you do, do talk it out between the two of you. However you do it, make sure you're doing it for and with each other.

    In this part of the world, in this day and age, it's pretty much a guarantee that some of your friends will be okay with your coming out - even if it comes as a shock (and you'd be surprised...it may not shock as many people as you think). When all is said and done, focus on them. Grieve the relationships you lose, but remember it's not your problem that homophobes can't get over that shit. Focus on the ones who stick with you. They are the people who love you for you, and not for who they think you are.

    P.S. Good luck, and do tell us how it goes.
     
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