Need advice

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by blazingsun_2000, Mar 26, 2007.

  1. blazingsun_2000

    blazingsun_2000 New Member

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    Hi,
    I dont know where to fit this but a female opinion is what I am counting on a lot. I would not say I had lots of experience but had some experience, but had a nice larger share. She gets it hot and hard but then toys around it a bit and tries to insert it if she is too much lubed up she does not know whats happening or is it inside and i tend to go soft with all the attempts. I thought intially it was me (and even it hurts my ego ;) as I am little above average) but then I realized, well to get be hard again i need to use missionary or something where i insert it (sometimes it pains a bit to her or tightens up). And then we can change it to something like her on top instead of her inserting by herself. (And my problem) sometimes she is so hot that she wants to ride me till the end instead of me taking a break to cool things a bit (after cooling down once i am able to go on quite a long time), and then complain that I come too soon to satisfy her (she does take a little longer to come but nothing that I cant handle). At the end she still tells sex was good, but with those little nags and complains and in general life I am real senistive to that. And to top it she tends to act quite friendly (/flirty) with other guys when something like that happens and that really have me on my nerves.

    Other problem is ego issue is she is one of the does and delegent at work types and likes to act as care taker. She is not the best looking girl I have dated but she is nice and caring (atleast it seems most of times). I am kind of strategic thinker, shot up in a corporate quite fast and same way got laid off. I had tried out 3 businesses and 1 works great (By grace of God I save a bit and during losses I had relied on those savings helping me remain afloat). At other time if I am looking at its development or working on planning I end up as a guy who does nothing just sit in front of papers. Lot of the time I sit and think before I put things to action and quite into myself which comes out as inattentive, dumb and lazy.

    Anyways its nagging and bed room incidents which have been lately disturbing me a lot that I have been thinking all sort of things. Any advice.
     
  2. capcraz

    capcraz Member

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    I really don't understand much of what you've said, you seem to have big problems with writing. I also don't see any point at all to the detailed occupational story that followed the sexual one... that may just be me though. If you're saying that she gets you hard and then waits around too long to go at it, and your excitement fades that's probably normal every now and then. If you masturbate a lot this can also happen though. You can get very aroused in the moment but you get off manually whenever you want so there is no real "need" to cum to keep you interested.

    If it takes the feeling of missionary to get you back in the game you could also have some dominance or other psychological issues. If you only respond to the physical sensation of sex, and are not mentally aroused by her enough to keep fucking, or go at it one time through that's a big red flag. Everyone can use a break now and again, and you're right that it can lead to even bigger and better things, but unless you're overweight, a bit older, or something it shouldn’t happen every time. You should talk to her and tell her what turns you on the most and that by flirting with other guys she makes you less interested in pleasuring her. Tell her this, (hopefully more tactfully) and if she cares enough, you can both come to a compromise on what works best for both parties and have a much better sexual experience.
     
  3. SpoiledPrincess

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    I agree with most of what kotch said, she's being in control just so she can make you fail then punishing you for this failure. It takes two to make sex good and you should inform her its her failure as much as yours, (your only failure seems to be in taking control of the situation) but unless you sort this out now it will only escalate and damage your self esteem even more. Partners are supposed to be kind to one another sexually not set one another up for failure then have a go at them because of their perceived failure.
     
  4. D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah

    D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah Account Disabled

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    To me it sounds like your girlfriend/wife is a selfish lover and may be demanding to much from you in bed..

    You need to tell her that even with foreplay there is only so long you can maintain an erection and she is oversteping that time limit which seems to be causing most of your problems. Also tell her that sex isnt a race and that if she expects you to last long enough to make her orgasm that you need to vary your love making, fast, slow, positions etc
     
  5. blazingsun_2000

    blazingsun_2000 New Member

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    Thank you guys. Capcraz I understand it was confusing, I was to worked up when I wrote. And expained my work situation as even I was feeling she wants to be in control. She had been a bit top handed with her younger siblings (but gifts them generously etc..)at times, which I had opposed.

    I kind of had a failed love, when she came in my life and I was bit depressed and she was there emotionally as a friend so I dont want to hurt her in any way. But I tried talking to her and she denied doing anything on purpose and stating, she is only putting words to what is there so I can correct my self and then tears so I could not discuss it further. I dont know how to deal with it now, but atleast things are more clear.


    Thanks a ton guys!!
     
  6. D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah

    D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah Account Disabled

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    Sorry darlin'..but the girl is playing you big time.

    The fact that she denies she is doing anything wrong (on purpose or not) shows that she doesnt care how you feel.. Ignore the tears and get your point across..Make her know that she is hurting you and that SHE has to do something about it and that it isnt just your problem.
     
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