Need advice

eastonmac

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Hey guys I'm a longtime reader but first time poster here...and I have a weird situation. I'm 21 and have always considered myself straight but not narrow. I was raised as a nudist, and I have a gay brother. That's not really my focus, just letting you know that I'm pretty open to things and tend to roll with the punches.

I currently rent a house with my childhood buddy Luke. To my knowledge, he's always been straight too. He knows I'm a nudist, and went into our living situation accepting that fact. Once in a while, he has participated too, but not nearly as much as I do.

Lately, he's been naked a little more, which is fine. Like I said we grew up together and we had our experimental phase and of course he has seen me naked a million times. But I'll be honest, I started having this tiny little kernel of curiosity. It never went too far at first, just me looking at his dick more or his bulge if he was in his underwear. I just wrote it off as innocent looking, and I wrote his increasing nudity off as him just getting more comfy with me.

Well last weekend we got drunk together and he came out as bisexual to me. I was surprised to say the least but happy he confided in me and all that. I just didn't expect it from him. Trouble is, if you can call it trouble, my curiosity has been sparked. What I thought was just a dormant little thing has turned into something way bigger. I haven't told him any of this. I've been having wet dreams about him, and have even jacked off thinking about him naked. I'm open to experimentation, that's not the problem. My problem is, how do I pursue something sexual with him? I don't want to ruin our friendship but I can't help but think that he might be into it too. Where do I go from here?
 
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When you have sexual interest in a friend your friendship will change naturally. Being attracted to a guy and not give in is tough – especially considering the two of you live together. There are quite many factors you haven’t mentioned, like is it strictly physical or are you attracted to him in general. But not giving in might cause more issues than just giving in.

Anyway there’s one big misunderstanding: gay/bi guys don’t necessarily consider all guys attractive and want to experiment with them. His coming out as bisexual could have other reasons than considering you attractive. You live together so maybe he just wants to take some hookups home. So you should find out his intentions first. You’re friends you should be able to talk about those things just as both of you should recognize attraction especially considering both of you spend time naked together. Yes giving in might ruin the friendship – or make it ultimately better.
 

hvdude

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I like both of these responses, starting with the second. Communication is key and since you are friends you should feel you could confide your feelings to him, making sure you both understand the ground rules (whatever you both decide they are). Ask yourself: what happens if one of us wants to stop or doesn't enjoy it but the other does? what happens if you start developing feelings for each other? what happens if....? Be crystal clear with each other. Also what is and is not do-able? For example, will you kiss each other? What about rimming? Is it only to be mutual masturbation, oral or anal or all of the above?

Then, watching porn may be a good place to start. Gay, straight or bi-porn? May not seem to matter, but it might when the time comes.

Again, just know the risks: if it doesn't work out are you going to lose a friend/roommate? Good luck!
 

Brodie888

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I personally wouldn't recommend the watching porn together idea. To me that's kind of predatory and could get awkward.

My suggestion would be to look for a moment when you are discussing relationships (eg a mutual friend in a new relationship or something). Over a couple of drinks is good but not when absolutely hammered. Drop in the comment along the lines of "being a nudist I'm probably more open to experimenting than most. Whether it be with other guys or whatever...". Then see what his reaction is.

Hopefully he'll take the bait. The key is to always meet him half way. Don't push it too hard otherwise you'll probably push him away.
 

keenobserver

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Given you have known the guy for a while and spent naked time with him, and that he confided his bisexual nature to you, confide in him, when you are both alone and sober that you are wondering if he would be interested in sharing some intimate time with you. Let him know your friendship matters most, but that if he is interested, you are interested. If he's not, he's not, hopefully he will appreciate your openness and honesty. If he is, and it leads to something great, but whatever happens will happen or not because of honesty, not sly seduction or booze.
 
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eastonmac

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Thanks for your advice so far! I have mostly been playing it cool and hanging out with him. As far as the nudist part of this goes, he's been opening up a little more and getting more comfortable with it. Usually it's been around his showers or getting up or going to bed. But his nudity has been creeping in a little more here and there. Last night we were watching TV on the couch and I was naked as always. He was in his underwear but when he got up to take a leak he came back naked. And we just chilled and watched TV like that.

As for his bisexuality I did get to talk to him more about it. I asked him a few questions out of honest interest. He told me that he's known it about himself for a while now, but that he doesn't have much experience with it. At first he didn't want to tell me what his experiences have been not because he was ashamed to talk about it but because he thought I wouldn't wanna hear it or I'd freak out. I convinced him that I was fine hearing about it, and he told me that basically he's given some handjobs and has gotten sucked off. He said he also tried to suck a guy and while he was into doing it, he wasn't very good at it.

I told him I was asking because I was a little curious as to how it all worked and interested in his life. Like we always are, being friends as long as we have been. I realized afterward that I maybe didn't indicate as strongly as I would have liked that I was curious. I kind of buried it in being curious about his life, and I wish I would have taken more ownership of it. But I still can, I know that. And I'll admit I did get an erection while he was telling me about what he had done so far. But at the same time, I've been a nudist for as long as I've known him so he's seen me with an erection before. I just hope he kind of makes that connection in his head, that him talking about that is what gave me one. I don't know if he did or if he will, but there it is.

I figure now that I've had that conversation with him I can revisit it and tell him that the reason I was asking is because I'm a little curious myself. I can't help but think there's a connection between his growing nudity around the house and him coming out as bi to me. Maybe I'm reading into it, but it's all happened around the same time.
 
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Brodie888

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Thanks for your advice so far! I have mostly been playing it cool and hanging out with him. As far as the nudist part of this goes, he's been opening up a little more and getting more comfortable with it. Usually it's been around his showers or getting up or going to bed. But his nudity has been creeping in a little more here and there. Last night we were watching TV on the couch and I was naked as always. He was in his underwear but when he got up to take a leak he came back naked. And we just chilled and watched TV like that.

As for his bisexuality I did get to talk to him more about it. I asked him a few questions out of honest interest. He told me that he's known it about himself for a while now, but that he doesn't have much experience with it. At first he didn't want to tell me what his experiences have been not because he was ashamed to talk about it but because he thought I wouldn't wanna hear it or I'd freak out. I convinced him that I was fine hearing about it, and he told me that basically he's given some handjobs and has gotten sucked off. He said he also tried to suck a guy and while he was into doing it, he wasn't very good at it.

I told him I was asking because I was a little curious as to how it all worked and interested in his life. Like we always are, being friends as long as we have been. I realized afterward that I maybe didn't indicate as strongly as I would have liked that I was curious. I kind of buried it in being curious about his life, and I wish I would have taken more ownership of it. But I still can, I know that. And I'll admit I did get an erection while he was telling me about what he had done so far. But at the same time, I've been a nudist for as long as I've known him so he's seen me with an erection before. I just hope he kind of makes that connection in his head, that him talking about that is what gave me one. I don't know if he did or if he will, but there it is.

I figure now that I've had that conversation with him I can revisit it and tell him that the reason I was asking is because I'm a little curious myself. I can't help but think there's a connection between his growing nudity around the house and him coming out as bi to me. Maybe I'm reading into it, but it's all happened around the same time.

Seriously, it's beyond my comprehension how you could totally miss that opportunity. To the point I question your honesty about your story.
 

RJ5on1

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TBH, I think you're doing just fine! You might mention something about "you obviously saw my erection while telling me about your experiences...", and say, "I'll admit, I am a bit curious and would like to know more."

He trusted in you enough to tell you he's bi... think about it; the courage that took on his part to open up to you!

It's now you're turn to trust in him to open up about your interest and curiosity!

Keep us posted, OK? Oh, and by the way, Welcome! I'm glad you decided to become a "first time poster". This is a great place to visit, and I encourage you to drop in often!
 
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