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I need advice on how to handle a situation... I don't have anyone I can talk to about it, so why not turn to the power of the Internet?
I am gay. I am also very much in the closet, though I suspect that there are those who know the truth. There always are. I have no fantasies about getting married to a woman and living a straight life. I'll either remain a confirmed bachelor, or come out eventually... But not at this time.
At a recent wedding, I met someone who I believe is more like me than he realizes... Let's just call him Pete. From the second Pete walked in, I knew I wanted to get to know him. I am always looking for more friends, male/female, gay/straight. As the night progressed, we forged a bit of a friendship, but the more Pete drank, the more he came on to me and every other guy around. This was very blatant, but Pete is a self described Heterosexual.
After a group of us retired to an after party, Pete turned his attentions squarlely on me, and was not discreet about it -- at one point telling me to "be a man and put my hand on his balls" in front of 5 other people. I should mention he was extremely drunk, and I denied his advances. At one point, he started talking some crazy shit, and I talked to him in private, where he made me promise we'd be friends, and yadda high school shit like that. (We are mid/late 20's...)
Nothing happened, other than two long hugs (I made sure of it)... I did not place my hands anywhere, and neither did he. His advances were very specific, but rebuffed (mainly because of the others present, but also I knew how drunk he was and didn't want to take advantage.) I don't want him to be embarassed (if he even remembers any of it!) because I have been there/done that once myself.
Apparently this is a pattern of behavior of his that he is (in)famous for... As I learned from some mutual friends.
I guess my point is... I had texted him the next day to see that he was still alive and ok (he is) but that is it. I want to contact him, not to nessecarily form a relationship, but to form a friendship. I want to let him know that we are much more alike than he might realize, and to try to give him someone to talk to. I am not sure if this is proper, or if I should let sleeping dogs lie.
I am not going to lie, I'd like any sort of relationship with Pete. Friendship, Romantic, whatever. I just want him to know there is someone out there who is also going through what he is, and who can talk abouit it discreetly.
Do I reach out to him? Or do I just let it go? I don't want him to think I am coming on to him (really, even though I would love to, I just want to make sure he has an outlet. He was talking crazy shit when he was drunk, and I'd rather him have someone to talk to then acting on it.)
The odds of us reconnecting by chance are slim to none, and slim just set sail for Cuba.
This is my first time in such a situation. I've been Pete only once, but with another Out and Proud gay man. I've never been me. And I don't know what to do. I feel like I am back in high school. I don't know if/what he remembers (or is willing to)...
Am I pathetic? Yeah, a bit selfish, as I would hope there may be a chance of a deeper friendship or relationship could develop. And I would love to have someone to talk to as well about all this crap as well. But if nothing comes of it, at least I offered right?
I am looking to others who have either been the Pete or the Me in this...
I am gay. I am also very much in the closet, though I suspect that there are those who know the truth. There always are. I have no fantasies about getting married to a woman and living a straight life. I'll either remain a confirmed bachelor, or come out eventually... But not at this time.
At a recent wedding, I met someone who I believe is more like me than he realizes... Let's just call him Pete. From the second Pete walked in, I knew I wanted to get to know him. I am always looking for more friends, male/female, gay/straight. As the night progressed, we forged a bit of a friendship, but the more Pete drank, the more he came on to me and every other guy around. This was very blatant, but Pete is a self described Heterosexual.
After a group of us retired to an after party, Pete turned his attentions squarlely on me, and was not discreet about it -- at one point telling me to "be a man and put my hand on his balls" in front of 5 other people. I should mention he was extremely drunk, and I denied his advances. At one point, he started talking some crazy shit, and I talked to him in private, where he made me promise we'd be friends, and yadda high school shit like that. (We are mid/late 20's...)
Nothing happened, other than two long hugs (I made sure of it)... I did not place my hands anywhere, and neither did he. His advances were very specific, but rebuffed (mainly because of the others present, but also I knew how drunk he was and didn't want to take advantage.) I don't want him to be embarassed (if he even remembers any of it!) because I have been there/done that once myself.
Apparently this is a pattern of behavior of his that he is (in)famous for... As I learned from some mutual friends.
I guess my point is... I had texted him the next day to see that he was still alive and ok (he is) but that is it. I want to contact him, not to nessecarily form a relationship, but to form a friendship. I want to let him know that we are much more alike than he might realize, and to try to give him someone to talk to. I am not sure if this is proper, or if I should let sleeping dogs lie.
I am not going to lie, I'd like any sort of relationship with Pete. Friendship, Romantic, whatever. I just want him to know there is someone out there who is also going through what he is, and who can talk abouit it discreetly.
Do I reach out to him? Or do I just let it go? I don't want him to think I am coming on to him (really, even though I would love to, I just want to make sure he has an outlet. He was talking crazy shit when he was drunk, and I'd rather him have someone to talk to then acting on it.)
The odds of us reconnecting by chance are slim to none, and slim just set sail for Cuba.
This is my first time in such a situation. I've been Pete only once, but with another Out and Proud gay man. I've never been me. And I don't know what to do. I feel like I am back in high school. I don't know if/what he remembers (or is willing to)...
Am I pathetic? Yeah, a bit selfish, as I would hope there may be a chance of a deeper friendship or relationship could develop. And I would love to have someone to talk to as well about all this crap as well. But if nothing comes of it, at least I offered right?
I am looking to others who have either been the Pete or the Me in this...