Need feedback/advice

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by avalon33, Apr 15, 2011.

  1. avalon33

    avalon33 Member

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    Hey Guys,

    I'm hoping someone out there can advise me on the best way to approach my situation. Here's the backstory - when I was in high school and on an overnight school trip where there were a bunch of guys staying in a hotel room together, a friend of mine (I'd known since we were kids) made a pass at me while we were in bed together. At first I was shocked, but he grabbed my dick and started playing with it. I jokingly told him to stop or things were going to get out of control. He kept fondling me for a few minutes but not too long because we didn't want the other guys to notice.

    Some time later I was invited to a slumber party at another friends house and this same guy was also invited. He and I ended up sharing the sofa bed together. This time, I wanted something to happen and we ended up fondling each other most of the night.

    OK, fast-farward to present day. I moved back to my childhoood hometown a few years ago and learned that this guy recently moved back to the area as well. He was divorced but recently married his 2nd wife. He's got kids and grandkids and is very happy with his new marriage. Shortly after they were married, they both came to visit me. It was a mini class reunion you could say. As we were catching up with each other and reminscing about old times, he commented on the slumber party we had at the other friends house. He didn't say anything that would have caused his wife to suspect anything, but the fact that he referred to that night shocked me at first. I laughed it off and said that was a fun and crazy night.

    After that visit, I asked him to stop by anytime he was in town - he lives a couple hours away but has family in my town. When I extended the invitation to him, I was hoping he would come alone at some point. The next time he visited me he brought one of his relatives - which was fine but not what I was hoping for.

    We talk on the phone occasionally but it's been over a year since his last visit and I'm not sure if he's interested or not. I'm not sure if I should try and get him to come by so we can talk or not. I'd really like to know where he stands and/or if he's wanting something more from me.

    What to do - what to do?
     
  2. Pierced1953

    Pierced1953 New Member

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    For one he's married. He also showed up with someone. He might have gone completely straight and just wanting a friendship again. You might be heading for a heart break and even getting into a mess if he starts cheating on his wife.

    Do you really want that?
     
  3. avalon33

    avalon33 Member

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    I don't want to ruin his marriage at all. I just want to clear the air between us so I know where our friendship stands. Every time we see each other he makes references to times when we fooled around but says it in a way that only the two of us know what he's talking about. The reason I'm confused is that he seems happy but if he's so happy why does he keep bringing up the past? I'm not chasing after him, I just want to know what's going on in his head.
     
  4. molotovmuffin

    Gold Member

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    Does it really matter? Don't worry about it. It really sounds like he's just reminiscing about good times that just happen to coincide with your dalliances. Besides...it's been over a year since his last visit. Move on.
     
  5. killerb

    Verified Gold Member

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    Forget it & move on...there's nothing there.
     
  6. flame boy

    flame boy Account Disabled

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    He may stop by from time to time and visit you as a friend, part of a friendship is talking about the fun times you shared - he's just reliving good memories and I highly doubt there is anything more to it. If he wanted something to happen I am sure he wouldn't bring people with him every time he visits you etc.
     
  7. avalon33

    avalon33 Member

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    Thank you all for your input and advice. I think you're right. My mind was playing tricks on me and I was confused by the reminders of our past exploits. I'll ignore and move on as suggested. Thanks again!
     
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