need help with gf's issues

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by hanko, Oct 4, 2006.

  1. hanko

    hanko New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 2, 2006
    Messages:
    54
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Texas
    Hello everyone. I have been engaged for several months now. Our sex life is outstanding. I do everything that I have always wanted to do in bed and my finacee seems to be happy with our sex life as well. We have sex fairly often, at least once a day, sometimes more, depending on work and school. There is one thing that she won't let me do-anal sex. I think the only reason I like it is because I like the sight of me penetrating her there. It just does it for me. Anyway, it's funny because we have done it once. She let me for about a minute or so and it seemed to be alright. Then it started hurting her and we had to stop. After that, no matter what amount of lube I offered, she does not want to. She says I am to big, which is not true (you can judge for yourself). She also attributes that to the fact that she works out and that supposedly makes her too tight. I wonder if it has anything to do with age-she is 20. Anyway, let me know what you think. Suggestions are much appreciated.
    Hank
     
  2. PacknThick

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2006
    Messages:
    367
    Albums:
    3
    Likes Received:
    438
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    New York (NY, US)
    Verified:
    Photo
    DUDE, its funny howus big dudes dont think we are big. I'm ok with my size, but others say its big!!! I mean I know im thick/fat/wide. But I dont think im long. Hwever with anal you are big. You are thick like me,if notthicker. Thats where the pain comes in. If you were longer and skinnier I would say then she is lying. But you are big. I dunno maybe get her drunk and do use lots of lube. Good Luck.
     
  3. dexman

    dexman New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 25, 2006
    Messages:
    79
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    San Francisco, CA
    Hey Hanko.

    It would seem that you simply have a GF who really isn't into anal. A lot of women (and gay men) are not. It's definitely an acquired taste and not for everyone, and a lot of people don't find it enjoyable since, for women, the anus doesn't have the same "pleasure" nerve sensitivity that a vagina has. Her young age might also have something to do with it as she may not have had any prior experience with this. Your dick size, while certainly very respectable, doesn't seem huge, but it doesn't have to be that big in order to cause your GF discomfort. She certainly deserves some kuddos for letting you at least try it once. My suggestion is to perhaps convince her to let you use your fingers on her occasionally to loosen and open her up and get her used to the sensations, and maybe that could lead to penetration with your dick. If you're slow and easy and she's very well lubed and relaxed, it might make it less difficult and she might even get to the point of indulging you with this if not getting off on it herself. But if she really can't go there with you, if you love her and value your relationship and have a great sex life otherwise, this shouldn't be a big deal or something to get yourself hung up on, so I'd say you should drop it, move on, and enjoy her sexually for all the other things she does offer that you can both get into.
     
  4. stud_hunter

    stud_hunter New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2006
    Messages:
    817
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    CA, USA
    Yup. I don't like anal either. Plenty of women don't, so my advice would be to respect that and not pressure her. She knows you want to do it, my guess is if she changes her mind she'll come to you. I'd drop the issue.
     
  5. Nitrofiend

    Nitrofiend New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 28, 2006
    Messages:
    924
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    I have yet to have successful (where there wasn't any bleeding afterward) anal with my gf, despite the fact that she loves it more than vaginal, so it doesn't necessarily mean she hates it. My gf LOVES playing with her ass and butt plugs alone, but just has a hell of a hard time doing this stuff when I'm around. She has to get more than really comfortable with you first. I remain hopeful that some day we'll get it right (and we try very rarely, it's not a priority, as long as she remains interested).
     
  6. hanko

    hanko New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 2, 2006
    Messages:
    54
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Texas
    I think I am at the point of dropping the issue, althought she doesn't get mad every time I mention anal sex. I think I will try the fingering before I do that because she usually enjoys everything anal but penetration. Great suggestions though. Thanks a lot everyone.
     
  7. kiahman

    kiahman Member

    Joined:
    Jun 27, 2006
    Messages:
    140
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    MD
    Just checked out your pics...
    Was that a remote control next to your penis? LOL Dude, face it you're big. I am a gay man, and 98% of the time, the top. It is very difficult for me to enjoy penetration and my man is average. Yet, he loves it and I'm somewhat larger than average, but nothing like some of the guys on this site. I'd say the fingering is definitely the way to go and then work 2 in there....lick it a little and alternate until she seems all the ready ready for you. if that doesn't work, your girl may simply not be into it, and that's cool--especially if you all enjoy a great sex life now.
     
  8. quercusone

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jul 19, 2006
    Messages:
    1,151
    Albums:
    7
    Likes Received:
    2,253
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Dallas (TX, US)
    Verified:
    Photo
    Welcome to my world. Hell, most girls can only handle missionary with me. Its a curse I tell ya.....A great big curse!
     
  9. Magnum10x2

    Magnum10x2 Member

    Joined:
    Feb 3, 2006
    Messages:
    683
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    16
    Gender:
    Male
    Problem – large penis… Solution- Anal lube that desensitizes is key…

    Not for you – although, you will be able to pound that ass for an hour, but for her.

    Start out with some small falcon balls or something similar. I usually let her on top of me and start licking her pussy – juices start running and a lubed up anal toy starts loosening her up, then we move on to a high quality inflatable rubber penis.

    A little more lube – squirt some inside too… and your set.

    Good Luck
     
  10. Nitrofiend

    Nitrofiend New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 28, 2006
    Messages:
    924
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    In my experience anal desensitizing lube is dangerous as it numbs and you can't tell if you're injuring her. Just because she can't feel it during sex, that doesn't mean there's no damage.
     
  11. MissEricaCourt

    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2005
    Messages:
    30
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    155
    I've been recently involved in starting to have anal sex because of doctor's orders to not have standard penis to vagina sex. I was very apprehensive at first and rightfully so, because it hurts like hell when you start, at least it did for me. But, i've found myself able to relax and take it pretty easy now, once ive adjusted to it and we get going its great, but the beginning always tends to be rough, at least for me. I would say, don't push the issue if shes very uncomfortable about it, but if she is willing to give it another go, you should get some smaller dildos or something like that and kinda work her up to your size, that helped me alot. (hooray for me, im off vaginal probation next week)
     
  12. Closet Donkey

    Closet Donkey New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2006
    Messages:
    93
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Surrey, England
    If she doesn't want to do it leave it be. Alot of women simply aren't into anal sex.
    And as for the guy who advised you to get her drunk , knowing full well that she isn't into anal, well...........................
     
  13. IntoxicatingToxin

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2006
    Messages:
    10,133
    Likes Received:
    152
    Call me crazy... but you could just try respecting the fact that she doesn't like anal and leave it alone. I know for me, the more my guy asks for something, the less I want to do it. I don't like feeling pressured. If you love her and everything else is great, then just leave it alone.
     
  14. hungthickdc

    hungthickdc Member

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2006
    Messages:
    41
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    21
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Caribbean
    Anal sex is all about mind over matter. As you can see from the size of some of the dildos that men (or women) put up their ass, the anus can stretch considerably. And since there is no cervix to get in the way, penetration can typically be deeper than in the vagina.

    You must respect your girlfriends wishes when it comes to anal sex, however I also feel it is her duty as your partner to give it her best effort to accommodate your wishes.

    That said, have you tried anal sex? Why don't you get a small dildo and experiment with it so you know exactly what she is feeling. One of the biggest mistakes that you can make when you are the top in anal sex is going too fast. The anus is full of nerves and when done right, anal sex is mind blowingly awesome. I think more straight men should be receptive to the idea of letting their girlfriends give them pleasure via the anus.
     
  15. BobLeeSwagger

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 11, 2003
    Messages:
    1,481
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    Let's the put it this way: my experience is that most women don't want to have sex every day. And yet yours does. You really don't have much to complain about here. :rolleyes:
     
  16. Nitrofiend

    Nitrofiend New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 28, 2006
    Messages:
    924
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    How does one get on vaginal probation:eek:?
     
Draft saved Draft deleted