I dont want any comments on morality, I have already beaten myself up, I just want to know a few things. Basic Facts I am Early 40s Married 15+ years 3 Kids Love my Husband Have only slept with 4 guys up until now All 4 guys were average or slightly below average on size I always thought size didnt matter Thought I had good sex with husband Started an affair 4 weeks ago He is about same age, but just went through a divorce from his wife of 14 years. We met talked 5 minutes; met 2 days later again talked 10 minutes, met the next day and had sex. Totally out of character for me, I was not looking for an affair. He is VERY Large (about 7 - 8 inches long but VERY THICK) I felt like a virgin the first time, it hurt and I have had 3 kids vaginally He is opposite of my husband in many ways he is very aggressive in bed He lasts a long time He is very strong We have had sex in hundreds of new positions We have had sex on almost every piece of furniture in his apartment He talks very dirty and kinky We dont make love, we FUCK, like animals. I have had the best orgasms ever. The sex is awesome. Problems. Husband complains that I am very loose, (like after giving birth loose) wants to know why? I havent been able to orgasm with husband since I started the affair, it could be mental but my husband now looks small almost tiny and I dont feel my husband inside of me, with the other guy I feel overstuffed, stretched, filled. I love my husband but am worried, have I ruined our sex life? I am nervous and scared the sex I am having now is like nothing I have ever had, its rough, animalistic, fun, always changing and fulfilling (pun intended) I like it as a matte of a fact for the first time in my life I am thinking about and craving sex. My husband thinks getting wild in bed is doing it doggy style, he is boring, but I never knew it until now. I also didnt know that size does matter. So the main question is have any of you gone from very well endowed men who rocked your world back to an average person who is very average in bed and still enjoyed that sex? Have I ruined my marriage?