Need input about older woman!

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by bigschlotsky, Apr 5, 2006.

  1. bigschlotsky

    bigschlotsky New Member

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    I know we've had a few "older woman" threads lately. By coincidence I'm going to throw another one in there because I've got myself in a little pickle and could use some feedback.
    A few months ago I met this woman at work. I don't see her every day because we work at different sites, but I'm up at her site maybe twice a week and after awhile we became friendly. I was definitely doing some lusting too. Anyway, after awhile we got more friendly and then one day after work we fooled around, and that led to a sexual fling. That was about 6 weeks ago and since then things have gotten more complicated than I imagined. As for her, she's 41 years old and has 2 daughters ages 18 and 11. Her husband died about a year ago from cancer.
    The physical aspect of our relationship is great. This woman is sexy. The kind of middle-aged, tall, elegant beautiful where I see guys stunned when she walks in the room. I mean, for her age this woman is a TEN. Also the sex is incredible. In public she's pretty soft-spoken but she's a tiger in bed. I've never been with a woman who brought so much energy to our sex. So where't the problem you ask? Well, I am NOT ready to be seriously involved with someone in her stage of life. I'm just not. But the thing is besides the sex I really like this woman. I have to admit at first it was just a hot sex fling to me but over time I've really gotten fond of her. So I'm a little confused because I don't want to give her up but we aren't exactly dating and I'm a bit nervous about biting off more than I can chew. I haven't even met her kids because she didn't want me to which I totally understand,and am really relieved by.
    I talked to her about this issue and she understood where I'm coming from. She said she's pretty confused too, what with still adjusting to her new life as a single working parent. She told me she likes spending time with me, and she also told me she really likes the sex. But she's also really in a coping stage and at this point in her life she's really living one day at a time.
    Anyway, I'm a little worried about getting in too deep with her. I don't feel like I want to end the relationship but I also don't think that anytime soon I'm going to be comfortable being serious with a women 16 yrs older with 2 kids. I'm just not at that stage.
    So I know there are no easy answers, but there are some smart people on this site so I'd love to hear any bits of wisdom or thoughts. Thanks.
     
  2. mjjudd

    mjjudd Active Member

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    Thanks... now I've got that "Stacy's Mom" song stuck in my head
     
  3. windtalkerways

    Gold Member

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    I'd say you're handling it the best way.
    You've explained to her that you aren't
    ready for anything serious but I think
    the underlying concern is:

    a) you may feel a bit guilty because on
    some subconcious level you feel like you
    are using her, if no deep feelings have
    developed...after all, you may feel you
    are using a 41 year old woman as a
    f*ck-buddy.

    or

    b) you've admitted the woman is a ten
    and while you don't want to commit,
    you are possibly worried that some other
    guy will scoop her up, as you haven't
    "laid claim" in any manner.

    I don't really see any problems, per se...
    if you're there to just enjoy the sex, then
    keep on trucking. :wink:
     
  4. bigschlotsky

    bigschlotsky New Member

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    Thanks. I think if I was just there to enjoy the sex this situation would be a lot easier. It's not really an issue of me using her. She's told me that right now she's not looking for anything serious either, and she told me point blank she likes our "friends with benefits" arrangement at the moment. So really based on that we're on the same page and there are no problems. I think the hard part for me is it's not 100% about the sex. I really like this woman and I wonder if we keep it up I'll get really emotionally into something I'm not prepared for, based on the age difference and the fact that she has a kid living at home.
    Like I said I know there are no easy answers.
     
  5. stud_hunter

    stud_hunter New Member

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    From what I hear, it sounds like:
    1. Neither of you are exactly rushing to get to a serious relationship.
    2. You're both enjoying the sex.
    3. You like each other's company.

    So I say don't analyze it to death. Sure you might "get in too deep" but why mess up a good thing because of what might happen?
     
  6. Gisella

    Gold Member

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    I do agree.
     
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