Need Solid Womens Advice Please.

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by mikeshort, Mar 5, 2011.

  1. mikeshort

    mikeshort New Member

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    First off i'm not some pervert in to humiliation or any of that. I have been viewing the site for a while and I have seen some wierd stuff on here. My question is serious on all levels and I really need the women to answer to the best of their ability. I know all women are different, but the insight might help me.

    I have been married 4 years and been with the same woman for 12 years living together.
    We were truthful about relationships from the get go and I found out very fast my equipment did not match up to what she had before me, but I did have a bigger one then two of her past bf's..:)

    There's one guy she always loved to brag about and tells about his penis to girlfriends and others right in front of me. Granted we are secure in our relationship. I always find it funny she grasp on to him and his penis size. He was really well endowed and I do not even come close, which is ok. I have met him when we first started dating. He's a really nice guy. We have not seen or talk to him in atleast 8 years now. But she still brags about him and his skills and size.

    I guess my question is, Is she trying to tell me something? Does she want him again for just sex? She hinting towards extra activities. I can't figure it out. When I bring it up and ask her would she like to ever have another spin she blows it off and says what ever...

    I really love my wife and I do know that we all have different needs. I just want her to get what she needs to make sure she's enjoying life. This is starting to make me wonder. Is this just a fantasy now or what?
    I wished I had a bigger one to please her and I do try everything to make her happy with my skills and I try new things and toys etc.

    Should I just locate this and ask him to come bang my wife or what...???
     
  2. FeroxFemina

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    First of all welcome :smile:


    I'll tell you a secret..... size doesn't matter ssshhh!!

    It takes more than the size or your dick to make a relationship work and she chose you!


    I don't keep my ex's a secret from my bf's but this ^ just doesn't seem very fair. Does it hurt your feelings?


    I have never done what she is doing so I can't say for sure what she wants. I would suggest that you speak to her about it but it sounds like thats not working.

    If you have the courage to bring up the subject then it's only fair that she hears you out and doesn't blow you off.


    Imagine that you did just that. Go through the scenario in your head. What would happen next? Would there be anger? Resentment? Jealousy?

    First and foremost I think you need to discuss things with your wife. Do not let her blow you off because this is serious.

    I'm hoping the lovely ladies of lpsg join in on this thread and help you out because I don't know what else to suggest.
     
  3. PhallicApotheosis

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    If you want to be miserable. That shit denigrates you, unless you're into that and volunteer.
     
  4. Patchos

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    Definitely. She'd love it. I know I would. Size matters.
     
  5. petite

    petite New Member

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    You've brought the subject up with her and she hasn't shown any interest in it. I would think that means that she's not trying to tell you anything. Although I'm confused, if she says what ever, then how is she hinting about extra activities?

    Maybe you should ask her to stop hinting and just tell you what she wants because you're never going to get those hints. That's what TheBF finally told me, and it's worked out wonderfully for us since he told me that he would love it if I was blunt and I didn't hint at all because he's so bad at reading hints.

    Some people like to tell tales of their adventures, and a lot of people enjoy hearing sex stories. It's possible that the reason why she tells those stories is because she thinks it will entertain other people, and not because she's trying to tell you something in particular. She may only be considering the tastes of the listeners and not your sex life with her when she tells stories to someone else in front of you. The fact that she feels comfortable doing it in front of you might mean that she believes you're more confident than you are, and that she doesn't realize how hearing her tell those stories affects you. Maybe you should tell her, so that she knows how it makes you feel.

    Are you serious about finding another man to come and bang your wife? I can't imagine my husband ever wanting to do something like that.
     
  6. HiddenLacey

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    I don't really understand the bragging about someone else's penis or sex skills to a current partner. I can only tell you it's something I would never do. I would try to answer questions truthfully if asked, but I would never say something that could possibly hurt the person I'm with. I would think repeated mentioning or bragging about an ex's sexual prowess or his penis size would be insensitive, even more so around a group of friends.

    I don't believe in the whole culkhold scene. It's not for me. I would suggest talking to her and asking her if this is what she really wants. If she's blowing you off she could think you are joking about it.

    I'm not sure if what she's doing hurts your feelings? It would hurt mine to have someone I love brag about someone else. Actually it would pretty much make me feel like dirt. I don't know how you deal with it.
     
  7. petite

    petite New Member

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    I am like you, I do not even bring up previous partner's penis sizes to my current partner in private, so I can't imagine doing it in front of someone else. However, I was thinking of my friends telling me the story about spying on the man who eventually became my husband while he changed out of his wet swim trunks and into his clothes, and that story was hilarious, and some of the fun of that story was about how funny they were about the size of his penis, so I can imagine how it could be an integral part of an entertaining tale, depending on the storytelling talent of the person telling the story and the circumstances of the story.

    If it was done in a way that made it sound like I was an inferior lover in front of my partner's friends, then I would be very hurt. I would never do that to another person, and if she is doing that to the OP, then she is treating him very badly.

    It all depends on how it all happens.
     
    #7 petite, Mar 5, 2011
    Last edited: Mar 5, 2011
  8. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

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    I am extremely honest and blunt when it comes to my sexual history. I'm also not shy (or discreet, as Petite would put it :tongue:) when it comes to talking about sex, in a general sense. So I can see myself talking about the sexual abilities of an ex to friends, with a current partner sitting beside me (in fact, I've done this plenty of times). In my case, it has never been that I was talking about an ex as a hint to my current partner that I'd like to fuck them again. In every case, I've just been having a conversation, and if that conversation is about sex, it's very likely that I'll discuss past partners, just like I do on here.

    So OP, I think it's unlikely that your wife is trying to hint at something. I think she's just having a conversation about sex. If she says she's not trying to suggest that she fuck him again, I think you should believe her. If you keep nagging her about it, it will make you look like you lack self confidence, and that is a turn off for most women. If I were her, it would also piss me off that you were calling me a liar, which is essentially what you're doing when you don't believe what she's saying.
     
  9. AlteredEgo

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    Your girl's behavior is weird. It's clear you have spoken to her about some aspects of this, but have you ever asked her why she keeps bringing up the past when you're right there? Does she bring it up matter-of-factly , or does she bring it up in a way that makes you out to be inferior? When she brings it up, does it seem topical? Or does it seem to come up out of the blue?
     
    #9 AlteredEgo, Mar 6, 2011
    Last edited: Mar 6, 2011
  10. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

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    Are you saying I'm weird? :tongue:

    Although I guess I've not met many people who are quite like me in his way, so maybe unusual would be appropriate.
     
  11. AlteredEgo

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    Well, I should have might be weird. The weirdness of the behavior depends on the answers to the questions I have.
     
  12. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

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    Agreed :smile:. My own comments are always topical (ish :biggrin1:). And anyone getting into a relationship with me KNOWS I'm like that. It's not as though it's something I only start doing when I become dissatisfied.
     
  13. Kassokilleri2ff

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    I'd say anyone who does these kinds of things in front of their lover is extremely disrespectful. If its not a hint, than she is just blind to the fact that that shit is hurtful and completely unnecessary I don't care if its "story time".
     
  14. TheCameraMan

    TheCameraMan New Member

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    So long as it doesn't come up when you two are intimate this doesn't seem to be too big of an issue. Guys talk about sex all the time, but her mentioning it to you does seem a bit off I suppose. Have you asked her about it? That should always be the first step in a relationship.
     
  15. petite

    petite New Member

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    That's true. I haven't done it in front of TheBF, but that's because not a lot of my friends were the "sex stories" kind of people when we met. If he had met me earlier in my life, before my best female friends all went to different grad schools around the country, which split up all up, then when they came over to our house, he would definitely be hearing about some sexual adventures that happened before we met!

    Oh! I forgot! I have done this in front of TheBF! It was with one of his friends. TheBF has a very old friend who lives overseas and visits sometimes and he likes to share racy stories, and so I have told stories to him! I don't remember any more, but I believe TheBF had already heard all those stories, and he never seemed insecure or bothered by the subjects we talked about or tried to change the subject or anything and he's never brought it up. We just all talked and laughed because that was apropos at that moment with the company we were keeping. Penis size didn't specifically come up, but a few entertaining tales were told, and I believe they were enjoyed.
     
    #15 petite, Mar 6, 2011
    Last edited: Mar 6, 2011
  16. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

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    This is the sort of thing I was talking about :smile:.
     
  17. petite

    petite New Member

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    I thought so! :smile:

    I asked my hubby if he remembered a time when I've done that and he remembered more than me. He said that I've also told stories in front of another male friend of ours who also enjoys racy stories, too. I asked him if it makes him uncomfortable and he said it doesn't at all.

    His take on the OP is that it's possible for the OP's wife to be behaving normally, depending on who the friends are, what the circumstances are of the story telling, whether the stories were told in context of the conversation, etc. If the story telling seems to be emasculating or humiliating, then that's different. He said, if her friend mentions that the guy she's seeing has a curved cock and his wife brings up that guy who also had a curved cock, and she mentions that he had the largest cock because he came up in conversation, then that's different than if she seems to be bringing him up specifically to emasculate her husband. He said, "It's entirely possible that she's behaving normally or that she's being a bitch. It depends on what story she told and how she told it and when she brought it up and who she told it to." He said if it's one of her closest friends and she's over at her home and he just happens to be home too, then he feels like she has free reign to say anything she wants, even if he overhears it.

    In other words, we really need to know the details to know if your wife is in the wrong or not, or what's going on with that situation. Can you tell us the story she tells about this large cock? Who does she tell it to? When does it come up? What are the circumstances and is it in context to the conversation? Is it a funny or entertaining story that people enjoy hearing, which would encourage her to tell it more frequently? Does she only tell these stories to very close friends when they bring up similar circumstances?

    I know that's a lot of questions, but they're relevant!
     
  18. xX_Sarah_Xx

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    Tough question... it all depends on the situation and way it was said.
    You know your wife best. Is that kind of behaviour out of the ordinary for her?
    Personally I wouldn't want my boyfriend to go through what you're going through now. Because even if it's in her nature to just speak what's on her mind, it's a little insensitive to you. But if she means no harm and is just a very straightforward person in a conversation, then I would just pass it off as remembering and telling others about a fun time she had. That doesn't mean she's looking for a second round, per se.

    That you asked her straight away (kudos to you, not everyone is secure enough/cares enough to do this) and she just passed it off with whatever could mean two things.
    Either she just ignores that "silly question" because you ought to know her well enough to realize that doesn't matter to her, and to push the matter further is to sound a little insecure.
    Or she doesn't want to talk about it with you because it strikes a cord with her and it's out of her comfort zone discussing it with you. In that case, you have a problem. Ask her the question again and tell her you're serious about it, that it plays in your mind and that you just want her to be happy. Even if she doesn't want to talk to you about it yet, that will stick in her head. Chances are that she doesn't know what she's wants yet and needs to give it some thought.
     
  19. redbear52

    redbear52 New Member

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    When your wife starts discussing her well-endowed ex and what a great fuck he was to her friends, does it bother you? If it does, and she knows this and persists, then it is unacceptable behavior, regardless of her intentions.

    If it doesn't bother you, or if she is unaware that it does, then it isn't.

    My guess is that if a guy talking to his friends with his wife or partner in attendance, and started going on about a woman he used to know who was fantastic in bed, and had great tits, it would be bothersome to at least 99% of the female population.

    I too find her behavior weird, unless she has gleaned from you that you consider it acceptable or even desirable.
     
  20. fire77

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    Some people like to discuss their sexual past with their friends, this is kind of common thing. Discussing it with partner present is less common, bragging about it to friends with partner present is kind of rare.

    Your wife is doing it because she is not happy about something relates to you, maybe she is missing on something she desire and you don't have or you are doing something that makes her say that to her friends with you there.

    Like most girls here telling you, it has nothing to do with your size. Women have other preferences in a man than just his dick size.

    and.... Pssssst here is a second hint.... Tease her with it, don't keep questioning her about, if she want to tell you she will, don't force her. :wink:
     
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