Hey group I need some advice on a sensitive topic.
To give the short version of it I have always considered myself straight and have had plenty of irlfriends. Inside I have always had an attraction to other guys and have come to the conclusion that I am bisexual but am not out to anyone.
Well a bout 6 mos ago I met a guy who I got to knwo very well and became atttracted to him almost immediately I didnt know if he was gay or not but had my suspicions. We shared so much of our own experiences and such that I knew that if ever there was someone I was meant to be with I thought it was him. One night when we were alone in my apt he asked me for a massage, so I gave him a full body massage. In turn he also gave me one. When he was giving me mine I started to instinctively rub his legs. Within seconds he turned me over and started kissing me passionately . That night we were intimate together but there was no sex.
We satrted to become even closer then sharing beds and soon began to express how much we loved each other. He said he would marry me if we could. I have never been in love beefore and I was totally wrapped up in him. I decided that I would make a big move and move in with him. Things were fine in the begining until a girl he used to like suddenly beacme available. I noticced he started pushing me away and never said I love you as much. He also started being abusive verbally calling me a fag and homo even though he said he was always palying. I started blaming myself because I htought I had done something wrong.
Well last week I could tell something was wrong and we had a serious talk. He explained that he wanted to get with this girl because he felt that he was missing an opportunity with her. He really wanted kids and thats what he kept repeating (he wanted kids). We had been having sex the last couple months and he said he felt that might have been wrong. (even though he initiated it and seemed to enjoy it a lot). In the end we decided to be just friends.
The problem is we still live together and he wants me to move with him again to a new city. He has again started kissing me and sleeping with me again sexually but no intercourse. He is now as passionate with me as he was when we first met. I am so confudsed because he wanted out yet he is still here acting like things never changed. He also still denies that he is not totally straight. Many people would think he is gay from the things he likes and does. He loves decorating,shows like queer eye and Manhunt and other stuff stereotypically gay. He also still comments on other guys bodies and even yesterday when a guy was undressing on tv he stopped and rewound it to watch it over in slow mo.
I feel he is just denying who he is and is afraid of coming out as he has told me over and over again. He says he wants children really bad and I think that is the ONLY reason he wants to get with this other girl and to please his family cause they expect him to marry this girl. He still says that I am his sole mate and he never wants that to change.
I want to be able to move on if he is not my future but I believe he is and would gladly live a secret life with him forever if I could, but I am so confused on where he stands and what he wants. I guess I am asking for advice on how to handle the situation and if I should approach him on his seemingly denial of who he is. I will provide more info if needed. Thanx Group you guys are always helpful.
To give the short version of it I have always considered myself straight and have had plenty of irlfriends. Inside I have always had an attraction to other guys and have come to the conclusion that I am bisexual but am not out to anyone.
Well a bout 6 mos ago I met a guy who I got to knwo very well and became atttracted to him almost immediately I didnt know if he was gay or not but had my suspicions. We shared so much of our own experiences and such that I knew that if ever there was someone I was meant to be with I thought it was him. One night when we were alone in my apt he asked me for a massage, so I gave him a full body massage. In turn he also gave me one. When he was giving me mine I started to instinctively rub his legs. Within seconds he turned me over and started kissing me passionately . That night we were intimate together but there was no sex.
We satrted to become even closer then sharing beds and soon began to express how much we loved each other. He said he would marry me if we could. I have never been in love beefore and I was totally wrapped up in him. I decided that I would make a big move and move in with him. Things were fine in the begining until a girl he used to like suddenly beacme available. I noticced he started pushing me away and never said I love you as much. He also started being abusive verbally calling me a fag and homo even though he said he was always palying. I started blaming myself because I htought I had done something wrong.
Well last week I could tell something was wrong and we had a serious talk. He explained that he wanted to get with this girl because he felt that he was missing an opportunity with her. He really wanted kids and thats what he kept repeating (he wanted kids). We had been having sex the last couple months and he said he felt that might have been wrong. (even though he initiated it and seemed to enjoy it a lot). In the end we decided to be just friends.
The problem is we still live together and he wants me to move with him again to a new city. He has again started kissing me and sleeping with me again sexually but no intercourse. He is now as passionate with me as he was when we first met. I am so confudsed because he wanted out yet he is still here acting like things never changed. He also still denies that he is not totally straight. Many people would think he is gay from the things he likes and does. He loves decorating,shows like queer eye and Manhunt and other stuff stereotypically gay. He also still comments on other guys bodies and even yesterday when a guy was undressing on tv he stopped and rewound it to watch it over in slow mo.
I feel he is just denying who he is and is afraid of coming out as he has told me over and over again. He says he wants children really bad and I think that is the ONLY reason he wants to get with this other girl and to please his family cause they expect him to marry this girl. He still says that I am his sole mate and he never wants that to change.
I want to be able to move on if he is not my future but I believe he is and would gladly live a secret life with him forever if I could, but I am so confused on where he stands and what he wants. I guess I am asking for advice on how to handle the situation and if I should approach him on his seemingly denial of who he is. I will provide more info if needed. Thanx Group you guys are always helpful.