Need some advice on LDRL

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by B_doogie888, Dec 12, 2008.

  1. B_doogie888

    B_doogie888 New Member

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    I don't post here much but....

    I am a 20 year old junior in college and have been in a long distance relationship since the end of highschool (around 3 and a half years so far)...for the past 6 or so months, it just hasn't felt the same as it used to feel, and franky I don't know what to do. We see eachother once a month, and when I'm wiht her I have a great time, but between visits it is terrible between being attracted to other girls and imagining her being attracted to other guys).

    I tried to end it over thanksgiving break, but she broke out into tears and I couldn't bear it, so I lied and said I thought we should at most take a break, not break up (this isn't how i felt, i just wanted her to stop crying because it was so painful for me to watch). I love her, and she is a more attractive girl than I could get here most likely (I'm not very confident, and it is a fact that she is a much more attractive person than I am and she just happened to like me in highschool because, once you break through my shell of shyness, I am very very funny). But, I find myself attracted to girls at college, and it just shoudn't be that way. She could be the hottest girl on the planet, but the distance is all it takes to numb that out...

    How do I approach this situation?
    -Doogie
     
  2. Hand_Solo

    Gold Member

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    You want to be able to be attracted to other women at college without having to worry about her being attracted to other guys in the meantime? You use the word love quite loosely in my opinion if this is even an issue.
     
  3. lgtrmusr

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    you're in a situation where guys meet lots of women, get involved in a number of relationships, and learn a lot about themselves and what they can offer and hope to get from a long term relationship in the future. Sex is part of it, but simply how you manage a close personal relationship and the issues of honesty and trust with another is another big part of the experience.Sounds like you want to do just that. A great idea.

    Your gf's tears represent her uncertainty, similar to yours, about how she will do in relationships with others. I suspect each of you will profit by dating others.

    IMO, both of you should gain experience with others before making a long term relationship with each other, if, ultimately, that's what you decide to do.
     
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