need some advice, weird situation

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by suprdave, Nov 18, 2008.

  1. suprdave

    suprdave Member

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    ok some history. this has been going on a loong time, i had a neighborhood friend, we went to school together, same classes, same bus, hung out with the same people. but we never hung out with each other. i would see him by himself and get choked up and go a different way, sometimes he would do the same. like your first crush but too shy to do anything about it. this went on for years, neither one of us would be caught together alone, its not that i hated him, it was that i had a crush on him so bad it hurt and i was afraid i couldnt control myself alone with him. the weird parts is its like he felt the same way. we were real good friends, did alot of things together but if he got too close to me both him and i would get choked up and have to walk away.

    fast forward a few years: i was going thru a real tuff time in my life and didnt get out too much so i lost touch with him. after awhile things got better and i got into bikes and cars, i'd see him here and there but never really talked to him. i was drinking with some friends one day and i was waisted and out of the blue he showed up at my house, he's never been there before, i dont remember what i said to him(waisted) but he seemed pissed and left. i moved out of state for a few years and finally returned.


    last few years: i see him around town, talk a little to him now and again. he's married now with kids but its still the same, we seem the same as we were when younger, just as few words as possible, real nervous around each other. i take his kids and a buddies kids(there friends with each other)to offroad events. he trusts me with them 100% and when i go to his house its the same, real shy, nervous. his wife wont dare leave us alone, she runs to be with us, dont know if he ever said anyrthing to her.

    i found out a while ago partying with his brother that he had a crush on me when we were younger, he got a bike so he could ride with me and my buds, a car to cruise with us but he was too nervous to make a move.
    his brother was in a bad crash and his brother sold his bike and car to help with bills and it crushed him cause that was his way to be around me, his brother told me that if he didnt make a move he was going to tell me so thats when he got the nerve to come to my house and all he ever said to his brother was i ruined it.


    what should i do? i know nothing will happen between us because he's happy being married. i just need a way to get us comfortable around each other so we can talk like normal, any ideas?

    sorry for the long post i would like some suggestions as to what to do to help us be friends again.
     
  2. nudeyorker

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    Get together with he and his wife and kids and all of your mutual friends and go bowling or have a picnic, or go to the local watering hole and talk about all the things you have in common, and share some memories and dreams and just have a great time and put the past and any uncomfortable feelings behind you.
     
  3. 8060

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    Just start fresh. You're adults now. No more kiddie crushes in the wind. You both have your lives and now you're in a position to where you can integrate them without the sexual tension. Normal-like enough? Nudie's got a great idea. I'd give it a shot. Good luck getting your friend back.
     
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