Need some help, is my ED really psychological?

Discussion in 'The Healthy Penis' started by warteo2, Apr 2, 2009.

  1. warteo2

    warteo2 New Member

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    Figured I'd ask on here for some sort of advice as I seem to be having no luck at all with my problem. Hopefully this will not be too long and will make some sense to those reading.

    Firstly, I must say I've not had sex in several years, due to my wife having a chronic illness for 6 years before finally passing away 6 months ago.

    All of the attempts at erection in the following therefore refer to masturbation.

    A little over one year ago, I started having problems maintaining an erection, but not too badly and it seemed to pass, then one day, suddenly I could not get an erection at all, this went on for 3 days before I could get a proper erection again, I recall the weather was terribly hot at the time and I was also very tired and figured that had something to do with it. I had also noticed a reduction in the volume of semen in the past several years, and roughly about the time I started having the ED (give or take some months, cannot recall exactly) sometimes when ejaculating it would feel as if "something" was blocking the ejaculation which was quite uncomfortable at times, this seems to have stopped happening now. Also in the last few years I've had several episodes of blood in the urine, most recently about 2 months after my 1st major ED scare, I had this checked out by ultrasound of the kidneys/bladder/prostate, rectal prostate exam and finally a cytoscopy, resulting in being told there is nothing serious going on, the cytoscopy revealed some fragile blood vessels in the prostate, I think the urologists report said "vascular and mildly occlusive", and the ultrasound showed the prostate as being at the upper limit of normal in size for my age.

    Anyhow, since then, the ED has gotten worse, I have asked doctors and the urologist about it and they say it is psychological, even when I tell them that I do not get proper night time erections, which are at the most 3/4 of what they should be and often less. Only one doctor suggested a physical cause and that being that it is connected to my Raynaud's disease, which seems unlikely as it does not matter what the temperature is, it still refuses to work, and the urologist stated that the blood vessels in the penis work differently to the ones in hands and feet and are not affected by this syndrome. However, I think my penis can often feel cold to touch, though the urologist says that my perception of that is probably due to anxiety about the problem. Also I sometimes feel an achy pain in the groin area, and sometimes in the penis too.

    I can still get an erection with greatest difficulty when watching porn and with lots of manual stimulation, but it does not feel like it used to (when flaccid also, feeling is different) and is easily lost, also have nowhere near the libido levels I once had just a few years ago, when I could easily cum 4 - 6 times in a day.

    So basically, I'm wondering what can I do? By various doctors I have been told such unhelpful things as "don't worry about it, you're not in a relationship so it does not matter", "you'll see, it will be alright in 18 months" and "I don't see any reason that viagra will not work for you".
    (btw, 25mg of viagra does seem to work quite well, but I'd rather return to normal function without resorting to drugs) Their only other solution is to put me on anti-depressants which I absolutely refuse to take ever again after a nightmare experience last year following only 3 doses of Effexor.

    What is your opinion? Anything else I can do, or is it really a psychological problem that will eventually resolve? I've also been tested for and found normal relating to diabetes, testosterone/prolactin levels, heart/kidney/liver problems and probably more. Only 36 years old, my cholesterol is exceptionally low, I'm not overweight, don't smoke, have not drank alcohol in ages, reasonably fit but could be better, blood pressure is about normal now after being a little high for some time due to stress although it never got to extreme levels that needed any treatment. It seems that I have no reasons for a physical cause, yet I still feel that it is something physical.

    Sometimes I'd thought that due to my situation I should not worry about the ED. But by strange chance I've been given a 2nd chance at life and met an amazing woman, I know it is in many ways too soon for such a thing and she knows it only too well also, so nothing has happened between us sexually, which is one of many reasons I'm so impressed by her. I feel I'm leading her on by not telling her about the problem I have, she deserves better than waiting patiently for me for however long it takes, before finally discovering the disappointing truth. Yet I've no idea how to tell her.

    As you can see, things are on the whole not great in my life and I'd really appreciate some input and helpful advice.

    Thanks for reading.
     
  2. redgum

    redgum New Member

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    I'm sorry you are feeling so bad. I have BPH ( benign Prostate hypoplasia) and this doesn't help my sexual performance to say the least. The pain in the groin and the partial blocking of semen or urine can be one of the symptoms of BPH. Have you had a blood test for the level of PSA ( prostate specific Antigen). OK, these prostate conditions are less common in a 36 year old but then again your ED is less common at that age too. I'll watch this thread & give it some more thought.
    Good luck
     
  3. redgum

    redgum New Member

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    I'm sorry you are feeling so bad. I have BPH ( benign Prostate hypoplasia) and this doesn't help my sexual performance to say the least. The pain in the groin and the partial blocking of semen or urine can be one of the symptoms of BPH. Have you had a blood test for the level of PSA ( prostate specific Antigen). OK, these prostate conditions are less common in a 36 year old but then again your ED is less common at that age too. I'll watch this thread & give it some more thought.
    Good luck
     
  4. warteo2

    warteo2 New Member

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    Thanks so much Redgum for your reply. I've had a PSA test done, but as yet have not got the results of that, will update in this thread as to the results when I do get them, which should be in the coming week.
     
  5. D_one lap down

    D_one lap down New Member

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    I am interested in trying to help also. Do me a favor bud, post your labs on here asap?
     
  6. drdna

    Verified Gold Member

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    Since Viagra seemed to help, this suggests a physiological process. I would suggest trying:
    1. increased aerobic exercise
    2. l-Arginine powder supplement daily
    3. regular Kegel exercises

    This said, the power of the mind is strong, and you do not need to be depressed to alter your erections. Having a prolonged asexual marriage and dealing with the psychological impact of your wife's death are the "elephants standing in the room" that everyone is ignoring. Even if you did not have this erection problem, it would be a great idea to get some proper counselling about this.
     
  7. warteo2

    warteo2 New Member

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    Thanks to those who've offered to help, is very much appreciated. Well, my doc is off today, so waiting until tomorrow for the results. Will post them when I get them.

    @drdna: Thanks for the ideas to try, I've been getting more exercise recently, though is taking some time to get back into it. Would try the Arginine, if I knew where to get it from, from what I read it seems it could be helpful.

    I'll be the first to admit that I have psychological issues to be dealt with that are certainly not helping matters at all. I would accept a diagnosis of purely psychological ED except that I do not have nocturnal erections, at least not proper ones, and whenever I read about it, I always note that "continuing to have night-time erections = psychological cause", is this really always the case or can there be times when even the night-time erections fail? I feel concerned that because of what happened in my life, doctors seem too quick to write off the cause as psychological after the results of a few blood tests are negative and wonder if they may be missing something else, for example, I have asked if there is any possibility of some sort of arterial blockage due to some abnormality, but when this is suggested to doctors, they say simply, "no, you have low cholesterol" and that is the end of it.

    Have also been seeing a psychologist as suggested, not really sure if doing so has been much help at all. Will be seeing him again later this week.

    OK, thanks again everyone!
     
  8. Eisenhower

    Eisenhower Member

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    warteo2, you've got to find out exactly what your testosterone labs were. Doctors are notorious for saying your testosterone is "fine" or "normal" even if it's at the level of a 90 year old man. This is not "fine" and there are doctors who will help you with this, they're just harder to find. Report back on your lab numbers, specifically Total Testosterone and E2 (Estradiol) if you have that on there. We can give you a better idea. No nocturnals, yet you get benefit from Viagra leads me to belive you may need to look into your hormones more than you are.

    Eisenhower
     
  9. Smartalk

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    Have you considered or tried the postage stamp test. Using a strip of perforated postage stamps rapped tightly around the base of your penis when you go to bed. If the stamps are still intact tin the morning then your problem is a physical one, however if they are torn on the perforations, then it is a psychological one. If it is the latter it is probably down to delayed reaction to the emotional trauma you have experienced.

    We think we have coped well and got through such situations, held it all together, it is when we start to relax is the time things start to affect us in many ways and in many guises. If you find to be the case with you then ask your doctor to refer you to a clinical psychologist. It really does help
     
  10. D_Betty Beanbags

    D_Betty Beanbags New Member

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    Definitely get a copy of your labs. You can request it directly from the lab where you have your bloodwork done. Don't discount hormones, they are a bitch when they aren't right. Also, have your eyes checked ~ it may sound odd but both hormonal or vascular could also be detected in an eye exam. Most people don't notice vision problems until they are substantial.
     
  11. basque9

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    Hey guy...many of your symptoms sound very familiar to me. They resonate with me because I was at your same place after lumbar and sacrum spine surgery about 7 years ago. I too had lost a mate after a prolonged illness and was not active sexually!
    I could hardly get erect masturbating or even watching porn, my semen quantity had declined and I had little libido!
    My doctors were unable to suggest any reason for this so I literally took matters in hand, with astonishing positive results! I began to jelque and I began to notice good results within a month! Suffice it to say that erections are easy now and my libido is extreme. The quantity of semen has tripled and precum is always plentiful. My prostate had been enlarged; now I am told it is small. As an extra benefit from jelquing, my cock became a bit longer and thicker and I developed almost an inch of new foreskin after being cut for 30 years!
     
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  12. basque9

    Gold Member

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    Quote: I can still get an erection with greatest difficulty when watching porn and with lots of manual stimulation, but it does not feel like it used to (when flaccid also, feeling is different) and is easily lost, also have nowhere near the libido levels I once had just a few years ago, when I could easily cum 4 - 6 times in a day.What is your opinion? Anything else I can do, or is it really a psychological problem that will eventually resolve? As you can see, things are on the whole not great in my life and I'd really appreciate some input and helpful advice.


    I neglected to say this in my previous posting to you o.p. : I look upon jelquing as a tool to tune up my sexual equipment so that whatever adversities life delivers , my cock and prostate will be better able to handle them. Better to tackle sex with a finely tuned cock than one that is disused and out of tune and practice! Good luck to you!
     
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