Figured I'd ask on here for some sort of advice as I seem to be having no luck at all with my problem. Hopefully this will not be too long and will make some sense to those reading. Firstly, I must say I've not had sex in several years, due to my wife having a chronic illness for 6 years before finally passing away 6 months ago. All of the attempts at erection in the following therefore refer to masturbation. A little over one year ago, I started having problems maintaining an erection, but not too badly and it seemed to pass, then one day, suddenly I could not get an erection at all, this went on for 3 days before I could get a proper erection again, I recall the weather was terribly hot at the time and I was also very tired and figured that had something to do with it. I had also noticed a reduction in the volume of semen in the past several years, and roughly about the time I started having the ED (give or take some months, cannot recall exactly) sometimes when ejaculating it would feel as if "something" was blocking the ejaculation which was quite uncomfortable at times, this seems to have stopped happening now. Also in the last few years I've had several episodes of blood in the urine, most recently about 2 months after my 1st major ED scare, I had this checked out by ultrasound of the kidneys/bladder/prostate, rectal prostate exam and finally a cytoscopy, resulting in being told there is nothing serious going on, the cytoscopy revealed some fragile blood vessels in the prostate, I think the urologists report said "vascular and mildly occlusive", and the ultrasound showed the prostate as being at the upper limit of normal in size for my age. Anyhow, since then, the ED has gotten worse, I have asked doctors and the urologist about it and they say it is psychological, even when I tell them that I do not get proper night time erections, which are at the most 3/4 of what they should be and often less. Only one doctor suggested a physical cause and that being that it is connected to my Raynaud's disease, which seems unlikely as it does not matter what the temperature is, it still refuses to work, and the urologist stated that the blood vessels in the penis work differently to the ones in hands and feet and are not affected by this syndrome. However, I think my penis can often feel cold to touch, though the urologist says that my perception of that is probably due to anxiety about the problem. Also I sometimes feel an achy pain in the groin area, and sometimes in the penis too. I can still get an erection with greatest difficulty when watching porn and with lots of manual stimulation, but it does not feel like it used to (when flaccid also, feeling is different) and is easily lost, also have nowhere near the libido levels I once had just a few years ago, when I could easily cum 4 - 6 times in a day. So basically, I'm wondering what can I do? By various doctors I have been told such unhelpful things as "don't worry about it, you're not in a relationship so it does not matter", "you'll see, it will be alright in 18 months" and "I don't see any reason that viagra will not work for you". (btw, 25mg of viagra does seem to work quite well, but I'd rather return to normal function without resorting to drugs) Their only other solution is to put me on anti-depressants which I absolutely refuse to take ever again after a nightmare experience last year following only 3 doses of Effexor. What is your opinion? Anything else I can do, or is it really a psychological problem that will eventually resolve? I've also been tested for and found normal relating to diabetes, testosterone/prolactin levels, heart/kidney/liver problems and probably more. Only 36 years old, my cholesterol is exceptionally low, I'm not overweight, don't smoke, have not drank alcohol in ages, reasonably fit but could be better, blood pressure is about normal now after being a little high for some time due to stress although it never got to extreme levels that needed any treatment. It seems that I have no reasons for a physical cause, yet I still feel that it is something physical. Sometimes I'd thought that due to my situation I should not worry about the ED. But by strange chance I've been given a 2nd chance at life and met an amazing woman, I know it is in many ways too soon for such a thing and she knows it only too well also, so nothing has happened between us sexually, which is one of many reasons I'm so impressed by her. I feel I'm leading her on by not telling her about the problem I have, she deserves better than waiting patiently for me for however long it takes, before finally discovering the disappointing truth. Yet I've no idea how to tell her. As you can see, things are on the whole not great in my life and I'd really appreciate some input and helpful advice. Thanks for reading.