need some parent advice

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by surferboy, Jan 31, 2009.

  1. surferboy

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    ok, so i started this college year last august as a teaching major, yah? but my dad and step dag have been naggin me for get in the medical field. so, i changed my major and this term, i began anatomy & physiology (and lab) and medical chemistry (And lab).

    i've gotten 2 100s in my anatomy lecture quizes. but that was stuff i learned in jr. high. i have my first official kine test coming up tuesday, yah? and i honestly think i'm not gonna do well. i'm giving it to midterms before i withdraw though (if i don't do well)

    here's the problem. my dads were stoked i went into medicine, yah? even today, my dad was telling me about how much money crna's make. the problem is, i honestly don't like what i'm doing. i'm not a science person. i'm thinking of going back into my teaching major, but i don't want them getting disappointed in me.

    my step dad's main thing is money. personally, i don't define success in money. i dunno how i'm gonna break it to him. yes, i'll be going through more school going back in education than i would becoming a respiratory therapist. besides, they only take 30 students a year, and there's a waiting list.

    but i don't wanna feel bad for disappointing him, plus i don't feel like hearing "you need to go back into medicine" "look how little teachers make!"

    what he doesn't know is that teachers back on o'ahu make pretty decent money, and that there's maybe a 100-200 dollar a month difference between RTs, RNs, and teachers.

    this is so fuckin annoying :frown1:
     
  2. ManlyBanisters

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    Grow a pair of balls and do what you want to do - not what someone else thinks is right.

    This is your career - you need to be doing something you like.
     
  3. nudeyorker

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    You only have one life...do what makes you happy!
     
  4. B_Hickboy

    B_Hickboy New Member

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    Follow your bliss.
     
  5. pym

    pym New Member

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    It does depend greatly on who is financing your entire existance too.
    A freebird pays his own way.
     
  6. D_Chaumbrelayne_Copprehead

    D_Chaumbrelayne_Copprehead Account Disabled

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    Hey, the only regrets I have from when I was your age are the times I listened to what other people wanted to do instead of following my heart.
     
  7. Novaboy

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    I know a lawyer who curses everyday he goes into work. He did what his parents wanted him to do and not what he wanted to do.

    Live YOUR life, not theirs. Good luck
     
  8. OCMuscleJock

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    You've got to be happy in your chosen profession or you'll be miserable the rest of your life...regardless of how much money you make. Go with your heart. I read somewhere that like 70% or more of the people that go to college do not end up working in what they went to college for anyway.
     
  9. Not_Punny

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    My older brother is dead (suicide) because he wasn't allowed to follow his career choice.

    Later, many years later, my mother tried to get me into a career that I didn't want. Fortunately, I didn't let her manipulate me, and I am now doing well at what I chose to do.

    A parent who is an asshole about a child's honorable career choice doesn't deserve the label of parent.

    Follow your heart.

    They'll get over it (you're not following THEIR dream).
     
    #9 Not_Punny, Jan 31, 2009
    Last edited: Jan 31, 2009
  10. B_Hickboy

    B_Hickboy New Member

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    One piece of advice: If you are interested in doing a certain thing, don't seek the counsel of people who aren't in your chosen field. Nobody can assess your aptitude better than a person who's already doing it for a living.

    I have few regrets in my life, but one of the biggest ones is that I wanted to be a musician and followed a plumber's advice about it.
     
  11. jason_els

    jason_els <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    Do whatever you want. Most people will change careers 3 or more times in their lives and, as noted, most people never do anything in the field they studied. You are entering the working world during a time of enormous upheaval. The person who does well in the coming economy will be flexible, able to work for himself, study across disciplines to have multiple employment opportunities, and likely not be working for a traditional employer. Your parents are thinking of your financial welfare and that's great, however healthcare as a field is disintegrating and will soon be completely overhauled. There are no guarantees of money in healthcare even if you are a doctor.

    Do keep in mind that people who love what they do tend to do very well at it and earn good money for the field. If you keep your head out of the consumerist mentality of two cars, two kids, and a mortgage, you should be just fine. Your parents are, I'm sorry to say, operating on some obsolete premises. Just thank them for caring so much and do your own thing.
     
  12. vince

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    I have to agree with the other posters. My first degree was in something my parents wanted more than I did. It took me a lot of time to get my education sorted to where is was useful to ME.

    That said, be gentle with your dads as well. They obviously love you and have an interest in what you do and want the best for you. Be sure that whatever you chose, you have a passion and an aptitude for. I just got off the phone to my 21 yo daughter who chose a field of study she doesn't really like. But she is so close to graduating she has to finish it now. She has to figure how she can use what she has done so far, to get into what she really wants.

    I don't agree with what pym said about who's financing your existence having a say in what you study. How you study and where you study.. yeah ok, they get a say. But not what you study. It's your life. Do what you think is best.
     
  13. CUBE

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    Ahhhh youth. Everyone thinks jobs are so fucking different from each other. Most jobs, are desk jobs, get one were you make money and people treat you well...happieness is mostly about that at work.
     
  14. pym

    pym New Member

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    You took that out of context.
    When i was 17 my parents tried to steer my life in the direction THEY thought best also.
    They held the purse strings at that point in my life.
    And i seriously rebelled at that.
    And so i joined the NAVY @ 17 years old. And as i described.....have paid my own way ever since.
    It's fine to make your own choices.....if someone else doesnt have to pay for them.
    I 'manned' up about that at 17. And have worked myself up from that to a masters degree and a sucessfull career.
    Comes a time, we all do.
    Just a matter of when.
     
  15. canuck_pa

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    If your parents really care about you, they'll encourage you pursue your chosen career and will support you either financially or emotionally.

    We spend a great deal of time working, why not so something that interests you.
    I know here in Canada teachers are paid quite well. They also can retire at 55 with a full indexed pension as long as they have enough years of teaching.
     
  16. NCbear

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    Think strategically. Do what you like, yes, but also what will earn you money.

    Case #1: Humanities professor
    Do what you want? Yeah, I like to read books. OK. And I enjoy thinking (and talking) about the interconnections of art, culture, history, and literature.
    Will it earn me enough money to have a house someday and be financially all right? Well, considering that there are far more Masters- and PhD-prepared individuals being churned out per year than there are jobs, and this has been going on for several decades, the answer is NO because the fields are incredibly saturated.

    In 2000, the job postings each received over 800 applicants for ONE position. That ratio has gotten worse. It will get even worse now that university budgets are shrinking and retirees' positions will be phased out just after they walk out the door.

    So I might be one of those lucky one in 800 who actually get the tenure-track job, but then again, I might not. I might actually find an alternate career that could make me some money. Librarian, or nonprofit management, or similar. (In my case, grant writer and university research administrator.)

    Case #2: Medical doctor
    Do what you want? OK, I get it. I want to help people, solve interesting diagnostic problems, work in a high-stress but immensely satisfying environment, influence meaningful outcomes, whatever.

    Will it earn me enough money to have a house someday and be financially all right? Maybe not immediately, because malpractice insurance is skyrocketing and so is the cost of student loans for medical school, but by and large, it's possible to make some significant cash as a medical doctor after some time spent trudging through the trenches.

    Bottom line: It's not as romantic as E.R. and other shows make it seem. It's hard work, and the scripts you're handed aren't always funny or even pleasant. How do you tell someone they have cancer? Or their kid has an incurable disease?

    Case #3: Entrepreneur
    Do what you want? Absolutely. Every second of every day, I'm fulfilling my dream of taking my idea to the market.

    Will it earn me enough money to have a house someday and be financially all right? Well, now, there's a lot of risk--I might misjudge the market, it might not be ready for me, my idea might not be fully developed, I might invest too much time/energy/dollars before I can start making money, etc. But if I'm successful, the payoff's HUGE. I could start a company or even a new industry.

    ___

    To me, these are the kinds of questions to use to begin an analysis of your career plans. (NOT your "life" plans or your "happiness" plans, because those should be separated somewhat from your career plans.)

    Think of timeframes: "I should have accomplished Goal X by Year Y," for example.

    And then think of alternatives: If the field I've trained to enter has suddenly become obsolete, or saturated, what can I do with those skills, that knowledge, that training? Can I redirect it? Can I, when life closes a door, go out one of the windows?

    NCbear (who found a window--and an alternate career path--after concluding he didn't want to be a homeless ex-wannabe-humanities-professor)
     
  17. vince

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    Sorry, thanks for the explanation. But there really wasn't much context to take. I think, or at least what I've done, is let my kid make her own choices within reason. Even if I didn't agree with them, I have financed her education. No student loans, just her work, a trust account and some extra cash when needed. She has made mistakes, yes. But she has learned somethings as well. Sometimes she was right and I was wrong. She took a year off, which I was opposed to. But I see now, that that was absolutely the right thing for her. And I've told her so.

    By the time a young person is 20, a parent should give advice, but should back off from pushing their own agenda.
     
  18. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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    Here's another consideration, Nix. Who's paying for your education? I have a feeling you are (with a little help from Uncle Sam.)

    If that's the case you have nobody to answer to but yourself.
     
  19. got_lost

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    Holy fucking crap!
    I don't know if I wish you were my father or my lover!:mad:
     
  20. MickeyLee

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    i wouldn't mind curling up on his lap and calling him Daddy.

    ml
     
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