As many of you know my wife lost her job due to being pregnant, we then lost my son christopher at 17 weeks. When shani lost her job she also lost her blue cross and blue shield, when the company she used to work for finally sent the cobra it was so ridicully expensive we had no choice but to decline. Thank god the state of alabama atleast gave us medicaid but that runs out 6 weeks after the child is born, or in our case still born. Up till now even though we`ve gone through some horrific circumstances our faith has been strong. You see my wife was born with a cerebral avm,(arterio venou malformation) in other words she could have died giving birth and she chose to take that chance to bring my son into this world. Well if things couldn`t seem to be any worse even though are love is strong, when the medicaid runs out we`ll be out of insurance. This means if her avm acts up my wife will not get the care she needs which means she could die. Oh yeah, the er will take her but that doesn`t mean she`ll get the care she`s been getting since she found out about the avm when she was 16. Lately she`s been getting really bad migrains which was what happened a year and a half ago before we got together, she had a bleed and was in the hospital (UAB in birmingham) where she whent under the gamma knife and recieved cobalt 60 radiation. She recovered thank god or i would have never met her and married her, back then her companies insurance covered the procedure. If that doesn`t seem like enough shit for someone to go through know this, when we got together we both had been at war with our demons from losing a loved one, she had lost her fiance who was a cop who was killed in the line of duty and i had lost my wife in a car accident. This is the fu***d up part if all that wasn`t bad enough, are finances are at the end, shanis been out of work of course, and i`ve stood by her in the hospital and at home taking care of her, we spent a wad of cash on the kids for x-mass because we didn`t want them to think anything was wrong hoping my bids would start coming inn after x-mass. Well not one bid has come back and i feel like i have become a failure as a husband, we`re almost broke and all the bills are due. Shanis scared and i don`t know what to tell her except that we need to hang on to our faith. I`m so ready to get my family out of alabama, we`ve had nothing but rough times here for both of us, i told her that i`d love to take her out west since she`s never been and i`d like to do it before something happens with her avm and i lose her. I knew when i got with shani her health problems but that didn`t stop us from falling in love with each other, we both know how precious life is and that no one is garenteed tomorrow. I keep hoping in my heart that we`ll pull out of this, my biggest fear is that i`ve failed the new family we`ve put together. I know in my heart things will get better in time but please if you read this do me a favor and send my wife a card letting her know it`ll be ok, to keep the faith. We don`t have anyone but ourselves and the people here at lpsg, i know it seems like alot to ask for you to send a card because i know we`re not the only ones up shits creek but i want my wife to know that we`re not really alone in the world and that there are those out there who care about our family. You`d think with everything we`ve gone through are faith would be at it`s peak but sadly we`re feeling as though god has abandoned us. This is the p.o. box Chris and Shani LaFever P.O. Box 12877 Huntsville, AL. 35815 lafever P.S. Shani doesn`t know i`m doing this so it`ll be a big surprize for her, maybe she`ll realize and know that we`re not alone and that we`ll get through all of this. Also, god bless everyone here at lpsg, know that whatever you`re going through that i`m here for you too.