Need your support

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by lafever, Aug 18, 2007.

  1. lafever

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    My girlfriend has been lieing to me, at first she said she was ok with lpsg, it went from that to tearing me a new one, i sat down and talked to her about it, we had a heart to heart talk. She said that she was sorry and that the reason she was acting that way was because she was starting her period, she lied. She`s been psycho for days, i tell her that you`all are my friends, nothing more or less. She doesn`t believe me, that or i`m just not allowed to have any friends, only her, i`m feeling like a prisoner in my own home, she used to be a correctional officer and i feel like she`s purposely trying to intimidate me to the point where she wants to dominate my every move, already i`ve given up all my friends where we live because of her. I`m happy with my friends here because i know that you`all really are my friends. I asked her to make me one promise when we got together, that we`d always be friends first and lovers second, she`s broken that promise, she`s not treating me like a friend anymore, she`s treating me like one of her prisoners from the old job. Theres nothing i can say to her anymore, she doesn`t listen to me. she keeps cumming up with excuses for her behavior, just a minute ago she was going to walk out the door, she`s trying to get me to play her game, that didn`t work so then she says we`ll just break up then, that didn`t work so then she`s gonna get drunk and take a bunch of pills, that didn`t work so then she says why dont you just leave, that didn`t work so then she tells me no body wants me, that didn`t work so she starts telling me how i dont love her, despite the fact that i cook for her, clean the house for her, bring her drinks, wash her clothes, take care of all the pets, go to work, spend loving moments with her on the couch watching romance movies, look into her eyes and smile, yet she wants more, it`s like i`m not giving her enough. What more can i give, when i`m not on the computer she`s on the computer talking to her friends, i never say a word, nodda, ziltch. She`s getting so overpowering and controlling that i`m at my witts end, it`s like i`m just waiting for the straw on the camels back to break, everyone has a breaking point. It`s like i`m realizing this is who she really is and she cant hid it anymore, we`ve been together for 10 months now, i guess thats as long as she could put on an act for me. I`m truly crushed, i never get with someone for shits and giggles only if i see potential for a long term relationship that could lead to marriage. Whats messed up is that i`ve given up so much for her, and that might be where i made my mistake, changeing who i was for her, because of who she wanted me to be. Now that i`m trying to get myself back she`s on the rampage, like a little kid who hasn`t got there way. I have one princess in my life and thats my daughter. She`s draining me mentally, physically, and spiritually. It`s like she`s trying to break me, to tear me down to nothing where i have no self worth or self esteem. Thats the way i had started to feel after getting with her, it`s like it was her plan all along, now she saying to me you`ll find someone who`ll give you what you need, also she`s playing the race card, because she`s black, if she could just hear herself. Oh, now she`s pulling out the i was adopted card. If she would just quit blaming people, places, and things and look at her self we might get somewhere. She`s pointing her finger at me and what she fails to realize is that she`s got four fingers pointing right back at her. Now she`s mad because i`m sharing this, oh, now its theres no such thing as me and you. I`m not allowed to get others opinions and talk to friends about what i`m going through. Ok, now she`s realized what i`m doing, so she feels exposed, now she says type it all you bastard, you`ve gone too far. She doesnt want to look at herself so i`m making a record of it so she can read what she`s said to me. I want her to look at her actions. I love you guys and thanks for being there for me. I`ll never give up who i am again for anyone, i`ll be your friends till the life of breath is taken from me, i`ve hurt enough friends allready for her. Oh, now she`s gonna put a lock on the computer and turn off the internet. Whatever happens i`ll be back here no matter what.


    lafever
     
  2. SensualGoth

    SensualGoth New Member

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    she feels threatened....

    I would be happy if my b/f would join the site but he's a very busy man. He barely has time for me.
    I'm very understanding. I'm on here to support people and I joined because my g/f told me about the site. I am also on here now because I want to know more about what I'm in for with my man lol....

    I hope everything works out for you....
     
  3. jason_els

    jason_els <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    If it's your house then tell her to get out. She's treating you like an inmate. If it's not your house then pack-up and leave. Find a friend with a couch or sleep in the car. That's all you can do. No therapy is going to repair this relationship. It's toxic.

    One of you has to get out before it escalates to violence.
     
  4. lafever

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    Right now i`m just biteing my tong, i don`t want to say anything to her that i might regret, no matter how she treats me i`m going to be kind to her, and treat her how i`d like to be treated. Right now she`s takeing pictures of her self to put on her site. I`m all for it, since i give her all my support and love, i hope she`s not just trying to do it out of spite though, that would be for the wrong reasons, i`m not the jelous type, lifes too short. But know this, i am taking all your suggestions to heart, i appreciate them emencly, i need all the advice from my friends i can get so i can make a rational decision thats not based just on what i think, i could be in the wrong so i have to give her that chance of probability, plus it wouldn`t be fair to her if i didn`t seek solutions rather than dwell in the problem, thus feeding on them, and in the end making a rash decision. I wouldn`t want someone to just run off from me without first trying to find a solution that could restore the peace.

    lafever
     
  5. B_ScaredLittleBoy

    B_ScaredLittleBoy New Member

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    I've only ever had bad experiences 'introducing' lovers to LPSG or telling them about. It must be the curse of LPSG :tongue:

    I don't know what to tell you. I mean all women are psycho but you seem to have found an especially psycho one.

    I would get out and find someone less 'touched' :biggrin1:
     
  6. SpoiledPrincess

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    It sounds like she's adding pictures here as a tit for tat thing, something that's never good in a relationship. She's jumped from one manipulating behaviour to another, and that's what she's going to do whenever she can't get her own way. You should talk to her and tell her you love her, but that any partners need a separate part of their life as well as the life they share, and that if she can't accept that then you'll have to part. You seem to be coping ok with this behaviour now but imagine 20 years of it, and it will escalate because every time you accept it you give her permission to do it. Tell her firmly you joined this site, she was happy for you to join it and you're getting up to no wrong here, just enjoying chatting and finding some support. If she can't accept that you need some areas of your life where she isn't involved then you're right she's a controlling bitch and if you let her control you in this after being so successful at getting her own way in this she'll move on to another area until you don't have any control over your own life.
     
  7. love2showoff

    love2showoff New Member

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    I thikn you have to sit down again and look at each other and say if this is how we are now where are you going to be 5 years from now. Relationships are hard work and if you both can't find middle ground when you communicate because someone is holding back for whatever reason that is not fair to either of you. Never be afraid to be single or worry about what will happen if we no longer cohabitate.

    On the bright side it is good that you two found these snags now before a pending engagement or marriage!

    There are a lot of good books on the shelves about M/F communication in relationships. "Tantric Secrets for men" is a great one, but she and you have to be willing and open to personal growth.

    best of luck
     
  8. IntoxicatingToxin

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    This relationship does sound pretty toxic. I think you crossed the line back when you gave up all your friends for her. That's just plain stupidity, if you ask me. Here's a question for you... do you know who she talks to on the internet and what they talk about? The only reason I ask is... if she is doing something over the internet that is wrong, and then you start spending a lot of time on the internet, she'll assume that you're doing the same thing she is doing. Maybe she feels a bit guilty! But no matter what, she needs to get over it. It's just a fucking website. My ex and I were both on here at the same time while we were together, and it never caused any rifts at all. You need to stop allowing her to control you.
     
  9. Osiris

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    OK, rule one of relationships...

    NEVER GIVE UP YOUR FRIENDS FOR ANYONE! END OF!

    If your mate can't deal with your friends, that is very telling. My wife doesn't lke all my friends, but she would never tell me to ditch them and she even goes out of her way to find levels she can accept them on. THAT is how a true souls mate should work.

    Now, being black, I despise people who arbitrarily pull the race card. I see it every day. It's people who do that that have set the case for those truly being persecuted back decades. It falls on deaf ears.

    You still see something in her obviously or, I hope you would, have gotten out by now. It unfortunately sounds like you are at the rubicon of your union. There is no turning back. Your only choice is to sit down and talk and REALLY talk. Not for ten minutes, not as you are running out the door to work, but sit and talk for as long as it takes to get all the issues out on the table and at least a game plan to work on them. If you can't accomplish this, I think you know what needs to happen next.

    Keep this in mind:

    No one will take better care of you than you. If you find that person who does, keep them close always.

    I know that is why my wife is here today. And yes, I understand as my wife is white and I am black and we too went through some of these things, just not on as dramatic a level. Mainly because we talked it out.

    Good luck man.
     
  10. Mem

    Mem
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    It looks like she is trying to brainwash you, and keep you from people who will help you see the light. You can't live you life walking on eggshells for her.

    RUN, LEAVE, GO

    Look at what you wrote. I highlighted the best parts.

    Now. if someone asked you if they should stay after reading what you wrote what would your answer be?

    With a (girl)friend like her you will NEVER need enemies.

    p.s. Please create a new pararaph every 3 or 4 sentences. I was getting a headache trying to read your post. You have alot to offer the right girl, you are handsome and have a GREAT cock. Does this cunt girl have diamonds in her pussy?
     
  11. Mem

    Mem
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    I'll put it more bluntly. You have lost your fucking mind. Should you stay with her? I know it can be tricky and hard to leave a situation, but you must. She is trying to keep you from people who she knows will tell you just how worthless she is.

    She will not change.

    She is the reason that many black men turn to white women. They can not handle strong black woman.

    But your cunt bitch is not strong. she is weak and taking advantage of you.
    I am at the point that I am mad at you for staying.
     
  12. RedScrotum

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    She needs a good hard fuckin'
     
  13. Osiris

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    It's not that some of us can't handle a strong black woman. It's the games they play, the drama, and the double standards. All but 3 of the black women I dated were guilty of this and that is why I left.

    Lafever, if you have had that talk I suggested? Mem is right, run, don't walk. Stop being a victim and be stronger than to allow yourself to be dominated. As you pointed out, she is a corrections officer. Some of these guys I've known are REALLY good at head games. Nuff said.
     
  14. naughty

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    Workin&#039; up a good pot of mad!
    Lafever,

    I am so sorry you are going through this. It sounds as if this person has some serious issues and at the very least needs counselling and even medication. But ....that does not mean that you need to be there for it. One good thing is that you are not married to her at this point. I am sure your feel paralyzed because of the strength of her reactions to things but you may need to try to find a way to back out of this. A person who is indulging in alcohol and drug abuse is not stable as you are witnessing. Is your daughter with you at this home? If so then it is very important for you to find a way to get out of there.

    Osiris and Mem0101,

    I read back through the poster's initial comments and didnt see any references to black women. Perhaps I over looked it, but be that as it may I am sorry that both of you seem to have had horrible experiences with black women. THere are probably many reasons for the experiences you had but, as well all know, no one group of people are monolithic. I do hope you are happy with whoever you have ultimately found to be a part of your lives.

    P.S. I found it. Wow that makes me sad. Lafever. I do hope that you will not think all black women are like this particular woman. I am sure there are many who have problems but as we have heard from stories on this site instability comes in a multitude of colors. It is part of living in the world.
     
  15. Osiris

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    He mentions in that rather long paragraph that she is "playing the race card because she is black".

    I apologize if it sounded like I hated all black women. I had 3 great relationships with 3 very wonderful black women and they didn't work out for other reasons none of which pertained to race. I am a lover of all women, I just find that there is unfortunately a gross disparity between the well rooted, strong, secure black woman and the pushy "I'm black and you'll do as I say" type that seems to be the growing norm in most areas. We talk a lot about mentoring our young black men. Maybe we have failed our young black women when they see the likes of Lil Kim as a positive role model. If they have to pattern after a diva, I'd rather a Mary J. Blige. :smile:

    Please accept my apology Naughty if I offended. I did not mean to in any way.
     
  16. SensualGoth

    SensualGoth New Member

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    you nailed it....

     
  17. arliss

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    please understand that I am not trying to offend.but I reallly feel that you and your girlfried need therapy.....I really do not have the time nor the patience to really get involved in this one but just look at some of the reasons I've outlined..what strikes me as really really odd is that you have given up your day to day friends for lpsg friends because you really know that these people are your friends..dude get a grip and get to a therapist...you and your girl....
     
  18. Mem

    Mem
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    I have had two black women as BEST friends in my life. One was a mix of black and Japanese.

    I said "She is the reason that many black men turn to white women. They can not handle strong black woman."

    I should have said "she is the reason why some black men turn to (fat, blonde) white women. They can not appreciate a strong black woman."
     
  19. naughty

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    Workin&#039; up a good pot of mad!

    Gracias, Mi Amor...

    I got it! :biggrin1:
     
  20. Osiris

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    Being as I have a white, blonde wife and I made the statement about my black experience, I guess I deserved it. However not all of us go for fat and blonde. My wife is HARDLY fat and if she sees the thread, I'll make sure she goes easy on you.:smile:

    Naughty and I had a little chat about this. It's not strong black women. It's pushy game playing women that men do not want to deal with. A strong secure black woman (a la Naughty) is not only rare, but highly sought after.
     
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