My girlfriend has been lieing to me, at first she said she was ok with lpsg, it went from that to tearing me a new one, i sat down and talked to her about it, we had a heart to heart talk. She said that she was sorry and that the reason she was acting that way was because she was starting her period, she lied. She`s been psycho for days, i tell her that you`all are my friends, nothing more or less. She doesn`t believe me, that or i`m just not allowed to have any friends, only her, i`m feeling like a prisoner in my own home, she used to be a correctional officer and i feel like she`s purposely trying to intimidate me to the point where she wants to dominate my every move, already i`ve given up all my friends where we live because of her. I`m happy with my friends here because i know that you`all really are my friends. I asked her to make me one promise when we got together, that we`d always be friends first and lovers second, she`s broken that promise, she`s not treating me like a friend anymore, she`s treating me like one of her prisoners from the old job. Theres nothing i can say to her anymore, she doesn`t listen to me. she keeps cumming up with excuses for her behavior, just a minute ago she was going to walk out the door, she`s trying to get me to play her game, that didn`t work so then she says we`ll just break up then, that didn`t work so then she`s gonna get drunk and take a bunch of pills, that didn`t work so then she says why dont you just leave, that didn`t work so then she tells me no body wants me, that didn`t work so she starts telling me how i dont love her, despite the fact that i cook for her, clean the house for her, bring her drinks, wash her clothes, take care of all the pets, go to work, spend loving moments with her on the couch watching romance movies, look into her eyes and smile, yet she wants more, it`s like i`m not giving her enough. What more can i give, when i`m not on the computer she`s on the computer talking to her friends, i never say a word, nodda, ziltch. She`s getting so overpowering and controlling that i`m at my witts end, it`s like i`m just waiting for the straw on the camels back to break, everyone has a breaking point. It`s like i`m realizing this is who she really is and she cant hid it anymore, we`ve been together for 10 months now, i guess thats as long as she could put on an act for me. I`m truly crushed, i never get with someone for shits and giggles only if i see potential for a long term relationship that could lead to marriage. Whats messed up is that i`ve given up so much for her, and that might be where i made my mistake, changeing who i was for her, because of who she wanted me to be. Now that i`m trying to get myself back she`s on the rampage, like a little kid who hasn`t got there way. I have one princess in my life and thats my daughter. She`s draining me mentally, physically, and spiritually. It`s like she`s trying to break me, to tear me down to nothing where i have no self worth or self esteem. Thats the way i had started to feel after getting with her, it`s like it was her plan all along, now she saying to me you`ll find someone who`ll give you what you need, also she`s playing the race card, because she`s black, if she could just hear herself. Oh, now she`s pulling out the i was adopted card. If she would just quit blaming people, places, and things and look at her self we might get somewhere. She`s pointing her finger at me and what she fails to realize is that she`s got four fingers pointing right back at her. Now she`s mad because i`m sharing this, oh, now its theres no such thing as me and you. I`m not allowed to get others opinions and talk to friends about what i`m going through. Ok, now she`s realized what i`m doing, so she feels exposed, now she says type it all you bastard, you`ve gone too far. She doesnt want to look at herself so i`m making a record of it so she can read what she`s said to me. I want her to look at her actions. I love you guys and thanks for being there for me. I`ll never give up who i am again for anyone, i`ll be your friends till the life of breath is taken from me, i`ve hurt enough friends allready for her. Oh, now she`s gonna put a lock on the computer and turn off the internet. Whatever happens i`ll be back here no matter what.
lafever
lafever