Needing Help With Measuring

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I need some advice on how to actually measure my dick. It seems that I really can't get an accurate number ....and it seems to differ on the way I measure it. I have been asked in the past and now by my wife....how big my dick is and I honestly don't know how to answer.
 

thickcockjames

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Doesn't matter how you measure it, almost everyone here will say you're doing it wrong. haha.

If I remember all the rules, I believe they are as follows. (someone can correct me if I'm wrong)

1-must be standing
2-the measuring tool has to touch your pubic area, not be pressed into it. If you do press the measuring tool into your "pad" then it's called Bone Pressed and that doesn't count I guess. haha.
3-have to use a ruler, not a measuring tape...not sure why on that one.

I'm pretty sure most guys here are measuring bone pressed with a tape measure sitting down, so it doesn't matter. haha.
 
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DiomedesXVI

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I prefer tape measure over ruler, because a ruler is rigid and straight. Penises are rarely perfectly straight, many have downward, upward, left or right curves, meaning that a rigid ruler measurement will be inaccurate. Tape measures can better follow the contours of the penis.
 

Mike hung

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As @thickcockjames has said
Use a ruler to measure along the top when you're standing with it touching your pad, and engineers ruler is best as the end of the rule starts at zero from the edge.

Girth wise use a tailor's tape measure to measure around the circumference of your dick keeping the tape tight.

But as already said for some reason people here especially women still seem to have a problem, you can only do your best and take several pictures from various angles is my advice.