nervous and need advice!

sares

Experimental Member
Joined
Jun 26, 2006
Posts
426
Media
0
Likes
21
Points
163
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Female
this thread makes me sad down into my toes

please tell me you have orgasms already, from whatever things you do together... please. what Nitrofiend said is exactly right: "How horny you make him is no indicator of how the sex will be." it may make you feel very powerful to control his arousal like that, I agree, it's a rush when someone is turned on by you. but guys -- especially young guys -- get turned on very easily. you should be more worried about what turns YOU on.

I fear you are signing up for a lifetime (okay, let's be honest, a few years) of mediocre sex, and as a virgin, you won't even know the difference. it's heartbreaking. please, at least explore yourself and know what YOU want before you start thinking about him.

a woman who is a good lover is a woman who knows her own body. otherwise you are just a cum dumpster... a receptacle. yeah, he'll jack off using your pussy. but you won't be a real participant unless you get your cookie too.
 
K

kundalinikat

Guest
Yeah, are you honestly so concerned about your ability to please him? You already turn him on with a breath to the ear, he gets carried away easily, etc. It sounds like you're really worried about your ability to take pleasure in yourself. My advice is to masturbate, which if you aren't/haven't... there's no excuse, because you can't expect another person to know how to turn you on if you can't always recognize it in yourself.
 

dkmilker

Experimental Member
Joined
Jan 11, 2006
Posts
161
Media
0
Likes
9
Points
163
Location
Portland, OR
Sexuality
100% Gay, 0% Straight
Gender
Male
I would like to assume that you are for real, but I am having trouble here. To be 19 and not even know what a hand-job is....well I'm sorry. That just seems beyond sheltered to me.

On the otherhand, I TOTALLY support a pre-marital celebacy vow. At least as far as intercourse is concerened. Because, as we all know and are loathe to acknowledge, birth control is NOT and probably never will be 100%. And no smart girl would risk pregnancy before marriage. I must add that if I were King Of The World I would outlaw marriage before the age of 27. That said, I think you are on the right track. And since when is a woman like a car?? PLEASE. Test drive??? Shame on you! Any couple who thinks they are compatible enough to marry should be abe to overcome any challenges in the bedroom.
I think you need to get clear on what your religious prohibitions are. What do you consider "sex" to be. Are you primarily concerned with pregnancy or sexual intimacy? There are a bizillion ways to have fun, sexually, without risking getting pregnant. I do agree that you would be well served by giving yourself a few brain crushing orgasms all on your own before you get involved with someone who has more experience than you. It's not just about what you can do for him. This has to be a two way street. Learn what rocks your world!
 

OmahaBeef

Experimental Member
Joined
Mar 6, 2006
Posts
999
Media
0
Likes
7
Points
183
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Male
sares said:
this thread makes me sad down into my toes

please tell me you have orgasms already, from whatever things you do together... please. what Nitrofiend said is exactly right: "How horny you make him is no indicator of how the sex will be." it may make you feel very powerful to control his arousal like that, I agree, it's a rush when someone is turned on by you. but guys -- especially young guys -- get turned on very easily. you should be more worried about what turns YOU on.

I fear you are signing up for a lifetime (okay, let's be honest, a few years) of mediocre sex, and as a virgin, you won't even know the difference. it's heartbreaking. please, at least explore yourself and know what YOU want before you start thinking about him.

a woman who is a good lover is a woman who knows her own body. otherwise you are just a cum dumpster... a receptacle. yeah, he'll jack off using your pussy. but you won't be a real participant unless you get your cookie too.


AMEN!!!!


OmahaBeef
 

Nitrofiend

Experimental Member
Joined
Jun 28, 2006
Posts
892
Media
0
Likes
16
Points
163
Sexuality
No Response
Gender
Male
dkmilker said:
On the otherhand, I TOTALLY support a pre-marital celebacy vow. At least as far as intercourse is concerened. Because, as we all know and are loathe to acknowledge, birth control is NOT and probably never will be 100%. And no smart girl would risk pregnancy before marriage. I must add that if I were King Of The World I would outlaw marriage before the age of 27.
If you were King of the World, we'd still be in the Dark Ages. Sexual chemistry is not something that can be tossed together in an improvisation, and must be evaluated before you spend the rest of your life with a person. Even in Medieval Times women had sex before age 27. That's completely impractical -- did you grow up on a farm in Utah or something? While I do believe that marriage should only be for two devoted adults with stable incomes, are you implying that children born out of the institution of wedlock and their respective mothers are all fundamentally flawed?

dkmilker said:
That said, I think you are on the right track.
To disappointment, anxiety, and general misery.

dkmilker said:
And since when is a woman like a car??
You need to put the key in the ignition to start her up, she's got headlights of her own, she's often high maintenance, and she tends to generally lose value with mileage. Nuff said...:p (note to the trigger-happy ball-busters: I love women, the preceding was a JOKE).

dkmilker said:
I think you need to get clear on what your religious prohibitions are.
The irony and hypocrisy of that statement together would make a good bullshit sandwich.
 

dkmilker

Experimental Member
Joined
Jan 11, 2006
Posts
161
Media
0
Likes
9
Points
163
Location
Portland, OR
Sexuality
100% Gay, 0% Straight
Gender
Male
Nitrofiend said:
If you were King of the World, we'd still be in the Dark Ages. Sexual chemistry is not something that can be tossed together in an improvisation, and must be evaluated before you spend the rest of your life with a person. Even in Medieval Times women had sex before age 27. That's completely impractical -- did you grow up on a farm in Utah or something? While I do believe that marriage should only be for two devoted adults with stable incomes, are you implying that children born out of the institution of wedlock and their respective mothers are all fundamentally flawed?


Do you think the only "real" sex is vaginal intercourse? Your concept of sexual chemistry seems to be focused entirely on the mechanics of sexual acts. Couldn't you tell how the chemistry is from making out and engaging in heavy petting? Do you need to make sure she grinds her loins just right before you commit to marriage? Besides, I never said I didn't believe in long engagements. My main point was that a woman should avoid pregnancy until she is in a committed, stable relationship and avoiding intercourse is the only 100% method of avoiding pregnancy. Furthermore, I do think there is a fundamental flaw with regard to premarital pregnancy. The flaw is in the womans ability to make wise, far-sighted choices and take responsibility for her reproductive capacity. The children of these women are not flawed at all but are, instead, frequently cheated out of a stable life with consistent care from a familiar adult. More often than not, they end up in 9 to 5 daycare. As well, they often lack the benefits of financial security because their short-sighted mothers didn't realize that children are fkng expensive and tend to take over your life. Shall we also talk about how many women think men are great sperm donors and generally good for child support payments but are relatively dispensable as influencial parents?
Finally, I'm gonna lay it right out here. Any woman who thinks that she's got a man who's committed to her, should bring up the subject of marriage. If he doesn't want to talk about marriage and you still think he's committed to you, then your a damned fool.
I don't think there's anything wrong with keeping it light and just seeing where a relationship takes you. As long as you're keeping your eyes open and are reading the signs.
 

nystrongstroke2

Experimental Member
Joined
Jun 29, 2006
Posts
36
Media
4
Likes
14
Points
153
babygirl19 said:
we do that.... i think we get as close to having sex as possible without doing it...

a hand job will do the trick,its just how u do it.If u truly trust urself then i can tell ya of a way a female friend of mine did it to me.It was out of this world and the best damn hand job i've had till this day-it was better than some of the head i gotten.Me and her were really close in high school,and we only had 1 class together-spanish class.Anyway we would flirt around alot during class,and 1 day she passes me a note saying that she got wet instantly thinkin of diffrent ways to make me cum.I go to her house after school and we started kissin and rubbin.We had been at it so long my dick got kinda knumb-like i could fuck through bricks.she bends over and tells me to come on-i'm so damn excited cuz i think its finally gonna happen.When i mounted her-she grabbed my dick and started rubbin it on her clit-and with the juices from her pussy she used it to jerk me off with.so here i am poundin away at her hands-but she was so wet it felt like the real thing.once i stopped strokin or slowed down she picked up the slack.to be honest it was as if we had sex although i didnt penetrate-she got off a couple of times wit my dick rubbin against her clit-and i came heavy all over her ass.damn i got a stiffy writing about it
 
  • Like
Reactions: AlteredEgo

dkmilker

Experimental Member
Joined
Jan 11, 2006
Posts
161
Media
0
Likes
9
Points
163
Location
Portland, OR
Sexuality
100% Gay, 0% Straight
Gender
Male
Kotchanski said:
dkmilker said:
Oh how narrowminded do you want to be? Get real, you think that the only stable way to raise a child is with 2 parents? How about all the abusive relationships women stay in because they were once happily married but the stresses of family life have turned her once caring and devoted man into a drunken wife beater? or the other way round? What about all those women who are happily married until their man walks out on them leaving them holding the baby? Is the only way forward to give up their child to a couple, childless and desperate for a child?

You are one of those people that, for some reason, think all opinions and assertions barr all exceptions. Of course, single motherhood is preferable to subjecting yourself and your children to violence or any type of abuse. I was speaking of women who think single motherhood is just as fine a lifestyle choice as 2 parents family life. If a man deserts his family, how is that her fault? Why would anyone blame her for her circumstances?
When you read the word "some" do you see "all"? Or when you read "frequently" do you see "always"? I think you do!
 

bluekarma

Expert Member
Joined
Apr 13, 2006
Posts
828
Media
3
Likes
146
Points
208
Sexuality
90% Straight, 10% Gay
Gender
Female
Let the dry humping begin.....:tongue: ......just kidding.

I don't agree that having sex before your married will ensure a perfect sex life (i.e. - test driving, etc) once your married. At your age your body and your sexuality (what you like or think is gross) is going to change a million and one times. You really need to explore and find out what you like before you worry so much about what you an do to please him. I got married at 18 and had lots of sex with hubby before we ever got married, and yet here we are 6 years later trying to figure out what is missing in our sexlife. Sure we have great sex nearly everyday....but we both still feel shortchanged a lot of the time because we each have needs that aren't being met - simply because as we 'grew up' everything changed. It basically boils down to all your ideas of sex as well as your preferences shifting and morphing as you get older and more experienced with your own body. With that said my advice would not be to wait until your married to have sex, instead have lots of sex and wait to get married.

I am in agreement with whoever said people should not get married until they are 27 (or whatever). Until then it is highly unlikely that you have a clue of what you want or need. It is all just lusty hormones (which are great) but don't withstand the long haul when your talking about binding yourself to one person forever. You've got to be on the same level, or at the very least be willing to accept whatever level your partner is at. Then and only then will you have a fulfilling and monogamous sex life.

At any rate, good luck with your decisions, your the one that has to live with them!
 

babygirl19

Just Browsing
Joined
Aug 5, 2006
Posts
13
Media
0
Likes
0
Points
146
Location
Dallas, Texas
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Female
ok. maybe i should tell more details to help yall understand. i'm pentacostal. im 19. my bf is 26 and married with 1 daughter and 1 due in 5 days. so he's not getting sex at home. but he's also really insecure about imself because his bitch wife doesnt pay him any attention. he's been up her but for 8 years tryin to get her to pay him the time of day. but he would never go after another girl because he's too insecure about himself. i had to chase after him. so i know he's not getting sex anywhere else either. because of those reasons, and because the wife i freakin psycho. he gets off work at 5, and by 530, she's called him 8 times. cause she wants him home to cook dinner for her fat ass. and clean. and do freakin everything for her. so he hasnt had sex in 9 months. so im not worried about that. but i was raised in a very strict home in a very small town with a bunch of people like my parents. so i wasnt expoed to anything until pretty much late in high school. cause i also wasnt allowed to date untl i was 17. i was pretty sure i knew what a hand job was, i just wasnt 100% sure. so no need to jump on my back because i didnt learn the things you knew when you were 7 until i was 17. but anyway, we wont be married for a while cause he still has to wait for a while after the baby comes. cause that would be messed up to leave now. but yea, maybe those details will help yall understand me a little better
 

vanden_thomas

Just Browsing
Joined
Jun 24, 2006
Posts
22
Media
0
Likes
0
Points
221
Location
Korea
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Male
Wow. OK. Run away! Run far away!

Go to college. Experience life. Don't even THINK about getting married until you have graduated, had many many orgasms (not necessarily through sex with a guy (or girl)), and have dated at least a few guys (and/or girls).

Seriously, your situation is fucked up. You're trying to do right by your religion by abstaining from intercourse until you're married yet you're in this fucked up relationship? Open your eyes.
 

sares

Experimental Member
Joined
Jun 26, 2006
Posts
426
Media
0
Likes
21
Points
163
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Female
he's a father married to someone else and you're calling him your f'n fiance? JESUS GOD you silly girl. why don't you try dating someone who isn't married already. what you have here is a dude who is getting less because his wife is pregnant, and boom, it's giving him a wandering eye. just the sort of guy you want! NOT.

and yeah, by the way? married guys who want some on the side OFTEN claim that their wives aren't giving them any, to get sympathy... and they also tell their mistresses that they are going to leave the family and marry the mistress. and then guess what?

they don't.

this is so common that it is a cliche, honey. please, get a real boyfriend, not a screwed up adulterous loser with TWO FREAKING KIDS.
 

sares

Experimental Member
Joined
Jun 26, 2006
Posts
426
Media
0
Likes
21
Points
163
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Female
also

babygirl19 said:
but he's also really insecure about imself because his bitch wife doesnt pay him any attention.

POOR BABY WAH

do you honestly believe that his side of the story is the only side? oh my goodness, the things you would learn if you talked to his wife.

babygirl19 said:
but he would never go after another girl because he's too insecure about himself. i had to chase after him. so i know he's not getting sex anywhere else either.

1. you silly cunt, why are you chasing a married man?

2. did you know no man in the history of time has EVER told a bunch of lies for sympathy, then played hard to get to draw in an innocent girl? NEVER! it NEVER happens!

babygirl19 said:
because of those reasons, and because the wife i freakin psycho. he gets off work at 5, and by 530, she's called him 8 times. cause she wants him home to cook dinner for her fat ass. and clean. and do freakin everything for her.

OR she knows he's fucking around on her! imagine that!


you really are the most ridiculous thing to have fallen off the turnip truck recently, I will give you that
 

sares

Experimental Member
Joined
Jun 26, 2006
Posts
426
Media
0
Likes
21
Points
163
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Female
................hey wait a minute.

this chick's avatar was Britney Spears at first.

and now... she's describing a "homewrecking" much like BritBrit did for K-Fed and Shar Jackson.

I am beginning to smell the bullshit, Y'ALL.
 

curious n str8

Experimental Member
Joined
Nov 10, 2005
Posts
913
Media
6
Likes
8
Points
163
Age
33
Location
The big AK
Sexuality
99% Straight, 1% Gay
Gender
Male
sares said:
................hey wait a minute.

this chick's avatar was Britney Spears at first.

and now... she's describing a "homewrecking" much like BritBrit did for K-Fed and Shar Jackson.

I am beginning to smell the bullshit, Y'ALL.
Sares you are truely wise beyound beleif :hail: :tounge-in-cheek: