Nervousness? How to overcome?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by D_Leotols Toy, Aug 14, 2009.

  1. D_Leotols Toy

    D_Leotols Toy New Member

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    I was just wondering if there was anyone out there who used to have nerve problems and then over came and how they did it?

    When in front of a crowd or put on the spot, I tend to get really nervous, shaky, and start to sweat, which is what pisses me off most cause it's gross.

    I ended up getting overwhelmed trying to serve at a restaurant cause I got too nervous and I just want to get over it so I won't avoid situations like these just due to the fact I know I'll get nervous.
     
  2. carlton10

    carlton10 Member

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    Sounds like you are full of anxiety and get panic attacks. Go to the doctor and try some anti-anxiety meds.
     
  3. nudeyorker

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    I suggest that you look into a public speaking course.
     
  4. D_Relentless Original

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    Yeah, i had to do that, my sweats and shakes turned into stress related anxieties, headaches, tense neck pain and vertigo. It really is an awful situation to be in. speak with your GP for advice before medication is needed mate.
     
  5. Incocknito

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    The answer lies somewhere in between.

    You need to pay attention to your thoughts. Are you thinking about a situation before it happens; and thinking of the worst scenario?

    If you stop imagining the worst you will find that what actually happens is much less bad and may even be good.

    Also, speak slowly and choose your words carefully. That may be the most important thing. You may even come off as "mysterious" lol.
     
  6. D_Tintagel_Demondong

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    I had a Generalized Anxiety Disorder from the age of 18 to about 27. It was almost unbearable. It was so bad that I developed adrenal fatigue. I had such bad shock syndrome that I couldn't hold a cup of coffee in the morning due to my shaking hands.

    I didn't take anxiolytics because they made me very dizzy, but they might work for you. If you are extremely anxious then they really just take the edge off.

    Like you, I got nervous from anticipation. I would know that an anxiety/panic attack might happen in a certain situation, so I'd get nervous just thinking about that. Eventually the anticipation itself would lead to a panic attack. In this situation, distraction is your best friend. Don't let it reach the point of no return; do anything to keep your mind busy.

    What really saved me was my budding tennis 'career'. I became obsessed with it and did about three hours of on-court training every day... along with the off-court cross-training, nutrition, strategy, etc. Tennis kinda saved my life.

    I now have very mild anxious depression. It's highly tolerable, so I am off of all related medication. I have dealt with my past demons and I learned how to handle stress. I don't expect to ever be on those meds again.

    My advice to you: get medication that controls your anxiety but also see a shrink. You aren't crazy, but a psychologist or psychiatrist can help you get to the cause of your problem. It did wonders for me.

    I feel great now, and you will too.
     
  7. D_Leotols Toy

    D_Leotols Toy New Member

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    I don't think it's as bad as to need medication, but I'm 19 years old and my brothers and dad just insist it will come with experience to get over it. The last post by incocknito hit the nail on the head.

    I picture the worst, and I over think about a situation before it happens. Never done anything embarrassing and always well spoken during speeches, it's just the moment that leads to it. That's what sucks, I just need to figure out how to pay less attention to it and just let it happen.

    My mother also is the anxiety-type and often stresses over EVERY little thing and often at times I think I picked it up from living with her because she cannot lead her life without freaking out about something. Puts quite the stress on my life when I attempt to lead a normal 19 year olds life.
     
    #7 D_Leotols Toy, Aug 14, 2009
    Last edited: Aug 14, 2009
  8. D_Leotols Toy

    D_Leotols Toy New Member

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    I actually just read some things on anxiety and what seems to be the best description, is social anxiety. It's not severe enough to keep my from avoiding situations like this as I know I have to do them eventually so I usually suck it up, but I tend to think people are watching what I'm doing and judging me or that I will humiliate myself, which I've yet to do, ever.

    As far as medications go, benzos scare me because drug addiction runs rampant in my family and I'm already doing well by avoiding alcohol and smoking, another addiction that haunts my family. I did read about Beta blockers that can help with physical symptoms like sweating and shakyness. I took a pharmacology class and know a little about them, but never heard them for the use of anxiety, anyone know anything about this..?

    Sorry for the double post
     
  9. nudeyorker

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    The whole world thinks that a pill will solve everything. Humor me and look into a Public Speaking class and let me know.
    Thanks!
     
  10. D_Leotols Toy

    D_Leotols Toy New Member

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    Alright, I have a friend who took it and she's always been good with talking to whoever, whenever, so maybe it helped her. I just want the sweating to subside and I could talk myself out of the other thoughts, but sweating never fails.
     
  11. nudeyorker

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    The choice to me seems simple, take a pill and mask the issue or be proactive and take the steps to understand and overcome the issue. Let us know what you decide.
     
  12. D_Leotols Toy

    D_Leotols Toy New Member

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    Proactiveness seems to be the winner. Thanks Nude
     
  13. nikebasketball18

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    Have some confidence in yourself. At the beginning of your shift, focus on performing one task particularly well. (Like remembering who ordered what drink.)

    That should take your mind off your nervousness, ensure happy guests, and provide excellent service. After a few shifts of focusing on one task to perform particularly well, you will have also built self-trust.

    Good luck dude.
     
  14. blooeyz

    blooeyz New Member

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    I speak in public for a living.
    I had the same problem.
    .25mg of xanax immediately prior to the situation will help a lot
    Then once you get experience, you don't 'expect' the feeling and then you don't get it and you will no longer need the med. practice, practice, practice
     
  15. D_Chaumbrelayne_Copprehead

    D_Chaumbrelayne_Copprehead Account Disabled

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    I gotta give props to nudeyorker here. While there are definitely times when a little chemical help is needed, meds often won't help whatever underlying reason there is for anxiety.

    There are good therapists who can help with this, too. Couldn't hurt any of us to learn more about ourselves and how we work. Then, it's easier to choose to do things that will feel good, instead of automatically getting caught up in ways of thinking or acting that make us feel bad.
     
  16. D_Beau Nerr

    D_Beau Nerr New Member

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    I really suggest you see a psychiatrist of it's severe to calm your nerves then a psychotherapist for counselling.

     
  17. rob_just_rob

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    I stopped caring about what (most) other people thought of me.

    Fake it 'til you make it.
     
  18. bigbull29

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    You overcome fear by not overcoming it: you drop the rope, feel it for what it is and learn to relate to it differently (thoughts are just thoughts, sensations are just sensations, etc). That's we call "mindful acceptance." Read about it. It may just change your world. It's changing mine.

    If you continue to do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got.

    Best of luck, buddy.
     
    #18 bigbull29, Aug 14, 2009
    Last edited: Aug 14, 2009
  19. D_Chaumbrelayne_Copprehead

    D_Chaumbrelayne_Copprehead Account Disabled

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    Actually, what Andy168 describes was pretty much what I did.

    I was in therapy for PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) with raging awful depression as a part of it.

    My therapist really knew what she was doing, but the depression continued unabated. In me, it had some sort of chemical component. I saw a psychiatrist purely for an Rx ... that's how I was on depression meds for probably two years while I worked through stuff in therapy.

    I was close to suicidal in the early 2000s, but haven't needed meds in about 4 or 5 years, and am happier than I ever have been ....... because I stuck with therapy and worked through some ugly shit that I needed to face.

    However ... without the meds for depression, I probably would not have had the energy or focus to face what I did. So, I needed both.

    Severe anxiety that limits your life may well be similar. There may be things you have to work through to lose the anxiety. And you may need to take the edge off the anxiety with meds ... temporarily ... to do what you need to do.

    Not an expert, here ..... just a dude who's been through it.
     
  20. FuzzyKen

    FuzzyKen New Member

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    I was a working professional musician for a number of years. It was this that launched the business from which I have at least temporarily retired.

    Because I did a great deal of solo work, "performance anxiety" went with the territory. What I did to overcome it was to deliberately force myself to do it more and more.

    My basic personality is in fact extremely shy and to this very day I do not basically enjoy crowded situations or large groups of people. In my secondary school years my shyness literally became a handicap.

    If I were to get back at the keyboard of a large concert grand piano or sit at the console of a very large pipe organ these days, I can guarantee you that I would again go through a living hell for a period of time until I realized that sitting on that bench was not going to kill me.

    When I was dealing with audiences, what I started to do was to pick out a single person in the audience and do my narration mentally as if I was directing it to that single individual. I also started to direct my music mentally as if it was being done in my living room and was being performed for a single individual. When I was studying both Law and Music in College I had to take a ton of Psych courses. I spent some time in the office of one of my Psych Professors on just this very subject. He was a great guy and because I had to perform as a soloist (by virtue of what I played) he gave me a ton of tricks to do which would assist me in overcoming this kind of anxiety.

    The best thing I can tell you is that if you work on it, it will definitely get better and all of a sudden, even if you're a shy person by nature, you will begin to be able to deal with situations which create any form of performance anxiety.

    My friend, believe it or not there are many very famous people who have shared your type of anxiety.

    My only suggestion is to try everything you can to avoid using a chemical solution to a non-chemical problem. As a musician, I discovered that medications that would work to calm me down, would destroy my performance. In the bedroom, these same medications in some individuals have the ability to cause physical performance problems, and that would only make your feelings far worse.

    Feel free to PM me and I will do what I can for you on an individual basis. Im not a psychiatric professional, but, I am a total basic introvert who sat on a performance stage at the Hollywood bowl many years ago performing an extremely technically demanding classical piano composition with an orchestra dressed in black and myself in a spotlight in a white tux. My friend, I am here to tell about it and if I relay to you personally how I survived that and prospered because of it, it may help you a great deal.
     
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