New and Have a Problem.

Discussion in 'New Member Introductions' started by Imported, Aug 11, 2003.

  1. Imported

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    NateWA: I'm a 21 y/o male, newly married. Both me and my wife are virgins. The problem I am having is that my wife refuses to have sex with me, sure we do other things, but she claims I'm too large and she will not let me hurt her no matter what. After browsing this forum a bit, I realize that I am much larger than most guys, but most of you seem to have very little problem convincing your lovers to try you out and though I myself am unexperienced, I know from reading here that women can accept almost anything injury-free if care is put into how it's done. I feel very bad having been married for a month now and still being a virgin. Any advice would be helpful, thank you.
     
  2. Imported

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    prepky: ok first off, what size are we talking here?? and also maybe have your wife read some on this site, so that she will see that she will not be in "pain" evertime you have sex, sure the first few times will be uncomfortable, however, like you stated, take your time and go slow, using oral sex to get things primed and maybe a finger or two to loosin things up...then proceed very very slowly, and if she says to stop then do so that she can adjust then move forward at her will and remember this is your wife, not some one night stand, she will be with you hopefully for a very long time!!

    hope this helps
    Prep
     
  3. Imported

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    NateWA: A bit over 11 inches long erect, about 8 inches soft. As far as width goes, just over 3 inches across.

    I will try and talk to her about reading through this site. Maybe she can find some other females to talk to who can reassure her from the female gender perspective.
     
  4. Imported

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    FrenchOnion: Tell the dodo to knock it off. I recollect reading a record of a woman who could fit a football in her with room to spare. This being stated and that (at least it used to be), a marriage isn't legal until the marriage is consumated, that is, you two aren't married until she stops this irrational behaviour.
     
  5. Imported

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    AnonyMs: FrenchOnion - my oh my - what a remarkable supportive and compassionate reply. If he follows through on your way of thinking, perhaps he can hit her over the head first and render her unconscious before doing the deed!

    jiminy cricket! "dodo" indeed!!!!

    Nate - your size is enough to make even the most experienced woman hitch up her belt and think to herself, "all righty then - got some work ahead here!" There are many many posts addressing this particular issue. I concur perhaps the two of you reading them together might prove worthwhile. Have her IM me if she would like.

    I wish you well, my friend. Do you have older brothers who are similarly endowed with whom you might broach this topic?
     
  6. Imported

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    rikter8: What??!! No Nookie Before the Wedding?
    No Sample the grapes before taking them home??
    NO Finger in the frosting before Eating the CAKE??!!

    Wow....now, Congradulations on the Marriage...but
    If she refuses to sex...where is your/her pleasure?

    you guys deserve a TON of credit if you are happy W/O sex..but how long can you hold out before either you or her need sexual healing?

    How bout some of the Lovely Ladies on here Chime in and give their support?

    I believe the other folks that have spoke are correct, I think if you take your time, it will fit.
    Criminy!  Women give birth thru that hole and its 8 LBS, and a LOT bigger than a mantool :)

    Also, if it is any consolation...Im gay, and I can fit a 11" pecker in my manhole. Now thats a LOT tighter (I'm a tightass - pun intended) than a Vagina.

    If it hurts, stop.  It can't kill you.
    This might also help quite a bit:
    Learn the art of Massage.  
    I know that I open right up with a guy with firm hands on my back.
    Welcome to Foreplay - use it to the Max.
    Your Wife will love you for it, and you will enjoy pleasing your wife in ways you never thought possible.
    (She might even let you build that shed you've been wanting, and room to park that 66 GTO - tip: ask while giving the massage at near tantric level)

    BONUS!

    Corey
     
  7. Imported

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    FrenchOnion: I do say anonyms, I greatly enjoyed your comment about me.
     
  8. Imported

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    kyle: Okay, Nate, here's the skinny. No sex in marriage is a dealbreaker. Put it as nicely or as directly as you like to your wife, but she's completely out of order. If she wanted a best friend, she should have said so before saying "I do".
     
  9. Imported

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    awellhungboi: Hi Nate! Welcome to the LPSG . . .

    Sounds to me like you and your wife should consider talking to a marriage counselor, sex therapist, or, someone in the clergy. Considering your wife is, as you say, a virgin, it seems understandable she'd be nervous. Pressuring her, I feel, is the last thing you'd want to do. I disagree with the folks here who are telling you that you need to give her an ultimatum: 'You better have sex with me, or the marriage is over!'--sounds like a surefire way to find yourself living in your car.

    Talk to each other. Be gentle, patient, understanding. Take it a step at a time. But, seriously, talk to someone you know and trust. But please do let us know how it goes! I hope you and your wife have a long, happy, pleasurable life together!
     
  10. Imported

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    NateWA: I appreciate the responses, thanks all!

    While I do not plan on delivering an ultimatum, or clubbing her over the head and dragging her to my cave for the activity as AnonyMs joked about, I have her convinced to come look at this site a bit. Hopefully that will help her.

    Thank you once again all.
     
  11. Imported

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    7x6andchg: NateWA-

    You may even wish to have her IM AnonyMs as she suggested - she can then, in private, get a woman's perspective on the issue.

    While we've moved past the rather barbaric idea that a marriage isn't complete without consummation...I think your relationship would be that much stronger WITH it.

    7x6&C
     
  12. Imported

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    sammygirly: People!

    You dont end a marriage because there's a problem - goodness. You work on it. I'm disappointed in the response to this thread!

    Except my Nony of course, who is a breath of fresh air as always.

    Same, your wife may IM me if you'd like - I'd be happy to talk to her away from the judgemental eyes of the crowd
     
  13. Imported

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    7x6andchg: I didn't say he should end it over sex alone - I merely said that it would be that much stronger with it... :( I don't think one can argue that any relationship is strengthened with intimacy of any sort, no?

    Trying to be a "nice guy" here...

    7x6&C
     
  14. Imported

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    awellhungboi: I didn't say he should end the marriage, Sammygirly.  In fact, I stated quite the opposite.  I said they should work on it, and advised patience and understanding on his part.

    Having been in a similar experience, and being in love with someone who would not have sex with me because of my size, I can tell you from experience that nothing is worse than sitting by yourself going, "I wish I hadn't said that."
     
  15. Imported

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    gigantikok: I agree with you guys (monstro and 7by6), and I don't think either of you were out of line at all (you are an extremely nice guy, 7by6).  Don't worry what Sammy says, everyone is entitled to their own opinion (no matter how "disappointing" it is to you, Sammy).

    This issue isn't black or white.  The marriage cannot be ended over merely not being able to have sex.  Talk is important, as certain others have stated.  However, the wife (in my opinion) sounds extremely closeminded and unfair.  Who would keep their husband sexually inactive after a month of marriage because he was a little too big?  It sounds absolutely ridiculous for her to not even have let him try.  I can understand the fear, but there's something called trust and commitment.   It is part of your marriage vows, maybe your wife should re-read them.  Reading up on this website and talking to a marriage counselor should help, unless she is absolutely unreasonable.  If that is the case, it is up to you (and you only) what you decide to do... :-/
     
  16. Imported

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    gigantikok: shit, posted this by mistake!! DAMMIT, i wish the "delete a post" option was still around!!!
     
  17. Imported

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  18. Imported

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    sammygirly: ~chuckles~ You know I love ya Paul, and Monstro your advice was some of the soundest so far.

    My comment was aimed more at statements such as:

    "Tell the dodo to knock it off"
    "No sex in marriage is a dealbreaker."

    Gigz, you can remove all the text from a post you dont want to stay up even if you can't delete it.

    This is a forum for support, and he didn't ask how to end his marriage - he asked for support in helping fix this issue.  As to: Who would keep their husband sexually inactive after a month of marriage because he was a little too big?

    ...someone who is afraid.

    Not necessarily purposefully stubborn, or not in love with her husband, or even just being selfish...just afraid and in need of the right information.
     
  19. Imported

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    awellhungboi: Whew. Thanks, Sammy. I didn't think those were very cool or supportive comments some of those guys made either. And I'm sure Nate's wife would greatly benefit from your and Anonyms' sage advice. :)
     
  20. Imported

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    joe22xxx: Nate and others,
    I have relatives who are married and don't have sex. I have friends who are married and have a lot of sex. I know many married women and men who want to be together for a million reasons; maybe because they love each other and find some real connections that they want to explore. I used to think that they all were suppose to have a certain kind of sex life or share certain emotions. I don't think there are any rules in why folks are together. Each couple has to figure out what their relationship is in the context of love,sex,children,personal ambitions and desires. It's a process, and not one size fits all. (That was a little joke at the end!)
     
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