New Book Thinks Straight Men Who Fuck Men Are Not In Closet

[Capitolhillguy]

EDGE Media Network :: Are Straight Men Having Gay Sex Closeted? This Prof Thinks Not in Provocative New Book
I tend to agree with his point of view after doing erotic massage for 34 years.

 

[Rutherruther]

I took a look at the article, while I have not gone as far as sex, I would say it holds up to be true. Let’s just pretend I have a friend who fools around with straight friends. They like it, the male bonding, the pact in secrecy, the helping each other out, but then they go on to be straight and even more assured in their preferences, etc. Like if a male masseuse start teasing the D, gave a happy ending or started sucking.... you might indulge that even as a straight guy.

 

[malakos]

This seems like just playing with words to me. Two men having sex with each other is a homosexual act, simply by definition.

Are all homosexual acts "gay"? Not if "gay" involves something more than homosexuality, which it might. Perhaps it requires identity as well, or some kind of self-consciousness. But if "gay" is taken as essentially such a kind of identity, not just behavior pattern or a disposition of one's passions, then there would be no sense in discussing gay sex beyond what a gay person sees as an expression of his/her identity. It would also follow that plenty of same sex sexual acts are homosexual, but not gay. In that case, "homosexual" would really be what describes what is intrinsic to the kind of act, not "gay". And if this were so, then there would still be no difference between what "straight" men do when they have sex with other men.

Every man who has sex with another man is doing the same sorts of things, and is doing them because other men have some sort of sexual appeal for him. In that respect, some instances of homosexual sex being "gay" and others not doesn't mean anything coherent or relevant. The underlying problem seems to be equivocating on the meaning of "gay", and not grounding the term down in a specific, consistent sense.

 

[CURIOUS_8]

EDGE Media Network :: Are Straight Men Having Gay Sex Closeted? This Prof Thinks Not in Provocative New Book
I tend to agree with his point of view after doing erotic massage for 34 years.

Good find

 

[Triasco]

This seems like just playing with words to me. Two men having sex with each other is a homosexual act, simply by definition.

Are all homosexual acts "gay"? Not if "gay" involves something more than homosexuality, which it might. Perhaps it requires identity as well, or some kind of self-consciousness. But if "gay" is taken as essentially such a kind of identity, not just behavior pattern or a disposition of one's passions, then there would be no sense in discussing gay sex beyond what a gay person sees as an expression of his/her identity. It would also follow that plenty of same sex sexual acts are homosexual, but not gay. In that case, "homosexual" would really be what describes what is intrinsic to the kind of act, not "gay". And if this were so, then there would still be no difference between what "straight" men do when they have sex with other men.

Every man who has sex with another man is doing the same sorts of things, and is doing them because other men have some sort of sexual appeal for him. In that respect, some instances of homosexual sex being "gay" and others not doesn't mean anything coherent or relevant. The underlying problem seems to be equivocating on the meaning of "gay".

I agree with parts of your post. You've come to emphasize what the problem with the labels of "homosexual" and "heterosexual" have come to mean and represent. At one time, both were descriptions of behavior, not identity, but, over time, we came to conflate the two. I think using the labels as part of identity can be fine because a culture has emerged that wears the label proudly after centuries of persecution. But it's still problematic in the sense that it limits the way we think and talk about human behavior and how we relate to each other into narrow terms that have difficulty encompassing the incredibly broad and nuanced spectrum of humanity.

I personally just tell people I like who I like, and I think that holds true for everyone. I think there's a difference between physical or sexual attraction and romantic or emotional attraction, which can often be a difference between men who have sex with men. I haven't read the article, but now I'm tempted to check it out to see if the writer actually seems to be trying to expand the space where people can exist comfortably without labels.

I'll also say this: why are men who have sex with men accused (the diction is intentional) of being gay far more often and more aggressively than women who have sex with women are of being lesbian? I think the double standard is obvious indication that there is more going on here that we should give thought.

 

[bigboaster]

I'll also say this: why are men who have sex with men accused (the diction is intentional) of being gay far more often and more aggressively than women who have sex with women are of being lesbian? I think the double standard is obvious indication that there is more going on here that we should give thought.

There isn't much thought needed. It's toxic gender stereotypes and norms. Women are not seen as sexually dominant. They are seen as the "lesser" sex and often more capable of loose sexuality.

Men are seen as the more dominant sex and are often expected to be strong and masculine at all times. Hence why gay men are way more demonised. That's the real issue here not "being accused of being gay for same sex acts". It's boils done to the homophobia. The disgust for male-male sex. While lebsians are sexualised and enjoyed by straight men. They often think it's just a phase or fun for women bc for a long time women were not even expected to enjoy sex. Sex was about the pleasure of men. Women were just there to fulfill the role, not have a sex drive or enjoyment.

The same rule applies to trans people as well. MTF trans women have been much not harshly demonised and made scapegoats vs FTM trans men who often are totally ignored (except by terfs).

Let's face it. Men have far more stigma against them identifying as gay or bi vs women. Why else do you think year after year despite supposed increased tolerance. The gay male population only increases by miniscule margins.

 

[bigboaster]

I mean this is not consensus by any means but I don't fundamentally disagree? Being gay or straight or bi are just modes of identification. So of course these guys will identify as whatever thhe wish and that's fine. I think there is just a lot missing subtext as to why men would prefer to identify as straight vs gay bi or closeted. Maybe he delves into this more in the book but without that additional angle I find the concept pretty shallow

 

[3403861]

I was once very naive about sexual orientation. I had strict definitions of what is and what isn’t gay. I now know for a fact that authentic heterosexual men can achieve sex with another man. If closeted gay men can fake having sex with wives, and producing kids with women, what fool believes it’s physically impossible for heterosexual men to do the opposite? We also know there are tons of heterosexual men who are attracted to the femininity of some Trans women but would NEVER let another identifying male touch him....These debates can get very contentious so I’ll just leave it at that for now.

 

[Rutherruther]

I was once very naive about sexual orientation. I had strict definitions of what is and what isn’t gay. I now know for a fact that authentic heterosexual men can achieve sex with another man. If closeted gay men can fake having sex with wives, and producing kids with women, what fool believes it’s physically impossible for heterosexual men to do the opposite? We also know there are tons of heterosexual men who are attracted to the femininity of some Trans women but would NEVER let another identifying male touch him....These debates can get very contentious so I’ll just leave it at that for now.

That is very rational and well said. If I had patronizing star stickers I’d give one. But no. That is very well grounded and sound. I’m glad you think such. I have met people with defined definitions, unable to see anything else. This must equal that, this equals that-no else! I wish I could list all the times I was very unimpressed by how many times I have heard the inflexible definitions of sexual orientation. Were it up to some people, they would place others in the wrong box

 

[3403861]

That is very rational and well said. If I had patronizing star stickers I’d give one. But no. That is very well grounded and sound. I’m glad you think such. I have met people with defined definitions, unable to see anything else. This must equal that, this equals that-no else! I wish I could list all the times I was very unimpressed by how many times I have heard the inflexible definitions of sexual orientation. Were it up to some people, they would place others in the wrong box

Thank you kindly..... I’d just like to make an amendment to my prior comment if I may.

While I know authentic heterosexual men can achieve sex with other males I do not believe in “sexual fluidity “...
If we allow these terms to become commonplace we [ the LGBTQ community] give strength to bigots who believe in sending gay youth to “sexual conversion therapy.” I believe human beings are born with authentic sexual orientations of gay or straight yet they can perform the “act” of sex with both genders without changing the biological component.

 

[TouchMeHere]

I do not believe in “sexual fluidity “...

I believe human beings are born with authentic sexual orientations of gay or straight ...

I'm sexually "fluid." I was born with a bisexual orientation. Sometimes I've been straight, sometimes I've been gay, but I've always been bisexual. I'm equally comfortable going back and forth as it suits me. My sexual fluidity is an unchanging aspect of my whole person.

 

[3403861]

I'm sexually "fluid." I was born with a bisexual orientation. Sometimes I've been straight, sometimes I've been gay, but I've always been bisexual. I'm equally comfortable going back and forth as it suits me. My sexual fluidity is an unchanging aspect of my whole person.

Well thank you for informing me. Do you believe you’re a minority within a minority? How often do you meet people who are “truly bisexual?”

 

[TouchMeHere]

I go by

Well thank you for informing me. Do you believe you’re a minority within a minority? How often do you meet people who are “truly bisexual?”

I go by the Popeye Rule... I am what I am, etc....

 

[elklindoxxx]

Dr. Joe Kort who argued that "when straight men have sex with men it's not a gay thing, it's a guy thing."

This is his opinion...if you ask me, guys having sex with other guys is a gay thing.

 

[twoton]

Every guy I’ve ever met who did “guy things” was gay.

And I’ve never met a straight guy who did “guy things.”

 

[DiamondJoe]

EDGE Media Network :: Are Straight Men Having Gay Sex Closeted? This Prof Thinks Not in Provocative New Book
I tend to agree with his point of view after doing erotic massage for 34 years.

Men will fuck almost anything...

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1s8pq5/guys_of_reddit_whats_the_weirdest_place_youve/

 

[DiamondJoe]

Every guy I’ve ever met who did “guy things” was gay.

And I’ve never met a straight guy who did “guy things.”

Wot no bisexuals? Oh, maybe you've not fucked enough straight/"straight" men yet.

 

[DiamondJoe]

Dr. Joe Kort who argued that "when straight men have sex with men it's not a gay thing, it's a guy thing."

This is his opinion...if you ask me, guys having sex with other guys is a gay thing.

Don't necessarily buy this outdated, gay, very dismissive binary. Sorry.

Men who have sex with men - Wikipedia

 

[DiamondJoe]

Well thank you for informing me. Do you believe you’re a minority within a minority? How often do you meet people who are “truly bisexual?”

What, like myself? From time to time but then I'm not really looking.

You think we're mythical or something?

 

[DiamondJoe]

If it's one thing I've noticed about bisexuality, it's that gays are far less welcoming than straights. For some strange reason.