Isn't that a bit of a cop out? You're firstly suggesting that there are degrees of hate and harm that everyone understands, subscribes to and is affected by equally! Is that even possible?
Second, suggesting that bi people are in some special category that can be poked but you can never actually harm them perpetuates the culture - just as mother in law jokes perpetuate a misogynist culture. The "it's just banter" defence is a bit old fashioned.
Thirdly, plenty of the comments on the thread do speak of a problem that gay men have with bisexual ones, I'm surprised to note that a few of the commenters actually believe in bisexuality, as if that needs to be stated!
Let's put the boot on the other foot: say you wandered into a thread where a bunch of straight men were discussing gay sexuality - saying stuff about, I dunno, gay men aren't suited to be parents or people become gay because they were abused, or maybe that no-one is born gay or that as gay people you can "choose" to not become gay.
It would be perfectly acceptable for you to put them right, important perhaps, even if they did so jokingly and said it was just their opinions. You wouldn't stand for that, any more than I.
So, to suggest that it's fine to do that with bisexuals is equally false, as are many of the charges levelled at us, none of which have stood up to scrutiny here as they are often assertions based on prejudice not fact.
As I've said, I came into this thread to find gay people making bland, careless statements about how they view the sexualities of men who have sex with men and, as per, ignoring bisexuals. The OP who posed the question and highlighted the article agrees with it. Subsequently a bunch of older gay men have just added their tuppenceworth saying, "Nah, if you play with a dick you're gay." And then someone else chimes in and says bisexuals are taking over and everyone's a little bit bi... there's no consistency here just fear, jealousy and misunderstanding.
Yeah, I could have said nothing and moved on. But it's wrong on so many levels.
I don’t think jokes perpetuate anything, no. As hurtful as gay jokes were in school, they didn’t substantively deny me civil rights. Things actually got better, concurrently.
This is a good encapsulation of everything that is going wrong culturally right now, we’ve weakened the liberal order by pretending that someone saying something is like a bullet and they’ve committed a heinous crime.
In Virginia, *white people* forced out a governor, a social reformer, who was elected by *black voters* because he did something racially insensitive.
As for the straight folk making expressing some shitty opinions? For sure I wouldn’t engage. I only talk to people I want to talk to. And clients. But that’s different. lol
Now maybe my city council or state representative or some other person with actual power is considering acting on opinions like those? Yeah, I’d engage in some vigorous pushback. We did it to Mike Pence not that long ago. Conversion therapy is a very real threat to the physical and mental well-being of children. That’s worth fighting against.
But I’m not going to blow a gasket every time someone says something wrong or off-color. It’s not my purpose in life to change minds or anything like that.
I’m not suggesting you shouldn’t do what you want.
What I have been saying is that the opinions of gay men, specifically related to the inclusion of others in their community, has nothing to do with you. It has to do with them. It is nice that you want to be included. And I would include you, personally.
But telling people they are all wrong. That their opinions are bi-erasure and like racism and that makes them bad That it is their responsibility to care about your sexuality.
It’s just not going to get you the keys to the city.
Gay rights have taken a very circuitous path in the U.S. We did not achieve victory by convincing people. We did it by creating an environment where people felt safe to come out. We did it through protest. We did it through law. We did it through media.
We did it by being a visible presence in society and in families and at work. And we did it without constantly going on about how shitty other’s opinions were. We didn’t get our boss fired or ban someone’s Twitter account or stop talking to our moms.
People convinced themselves.
If bi people want a big seat at the table, they need to be visible. Just there. You’ll deal with a whole lot of ignorance and bad jokes and things that might hurt your feelings.
But that’s life.
That’s my case wrap here.
