First, let me apologize for what is going to be a very long post here. Read at your own caution and take cigarette breaks if necessary. I actually found this site while looking over Wikipedia. When I first saw this site, I thought it was a joke. Seriously. I thought this was a spoof. I logged on for a good laugh, and I am just stunnedy by what I have found here. This is really a beautiful forum. For me, this has been a very healing forum so far (I've only been reading for about two hours, by the way). My story, in a nutshell, is that I used to have a big penis. I think I developed before a lot of guys my age, and when I was young (about 8-10) I used to brag about my size and sometimes show it off. One time, about six of my friends and I were in the bathroom, and they all asked to see mine. I took it out to show them, but I couldn't get it hard. Still, they were all impressed by how "big" it was. Well, something happened later in life. Either the rest of my body caught up with the size of my penis, or my penis just stopped growing, or something. At age 18 I realized that I was no longer big. (I'm 6.5 if anyone is wondering.) And, yes, that hurt. It hurt a lot! The other reason this forum has been helpful for me is that my best friend, and I'm so close to him that I consider him my brother, is 10 inches. His size has always played a big part (no pun intended! in our friendship. I am just fascinated with his size, and it is a combination of reverence and outright hostile envy. One thing that has always frustrated me about my best friend is that he isn't more "proud" of his size. For example, he brags about the size of his arms and other things, but not his penis. I once asked him why he doesn't brag about his penis more and why he isn't more "proud" of it, and he has said that it's because he didn't do anything to "earn" it. And he has also given indication now and then that he doesn't like the fact that having a big penis "objectifies" him. None of which I can understand! If I had 10 inches, my god!, I'd be so proud, I'd brag, I'd show it to anyone who wanted to see it. But after reading some of the posts on this forum, I am starting to understand my best friend a little better. I've read some posts about guys feeling "exploited" and "degraded" by talk about their size, and I now realize that in some ways I've done this to my best friend, and I am actually almost in tears about it. God, us men are so weird about this topic sometimes! I remember watching a standup act by Damon Wayans where he said, "You women have no idea how deep this thing goes with us men!" And he was right. This is fucking religious stuff for us! A while ago I said to my best friend that I had finally realized that he is no more of a man than me just because he has a bigger penis, and he said he agrees completely. I suppose I realize this fact on a conscious level, but it hasn't completely sunk in. When I see another guy's penis is bigger than mine, I feel a combination of fascination and rage. The best way I can think to describe it is this: I feel a fascination because the penis basically represents what I am -- a man. The penis is the ultimate symbol of what we are as men. So, I have reverence and respect for the penis. And what better represents man than not only a penis, but a big penis? What makes me angry, I guess, is that I wasn't given a bigger "representation" of what we all are. So, when I see a bigger penis, I am proud to see something that represents what I am (and represents it in a "strong" way), but I am jealous that another guy got to be blessed with the representation. It may be the way a woman might feel when she, say, loses a beauty pageant or something. You know, why didn't I get to wear the crown? Thanks to anyone who hung in there (no pun intended! and read this whole thing!