New job, meet someone who I have been with 4 years ago-help??

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by robbie87, Aug 11, 2010.

  1. robbie87

    robbie87 New Member

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    Hi
    I started a new job on Monday. A man came in to the training who I recognized
    right away, and I think that he recognized me.
    4 years ago, several times we used to meet at a gym and jack off together in the showers.
    I didn't say anything and he didn't either.
    Yesterday, he asked me if I used to work out at this gym. I said yes, and he said he recognized me.
    Nothing else has been said since then. I think he is married, and so am I.
    I would like to see him again and maybe mess around more if possible.

    How should I proceed? I want to maintain professionalism at work and wouldn't try or suggest anything there.
    But would like to bring something up, but am afraid of the response.
    Thanks!
     
  2. minimag

    minimag Active Member

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    Best case: things pick up where they left off. Worst case: Fired from job and sued for sexual harassment. Hardly seems worth risking a new job just so you can have a wank-buddy.
     
    #2 minimag, Aug 12, 2010
    Last edited: Aug 12, 2010
  3. areola

    areola Member

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    It's interesting that you've managed to construct a worse case scenario without any knowledge of the local law or what approach he might take especially considering the OP said he "wouldn't try or suggest anything there [work]"

    You could talk positively about how much you used to like going there and that you wished you went somewhere as fun now, leave the door open for him the move. It's very easy to have a seemingly innocent conversation where neither says anything explicitly but if both parties are thinking the same thing the real message is loud and clear.
     
  4. hung

    Gold Member

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    Lay low and wait for the good things to happen. If they do not, just remember the fun you had four years ago and proceed on with your life at your new job.

    I wish you well.
     
  5. hud01

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    Fear mongers piss me off. He is not talking about grabbing his crotch, he is talking about saying hey I think we met at the gym.
     
  6. minimag

    minimag Active Member

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    Okay, fine. Worst case without any laws or approaches. At a company dinner/party either one of the guys has a bit too much to drink and lets it slip that they used to spank-it together. It's too bad that either one of the wives, or both of them heard the whole thing. I'm not a fear-monger, I'm a realist.
     
  7. nudeyorker

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    Are you joking? I suggest if it ever comes up go out for a drink or coffee and just chalk it up to being two horny dudes. But now you are in a professional setting together. Have you ever heard the phrase "Don't shit where you eat?" Do your job and be a professional without adding further drama to the scenario. If you want to get off... go back to the gym and find another horny dude.
     
  8. IntoxicatingToxin

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    If you want my honest opinion, don't lay a hand on him. You're both married. Have some respect for your significant others. If you can't respect them, get a divorce. This is, of course, presuming that you don't have an open relationship, and messing around with this guy would upset your spouse.
     
  9. dreamer20

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    You simply should have conversed with him in order to learn about each other, his marital status , the workplace etc. and to arrange your next meeting. To maintain professionalism at work discuss your j/o past elsewhere.
     
  10. BJs4You IL

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    why did you get married?
     
  11. flame boy

    flame boy Account Disabled

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    I wouldn't attempt anything sexual again for a number of reasons - both professionally and privately this sounds like a bad idea. Some things are better left in the past.
     
  12. robbie87

    robbie87 New Member

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    thanks for all of the advice. i have been tempted to send him an email. he is a corporate trainer and has worked for the organization over 20 years. but i haven't done anything. but i want to, i remember how much we enjoyed our time, but, maybe it should be left in the past.
     
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