New Lyrics For "I Will Survive"

Discussion in 'Funny Stuff: Jokes, Quizzes, Games & Pics' started by hippyscum, Oct 5, 2005.

  1. hippyscum

    hippyscum New Member

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    At first I was afraid, I was petrified
    When you said you had 10 inches, Lord I almost died
    But I'd spent oh so many years just waiting for a man that long
    That I grew strong And knew that I could take you on

    But there you are... another lie,
    I was geared up for a Big Mac and you've brought me a French fry
    I should have known it was bullshit, just a sad, pathetic dream
    Should have known no anaconda would be lurking in those jeans...

    Go on now go... walk out the door
    Don't you promise me 10 inches then turn up with only 4
    Weren't you a prat to think that I wouldn't catch you out
    Don't you know we're only joking when we say size doesn't count!

    Chorus)
    I will survive, I will survive
    Cos as long as I have batteries my sex life is gonna thrive!
    I will always have good sex with a handful of latex
    I will survive, I will survive. . .hey hey

    It took all my self-control not to laugh out loud
    When I saw your little wiener standing small and proud
    But to hell with all your ego's and to hell with all your needs
    Now I'm saving all my lovin' for a cordless multi-speed

    Go on now go... you'd better flee
    Last time I saw a prick that small was on my brother... he was 3
    I should have asked for confirmation, should have asked for referees
    Then I wouldn't have you waving that wee winky thing at me

    Go on now go... just hit the track
    Don't you bring me home no tiddlers 'cos I'll always throw them back
    The only thing that I could do with a prick as small as yours
    Is to stick it with a tooth-pick, dip it in tomato sauce

    (Chorus)

    Go on now go... get out of my sight
    I'm going back to my appliance 'cos I know it's length is right
    And if I ever see your tiny truncheon standing at my door
    You'll be counting up your inches as you pick them off the floor
    Go on now go...
     
  2. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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    Love it, hippy! I've always wished that Nanette Fabray had recorded a version of Gaynor's song.

    Fabray was a comic/singer who had successfully battled a hearing problem to become famous, notably by singing slightly off key just for fun.

    With those new lyrics and Nanette's voice, a CD would melt.
     
  3. hippyscum

    hippyscum New Member

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    Yeah, I'm thinking about doing it as a cabaret thing... but I don't like sequined dresses. Oh well...
     
  4. SomeGuyOverThere

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    LMAO!

    That was great!

    I would stick that in my sig with the penis song but it'd do bad things to the length of my posts.
     
  5. D_Barbi_Queue

    D_Barbi_Queue Account Disabled

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    Did anyone else actually sing that to themselves instead of just reading it?
     
  6. SomeGuyOverThere

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    I sang it quietly in my head - my family would give me really weird looks if I sang it out loud. ;)
     
  7. ThaitAss

    ThaitAss New Member

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    I sang along in my head too! Great song parody, hippyscum!! Got any more?
     
  8. hippyscum

    hippyscum New Member

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    Oh how I wish I did, I got sent that one in an email. We could all do our own parodies though... I doubt mines would be any good :dunce:
     
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