New Lyrics For "I Will Survive"

hippyscum

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At first I was afraid, I was petrified
When you said you had 10 inches, Lord I almost died
But I'd spent oh so many years just waiting for a man that long
That I grew strong And knew that I could take you on

But there you are... another lie,
I was geared up for a Big Mac and you've brought me a French fry
I should have known it was bullshit, just a sad, pathetic dream
Should have known no anaconda would be lurking in those jeans...

Go on now go... walk out the door
Don't you promise me 10 inches then turn up with only 4
Weren't you a prat to think that I wouldn't catch you out
Don't you know we're only joking when we say size doesn't count!

Chorus)
I will survive, I will survive
Cos as long as I have batteries my sex life is gonna thrive!
I will always have good sex with a handful of latex
I will survive, I will survive. . .hey hey

It took all my self-control not to laugh out loud
When I saw your little wiener standing small and proud
But to hell with all your ego's and to hell with all your needs
Now I'm saving all my lovin' for a cordless multi-speed

Go on now go... you'd better flee
Last time I saw a prick that small was on my brother... he was 3
I should have asked for confirmation, should have asked for referees
Then I wouldn't have you waving that wee winky thing at me

Go on now go... just hit the track
Don't you bring me home no tiddlers 'cos I'll always throw them back
The only thing that I could do with a prick as small as yours
Is to stick it with a tooth-pick, dip it in tomato sauce

(Chorus)

Go on now go... get out of my sight
I'm going back to my appliance 'cos I know it's length is right
And if I ever see your tiny truncheon standing at my door
You'll be counting up your inches as you pick them off the floor
Go on now go...
 

Pecker

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Love it, hippy! I've always wished that Nanette Fabray had recorded a version of Gaynor's song.

Fabray was a comic/singer who had successfully battled a hearing problem to become famous, notably by singing slightly off key just for fun.

With those new lyrics and Nanette's voice, a CD would melt.
 

SomeGuyOverThere

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Originally posted by TexAssgirl@Oct 14 2005, 07:23 PM
Did anyone else actually sing that to themselves instead of just reading it?
[post=351767]Quoted post[/post]​


I sang it quietly in my head - my family would give me really weird looks if I sang it out loud. ;)
 

hippyscum

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Originally posted by ThaitAss@Oct 30 2005, 03:39 PM
I sang along in my head too! Great song parody, hippyscum!! Got any more?
[post=356785]Quoted post[/post]​

Oh how I wish I did, I got sent that one in an email. We could all do our own parodies though... I doubt mines would be any good :dunce: