New Member Intro and Story

mrsparkle

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Hey gang, “new-bee” here. I’d like to introduce myself, but first I need to tell you all how great I think this group is. I’ve read many forums and contribute fairly regularly to quite a few with subjects ranging from R/C airplanes to TiVo, to Rickenbacker guitars and Corvettes. I feel confident when I say that the folks on this forum are the friendliest, most well-spoken and downright interesting group I’ve yet to encounter on the net, and I look forward to many interesting ‘conversations’. But now a bit about me, my penis, and why I’d like to belong to this fine group. For those of you who like long posts, read on. For those of you who don’t, we’ll be meeting in the forums, I’m sure.

I suppose I can trace the concerns I have with my penis all the way back to my childhood. A Dec 24th birthday gave my parents the option of starting me in first grade at five years of age or waiting until I was six. Well, I started at five, which made me younger than nearly all of my classmates. Now this didn’t have any real impact on me until seventh grade - the first year in our school where kids had to change clothes and, worse yet, shower in PE class. It was there that I learned in full detail what was going on with most of the other guys in my class but, due to my young age and the added scourge of a later-than-average puberty, was NOT going on with me.

When I first got a glimpse of my classmates stripping down in the gym locker room, I was in shock. Some of these guys were huge, their penises long and thick, with big, hanging testicles and pubic hair, and most of the other guys were well on their way. Meanwhile, I had nothing to show, and it was from this point on that an almost lifelong feeling of inferiority began to haunt me, along with a compulsion for “checking out” other guys, older, younger, or the same age as I, to compare at first my development, and later, my stature. That’s why I’ve listed myself as 90% hetero and 10% homosexual. While I’ve never had gay sex, I certainly have nothing against those who do and I feel my obsessive interest in both my own penis and those of other guys constitutes some tendencies in that direction. Whatever.....back to the story.

As I’m sure many of you can relate, opportunities to check out guys and compare myself came fast and furious during those younger years. It seemed there was always something going on that involved group nudity, be it PE class, summer swim team or group physical exams for sports. And check them out I did, but so far I’d only seen guys in their “natural” state. I hadn’t even considered what these monsters might look like erect.

Well my rude awakening came one night during a sleep-over at a friends house. We’d all been talking about sex-related stuff and, of course, as usual, masturbation was a major topic. Now I knew all about masturbation and I’d been doing it for some time, but at my stage of development I was having dry orgasms only. I was not yet able to ejaculate. But anyhow, we were all horny and curious about each other and how we all did it, and we managed to talk this one guy into demonstrating his masturbation technique for us. The dude let us watch him from start to finish.

He lay down and, illuminated only by a dim flashlight (his rules), he unsnapped and then unzipped his pants. He started pulling his pants down and, to my horror, revealed his white Jockey shorts bulging mightily with his already semi-erect penis. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing! I mean it was bad enough having to see this guy in gym class overflowing his jockstrap, but this underwear bulge seemed twice that size. But wait, there’s more.

He now started wiggling out of his underwear, pulling them down to his knees, exposing a now fully erect penis which he grabbed with his hand. My heart basically sank. I mean, my pathetic little penis was so far removed from this dude’s, I didn’t see how I could ever catch up. Then, having to watch him pump the thing up and down and eventually shoot semen across his chest was all my ego could take. I was devastated. And to make matters worse, this event, naturally, would set a precedent for future sleep-overs and campouts, and I would forever be torn between wanting to participate so I could learn what the other guys were packing, and trying to avoid those situations due to my embarrassment.

Looking back on this I’d be willing to bet that this dude, and lots of my other buds were, in reality, not as gigantic as I perceived them. I fact, they were probably in late stage three or early stage four of puberty, while I was probably early stage two. But in my mind, the differences between their penises and mine were overwhelming. And these feelings of inferiority followed me right on into young adulthood where my penis actually started growing, and where plenty more comparison opportunities would occur during college and a two-year stint in the US Army.

I certainly cannot tell my whole story, by the way, if I neglect to mention my escalating involvement with the opposite sex which was occurring in parallel to all of this same-sex curiosity. I was definitely attracted to girls but, owing to my feelings of inadequacy, I was 18 years old before I would even let a girl put her hand down my pants. And that happened only because the girl was a few years younger than I, and I knew I was the first guy she’d ever seen erect. I didn’t get the courage to have actual intercourse until I was 20, and that was accompanied by much anxiety because this girl was about my age and I assumed she’d seen other aroused penises before. I was certain I’d be deemed small by this experienced partner despite the fact that my now fully-matured penis, unbeknownst to me, actually measured larger than avearge, according to survey information readily available today but, unfortunately, not then (1972).

Through the years I continued to be haunted by these feelings despite having had partners tell me I was large, despite having reached the ‘bottom’ of plenty of vaginas, and despite having seen plenty of guys to compare myself with, both live and in photos, both soft and hard. Still, I remain somewhat unconvinced that I’m even average in size, much less larger. I measure myself constantly. I keep myself thin since it shows size better. I keep my pubic hair trimmed for the same reason. And the compulsion to keep checking other guys for verification remains constant.

So, my desire to participate in this group stems not from the perspective of going through life with a larger-than-avearge penis like many of you, but from a need to be convinced that I am at least average (if not, perhaps, a little better) and maybe, finally, become satisfied with what I have. For those of you who have made it to the end of this story, what I have is 4.75” x 5” soft and about 7.75” x 5.5” with a full hard-on. At age 53 I still get rock-hard erections (my friends and I call them “diamond cutters”) it is dead-straight but with a moderate “U” curve, and it points almost straight up (I have to bend it down to measure it properly). My balls are usually “high and tight” during the day, when cold, and when aroused, but hang nicely while warm and relaxed in the evening. I’ll get some pix going when time permits.

mrsparkle
 

steve319

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Welcome, mrsparkle! I really enjoyed reading your post. Very human, very authentic.

I think you'll find that there are a lot of us here who ended up staying at LPSG out of a genuine "self-help" rationale. Hope you enjoy your stay and benefit in numerous ways.

Look forward to hearing more.
 

belinoitaliano

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Hey Mr. Sparkle.

Your situation is definitely unusual... a man who's 7.75" shouldn't worry about being above average. I guess adolescence is such a crucial time that any insecurity we feel there gets carried with you for the rest of their life. I know alot of people who put more effort into being beautiful throughout their lives- and succeed- do so because they remember how they felt as an awkward teen.

It's funny, we get guys in here with 4.5" and 7.75", and their stories sound almost exactly the same!

While I was the same age as the other kids, I was always the shortest kid in my class up until high school. So when my penis started coming in around grade 6 and kids started talking about my "giant salami", it was a welcome change and one I helped play up. From reading this board, I don't think my "pipsqueak with big dick" story is that rare.
 

B_RoysToy

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Welcome to the group, mrsparkle. I hope your well-thought-of opinion of us will be even increased with membership. Your composing ability certainly lends itself to producing interesting and readable material, in fact, it's really erotic. I assure you all future contributions, including gallery pictures, will be welcomed with open arms.

Luke, (alaRoysToy)
 

blackwood

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Originally posted by RoysToy@Apr 26 2005, 04:20 PM
Welcome to the group, mrsparkle. I hope your well-thought-of opinion of us will be even increased with membership. Your composing ability certainly lends itself to producing interesting and readable material, in fact, it's really erotic. I assure you all future contributions, including gallery pictures, will be welcomed with open arms.

Luke, (alaRoysToy)
[post=305039]Quoted post[/post]​


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Mr Sparkle,

Welcome aboard--

blackwood