New to Grindr Advice

[Lilyoftheghetto]

I'm thinking about joining Grindr. I will be new to hook up apps. I've avoided the apps for years because I was scared of hooking up with strangers. Looking for a particular type of man that I cant seem to meet any other way. I have questions.

From my understanding, Grindr is primarily used for immediate hook ups? How exactly does this occur? Do you invite complete strangers to your place or do you go to their place which sounds even scarier? How do you know it's not a set up? How do you know its not some crazed homophobe or some junkie looking for a quick buck? Are there particular things you do to make sure you're not being scammed or putting your life in danger? Do you meet for drinks, coffee or lunch first to feel each other out? Or is that more like a date rather than a hook up? Should I start Prep before joining? I'm not looking to raw fuck. Is there a better alternative to Grindr?

Don't laugh. I honestly have no idea how to navigate this hook up app culture and need your advice.

 

[GayBootyLover69]

starting Prep and practicing safe sex in general is smart, especially for hookups with strangers

have standards and boundaries too, a lot of guys on grindr have no profile pics (or just something generic like a pic of their shirtless torso) and nothing in their bio lol

also grindr lets you disable your distance (how many miles or feet away you are from other users)

make sure you communicate as clearly as possible what you're looking for, but expect other people on the app to do the same too, if they don't then it's probably not worth trying to meet with them lol

and keep in mind that a lot of guys on there are very horny and looking for right now, so you might end up seeing a lot of short chats where the guys give one-word responses

there are guys on Grindr who like having actual convos too but they're more rare from my experience lol

 

[GayBootyLover69]

also yes, it's best to meet up with guys in public places first

 

[GayBootyLover69]

btw are there any gay/queer bars or public spaces in your area? it might be more fulfilling to meet guys there instead of on grindr tbh

 

[Stumpjumper310]

These are all great questions and much of it kept me from meeting up in person. In my case, I was looking for something very specific and not leading to anything else. It was pretty easy to spot that he was into the same thing and very much understood the culture around it. It's hard to explain. Because of that, I trusted him. It's very obvious if someone is fishing for something more or if they are on drugs. That happens way too much. I personally don't see the allure of "right now"... that's what my hand is for.

When a guy sends his address, I immediately look it up. Some of the legit guys I've met with are in pretty ritzy buildings or homes. They have a lot to lose by killing me etc. so I tend to trust them more. So far, I haven't had any meets where I felt I was in danger, but there were some awkward ones just as always.

 

[theplayerking]

I'm thinking about joining Grindr. I will be new to hook up apps. I've avoided the apps for years because I was scared of hooking up with strangers. Looking for a particular type of man that I cant seem to meet any other way. I have questions.

From my understanding, Grindr is primarily used for immediate hook ups? How exactly does this occur? Do you invite complete strangers to your place or do you go to their place which sounds even scarier? How do you know it's not a set up? How do you know its not some crazed homophobe or some junkie looking for a quick buck? Are there particular things you do to make sure you're not being scammed or putting your life in danger? Do you meet for drinks, coffee or lunch first to feel each other out? Or is that more like a date rather than a hook up? Should I start Prep before joining? I'm not looking to raw fuck. Is there a better alternative to Grindr?

Don't laugh. I honestly have no idea how to navigate this hook up app culture and need your advice.

Most guys on the apps (including Grindr) are looking for immediate bareback hookups. It’s just the default expectation. That doesn’t mean you can’t find guys that are willing to meet in public first and use condoms, but it will take more searching.

Use common sense. It’s wise to be cautious, but know that what you’re looking for is not the default and some (most?) guys will not be interested in that scenario. Just move on until you find someone you’re comfortable with. Have fun.

 

[funboi85]

Just upload a couple of good pics and lay out exactly what you're looking for in your profile and then just wait and see. Thats pretty much all there is to it. If people are interested you'll get messages soon enough.

Thirst traps don't hurt. A shirtless pic or you in your underwear if you're comfortable with it will drive a little traffic your way.

Or take the initiative and message them first. Just try not so let it lower your self-esteem if you get rejected.

Biggest thing though, be safe. At the end of the day we're talking about strangers and not all of them have good intentions. If something seems fishy to you trust your instincts. It's not worth getting yourself in trouble for an anonymous fuck.

 

[Lilyoftheghetto]

btw are there any gay/queer bars or public spaces in your area? it might be more fulfilling to meet guys there instead of on grindr tbh

Im looking for middle eastern guys. There are a lot in my area but they are not present in public gay spaces so that is why I am taking apps into consideration.

 

[tld991]

If they ask if you "Party", just block them, trust me.

 

[Deepthroatius]

I feel obligated to tell you Grindr is really the worst option of the popular apps avaible for similar use. It has become way too expensive while also taking away features previously granted for free, it's overrun with spambots, has frequent bugs and issues with programming, tedious or difficult to remove ads placed mindfully much too frequently to warrant, and is generally getting "gentrified" by straight-identifying men who are only interested in seeking out trans women for sexual tourism and who offer nothing but a blank space of non-participation on the limited grid of profiles you are allowed to view of the nearest people to you... But I digress.

It can also potentially have some surprise hotties when you least expect, it is likely still the most utilized and household-known, and is culturally part of our collective experience forever more.

LOL Grindr might be a good place to get an idea of what to expect...It is a subreddit that I would describe as the "Burn Book" from Mean Girls of Grindr. It's not as mean as that sounds once you're aware of the in-joke over the course of using it... for example, an entirely blank profile messaging you only for it to say "Any pics?" is a universally understood annoyance that miraculously still endures routinely.

They also sagely link to a Grindr Dictionary that has a lot of practical common user mysteries or theories and explanations on some slang used and to be avoided.

But most helpful is their Ultimate Grindr Guide you should read above anything else for avoiding common beginner's blunders, being aware of your security and safety as smartly as possible, and what common scams or threats you might encounter and how to best handle/avoid them...

It's honestly just another method to chat with other bored gays in your area and have the same conversations back and forth with while youre bored or horny in bed...but I genuinely hope you find some fun and exciting encounters --before realizing everyone hot or in the know has moved on to Sniffies mostly.

HAVE FUN, GOOD LUCK, and may the tops be ever in your area.... =P

 

[GayBootyLover69]

I feel obligated to tell you Grindr is really the worst option of the popular apps avaible for similar use. It has become way too expensive while also taking away features previously granted for free, it's overrun with spambots, has frequent bugs and issues with programming, tedious or difficult to remove ads placed mindfully much too frequently to warrant, and is generally getting "gentrified" by straight-identifying men who are only interested in seeking out trans women for sexual tourism and who offer nothing but a blank space of non-participation on the limited grid of profiles you are allowed to view of the nearest people to you... But I digress.

It can also potentially have some surprise hotties when you least expect, it is likely still the most utilized and household-known, and is culturally part of our collective experience forever more.

LOL Grindr might be a good place to get an idea of what to expect...It is a subreddit that I would describe as the "Burn Book" from Mean Girls of Grindr. It's not as mean as that sounds once you're aware of the in-joke over the course of using it... for example, an entirely blank profile messaging you only for it to say "Any pics?" is a universally understood annoyance that miraculously still endures routinely.

They also sagely link to a Grindr Dictionary that has a lot of practical common user mysteries or theories and explanations on some slang used and to be avoided.

But most helpful is their Ultimate Grindr Guide you should read above anything else for avoiding common beginner's blunders, being aware of your security and safety as smartly as possible, and what common scams or threats you might encounter and how to best handle/avoid them...

It's honestly just another method to chat with other bored gays in your area and have the same conversations back and forth with while youre bored or horny in bed...but I genuinely hope you find some fun and exciting encounters --before realizing everyone hot or in the know has moved on to Sniffies mostly.

HAVE FUN, GOOD LUCK, and may the tops be ever in your area.... =P

100% this, you hit every nail right on their heads

 

[Lilyoftheghetto]

I feel obligated to tell you Grindr is really the worst option of the popular apps avaible for similar use. It has become way too expensive while also taking away features previously granted for free, it's overrun with spambots, has frequent bugs and issues with programming, tedious or difficult to remove ads placed mindfully much too frequently to warrant, and is generally getting "gentrified" by straight-identifying men who are only interested in seeking out trans women for sexual tourism and who offer nothing but a blank space of non-participation on the limited grid of profiles you are allowed to view of the nearest people to you... But I digress.

It can also potentially have some surprise hotties when you least expect, it is likely still the most utilized and household-known, and is culturally part of our collective experience forever more.

LOL Grindr might be a good place to get an idea of what to expect...It is a subreddit that I would describe as the "Burn Book" from Mean Girls of Grindr. It's not as mean as that sounds once you're aware of the in-joke over the course of using it... for example, an entirely blank profile messaging you only for it to say "Any pics?" is a universally understood annoyance that miraculously still endures routinely.

They also sagely link to a Grindr Dictionary that has a lot of practical common user mysteries or theories and explanations on some slang used and to be avoided.

But most helpful is their Ultimate Grindr Guide you should read above anything else for avoiding common beginner's blunders, being aware of your security and safety as smartly as possible, and what common scams or threats you might encounter and how to best handle/avoid them...

It's honestly just another method to chat with other bored gays in your area and have the same conversations back and forth with while youre bored or horny in bed...but I genuinely hope you find some fun and exciting encounters --before realizing everyone hot or in the know has moved on to Sniffies mostly.

HAVE FUN, GOOD LUCK, and may the tops be ever in your area.... =P

Shit! Everything is so fucking complicated now. But thank you for the great advice and grinder resources. Honestly dont know what to do. I hear some people say nothing beats good old fashioned cruising in rest rooms and parks, which I have never done because I always thought that shit sounded too dangerous.

 

[Deepthroatius]

Shit! Everything is so fucking complicated now. But thank you for the great advice and grinder resources. Honestly dont know what to do. I hear some people say nothing beats good old fashioned cruising in rest rooms and parks, which I have never done because I always thought that shit sounded too dangerous.

Go with a friend? I have cruised with buddies before in case it may have been concerning in some way.

I think everything is just expected to be accomplished with much less effort put in for the task bc of our dependence on tech... No one want to leave their house if they can just be frustrated and stimulated at home with their phone. But you never know until you go! =P

 

[Stephenmass]

If they ask if you "Party", just block them, trust me.

I agree. Or if they use the letter T capitalized in places where it shouldn't be means crystal meth usage. I can only not imagine not getting in a room by myself with someone like that.

 

[Lilyoftheghetto]

OMG! Maybe I better stay off grinder! Last thing I need is to get mixed up with a meth head.