Newbie sex question

[chrisandy18]

Hi guys,

I'm quite a newbie especially when it comes to sex and I get paranoid easily of getting infected with any diseases. I went to a bathhouse full of guys just recently (being curious and all), so I hooked up with some random guy. We didn't do anything much since I didn't want to do oral and anal, we just kissed alot, licked nipples and jerked off. He also attempted fingering me for awhile but I didn't really enjoyed it. He wanted to fuck me but I didn't let him. Do you think I'll be safe and okay?

 

[chrisandy18]

hope anyone can answer me, i know i'm pretty ignorant here but i'd like to here some of your opinions please.

 

[Bbucko]

You were not at risk for much of anything, including having a good time :wink:

 

[Countryguy63]

Unfortunately, your question is a bit vague

"Safe" as in what regards?

Unprotected sex is never safe (ok, if you are in a relationship and are 100% sure that your partner is exlusive, that's 99% safe :wink, especially at an establishment where you are meeting new people.

In my opinion, the only safe sex activity is mtual jacking. Other than that, everything else has it's risks. Some are just on the low end of the risk scale.

If that doesn't answer sufficiently, please clarify further and we'll try and help more. :smile:

edit: I think I misunderstood question, duh at:
If you are asking if what you did was safe, yes with a slight risk of something being transferred by a kiss, and even that is so minimal, I wouldn't worry :smile:

 

[chrisandy18]

You were not at risk for much of anything, including having a good time :wink:

Thanks! I know, I'm weird.. I'm just not into oral and anal. I just wanted to get off. After me cumming, I did not care for the guy anymore - sorry.

What I'm concerned now is that I have a cut right outside my lips (really small one) and I've made-out with a couple of different random guys in the past weeks - that's all. I'll never know what their mouths have been through soooo.... Am I just too worrisome? I keep on thinking of STDs or AIDS.

 

[chrisandy18]

Unfortunately, your question is a bit vague

"Safe" as in what regards?

Unprotected sex is never safe (ok, if you are in a relationship and are 100% sure that your partner is exlusive, that's 99% safe :wink, especially at an establishment where you are meeting new people.

In my opinion, the only safe sex activity is mtual jacking. Other than that, everything else has it's risks. Some are just on the low end of the risk scale.

If that doesn't answer sufficiently, please clarify further and we'll try and help more. :smile:

edit: I think I misunderstood question, duh at:
If you are asking if what you did was safe, yes with a slight risk of something being transferred by a kiss, and even that is so minimal, I wouldn't worry :smile:

yeah sorry for the vague topic. I wanted to know the chances of getting any infections/diseases from what I done (kissing, foreplay, ...). What scares me is that I did these with random guys. Plus, I have a small cut outside my lips. Basing from your last statement, chances are so small so I should stop thinking about this right??

 

[Countryguy63]

I wouldn't fret too much over it. There are folks here more knowledable than I am about STD's, but I still think your chances of catching anything from oral kissing (I know, what other kinds of kissing are there, lol :wink are extremely low.

It's scarey in the beginning, but you'll learn the do's and don'ts if you keep getting educated :smile:

 

[MickeyLee]

links to Safer Sex/Sexual Health Information.

most of the links are youth oriented, cuz i am guessing the 18 in ya username might be age related.

a personal favorite, JustSayYes very sex positive, very informational

PAMF.org sex/sti information
PAMF.org risk awareness

 

[chrisandy18]

I wouldn't fret too much over it. There are folks here more knowledable than I am about STD's, but I still think your chances of catching anything from oral kissing (I know, what other kinds of kissing are there, lol :wink are extremely low.

It's scarey in the beginning, but you'll learn the do's and don'ts if you keep getting educated :smile:

Thanks alot! Your response definitely made me alot calmer. I guess I'm very cautious regarding this stuff. The most thing we did was just french kiss so I believe this is just nothing. Most cases I hear would usually come from after unprotected oral/anal sex, which I never do.

 

[Serial Kisser]

I think before engaging in any other kind of sexual activity, you should really educate yourself about STDs, how they're transmitted, and other things. Look around on the internet. Go to a health clinic.

 

[monel]

Don't go pulling that car into traffic until you've at least mastered the basics. Its not like it is in the relative safety of backing out of your driveway. Out on the interstate it can be really dangerous if you don't know what you're doing. Buckle in. Slow down and stick to the smaller roads for a while until you're more comfortable handling your vehicle. And good luck.

 

[B_blueonblue1964]

oral kissing (I know, what other kinds of kissing are there, lol :wink

I can think of at least 3 other kinds of kissing:wink:

 

[matelalique]

As a chemical engineer I take a very nerdy approach to this. There are many diseases, which transmit with varying ease. A few different fluids (from safest to most dangerous) - sweat, sneezes, saliva, semen, blood; and a few different surfaces (from toughest to like a sponge) - skin, mouth/nose lining, inner foreskin and anal surfaces and open wounds.

We all decide where we are going to draw the line. Most people touch door handles and ATM buttons, and sit next to strangers on the bus at the risk of catching colds, and getting warts.

You have decided to expose your mouth lining (not very absorbent) to your partner's saliva (not very disease bearing), but this is how mono is transmitted.

Some gay men may let you come in their mouths, others don't because there is a risk or transmission (but far lower than semen to anal tissue). More fluid means more risk, so pre-cum only is less risky than a full ejaculation.

Pour/shoot any infected fluid into an unprotected anus, or an open wound, and you should expect it to be lapped up by the body quite effectively.

Anyway - choose your level of safety - I would suggest keeping other peoples blood and semen out of your absorbent orifices (condoms), and don't let any fluids into an open wound. And don't sit next to people on the bus with warts.

Another suggestion I've given other newbies is to go and get tested for HIV while you know you don't have it, so that when you *do* need to go it is a lot less intimidating.

have fun and enjoy your sexuality and your exploring.

 

[matelalique]

and as for the cut on the outside of your lip - unless they were bathing it in saliva this sounds very low risk. Watch out for cuts inside the mouth though, particularly if you're planning on letting someone come there. It increases the riskiness many times.

 

[chrisandy18]

I can think of at least 3 other kinds of kissing:wink:

can you tell me what those 3 are? I only know french kissing lol

 

[chrisandy18]

Don't go pulling that car into traffic until you've at least mastered the basics. Its not like it is in the relative safety of backing out of your driveway. Out on the interstate it can be really dangerous if you don't know what you're doing. Buckle in. Slow down and stick to the smaller roads for a while until you're more comfortable handling your vehicle. And good luck.

noted and thanks!

 

[chrisandy18]

As a chemical engineer I take a very nerdy approach to this. There are many diseases, which transmit with varying ease. A few different fluids (from safest to most dangerous) - sweat, sneezes, saliva, semen, blood; and a few different surfaces (from toughest to like a sponge) - skin, mouth/nose lining, inner foreskin and anal surfaces and open wounds.

We all decide where we are going to draw the line. Most people touch door handles and ATM buttons, and sit next to strangers on the bus at the risk of catching colds, and getting warts.

You have decided to expose your mouth lining (not very absorbent) to your partner's saliva (not very disease bearing), but this is how mono is transmitted.

Some gay men may let you come in their mouths, others don't because there is a risk or transmission (but far lower than semen to anal tissue). More fluid means more risk, so pre-cum only is less risky than a full ejaculation.

Pour/shoot any infected fluid into an unprotected anus, or an open wound, and you should expect it to be lapped up by the body quite effectively.

Anyway - choose your level of safety - I would suggest keeping other peoples blood and semen out of your absorbent orifices (condoms), and don't let any fluids into an open wound. And don't sit next to people on the bus with warts.

Another suggestion I've given other newbies is to go and get tested for HIV while you know you don't have it, so that when you *do* need to go it is a lot less intimidating.

have fun and enjoy your sexuality and your exploring.

Good thing I don't let cocks near my mouth. We did some french kissing though but It wasn't particularly at the point of bathing my mouth. I mean there may have been contacts between my cut and his tongue, chances are... it's still very low risk right?

 

[alpinepaul]

if life (and sex) is as dangerous as you picture it in you neurotic fears, humankind would gone extinct thousands of years ago.

so my advice would be to relax. and maybe think about why you see sex as this big danger. is there a part of your inner self who want to get punished for being gay/bi?

seriously: relax!

 

[B_Nia88]

use condoms and water soluble lube

 

[chrisandy18]

if life (and sex) is as dangerous as you picture it in you neurotic fears, humankind would gone extinct thousands of years ago.

so my advice would be to relax. and maybe think about why you see sex as this big danger. is there a part of your inner self who want to get punished for being gay/bi?

seriously: relax!

yeah i know, i'm always like this. i'll try not to worry on this topic anymore - most probably i'm clean and safe anyway.

i'm not sure what my orientation is now. i get turned on by muscular bods and that's it. Everytime I finish jerking, I would not care for the other guy anymore so I guess I simply want to get off. Heck I think of oral and anal between 2 guys as gross. Weird me.

Thanks again!