Newish relationship - christmas present dilemma

[950483]

I agree with @palakaorion and @LaFemme . If it is something that he and his son can do together without you might be best. Otherwise it might be too early on in the relationship or seem a bit pushy if you haven't even met the kid yet. Inviting you into his child's life needs to happen at his discretion, in his own time, but a gift like that shows willingness and that you accept his responsibilities as a parent.

 

[950483]

I will be returning to this thread later to find out what the hell men do want for Christmas. At this point in the relationship I should probably know what to get, but I don't.

 

[sangheili90]

You just started dating the guy and don't really know him, I'm sure he wouldn't expect you to actually buy him a present.

Here is the thing, if a guy wants something he will just go and by it himself. Men are simple, they just want to feel appreciated and don't place much value in gifts, if a guy had this mindset with his gf or wife that'd be a recipe for disaster.

Anyway, guys would appreciate stuff like home baked treats (cookies, fudge, brownies, etc.), a nice home cooked meal, etc. Blowjobs, wearing a sexy lingerie outfit.

 

[328982]

After a couple of months, not sure it should be too personal or homey really. That angle is covered by the wreath. An activity that excludes the son is a bit wicked stepmother but an activity that excludes you feels too self-effacing. Something that isn't overly thought through - nothing that could pain you if it ends acrimoniously in a few months' time That leaves alcohol, maybe a really special malt whisky if he likes that? Or something fun, like a computer game - best present I ever got was a computer chess board that I still play with - or fuck it, a nice shirt or jumper. Men are boring.

 

[286798]

Thanks for all the input.

I especially agree with

An activity that excludes the son is a bit wicked stepmother but an activity that excludes you feels too self-effacing.

If I happen to find a grown-up event on a weekend that he doesn't have his son, I'll still consider it, but I'm not going to put a lot of effort into this.

And I agree that

if a guy wants something he will just go and by it himself.

which is why y'all are so difficult!!!! (But then again, I'm often the same way, so he's got it just as bad.)

He came over for dinner tonight and I showed him my rough draft of the wreath to get his input (I had a couple different options). He was very happy with it. I think anything beyond this would be gravy.

 

[palakaorion]

He came over for dinner tonight and I showed him my rough draft of the wreath to get his input (I had a couple different options). He was very happy with it. I think anything beyond this would be gravy.

Don't discount the power of "gravy."
Mashed potatoes are good. But mashed potatoes *and gravy* are awesome.

 

[AlteredEgo]

Went shopping for the son today. Bought a little tiny quadcopter that can do flips. He's two years younger than the age listed on the box, but... It's not like he's an idiot. I like copters and drones. If this could be a shared hobby someday, I'd like to get him started now.

 

[286798]

As promised... here's the masculine-ish Christmas wreath. Not 100% done... May have a few more doodads to put on it, or a present in the bed of the truck, but it's mostly complete.

 

[286798]

Don't discount the power of "gravy."
Mashed potatoes are good. But mashed potatoes *and gravy* are awesome.

Dinner last night was pot roast and gravy... and gravy.

 

[hypolimnas]

As promised... here's the masculine-ish Christmas wreath. Not 100% done... May have a few more doodads to put on it, or a present in the bed of the truck, but it's mostly complete.

View attachment 900675 View attachment 900677

That's a great wreath.Well done.

 

[AlteredEgo]

I love the wreath! I think a little gift box in the truck bed is a great idea, too.

 

[palakaorion]

here's the masculine-ish Christmas wreath

I would totally hang that on my door.

 

[sangheili90]

Thanks for all the input.

I especially agree with

If I happen to find a grown-up event on a weekend that he doesn't have his son, I'll still consider it, but I'm not going to put a lot of effort into this.

And I agree that

which is why y'all are so difficult!!!! (But then again, I'm often the same way, so he's got it just as bad.)

He came over for dinner tonight and I showed him my rough draft of the wreath to get his input (I had a couple different options). He was very happy with it. I think anything beyond this would be gravy.

Most guys are ridiculously simple and it doesn't take much to please us. For me, if I a girl wanted to give me a gift for my birthday or Christmas or whatever occasion I'd be more interested in something like a nice home cooked dinner, mostly because I suck at it. Baked goodies are a good idea, just for future reference. Most guys don't really get overly sentimental about things like a lot of women do, this is just a basic fact.

 

[TurkeyWithaSunburn]

Have you thought about gag gifts? The Weener Kleener soap might be a little smile bringer. The weener kleener is just a ring of soap. If you know any soapmakers or could find some info online on how to add embellishments in the wreath theme it might be a memorable gift.

Here's a wreath for your home, and this is a wreath for your weener.

On the more normal serious side. Maybe cologne? A cool beer bottle opener? A keychain to fave sports team? Something that you think he would like but wouldn't buy it for himself. Something he needs but keeps putting off on buying? How's the ratty tatty underwear and tshirts situation? Time for a few of them to find clothes heaven? New fancy undies or themed tshirts? Like others have said FOOD is a good way. A fancy calligraphy invite with a menu listed on the card to give him a really special home cooked dinner?

That's all I can think of so I'll go back to collecting dust.
BTW really nice wreath, when are you selling them on etsy or at a flea market?

 

[286798]

Here's a wreath for your home, and this is a wreath for your weener.

I love it! He's a real jokester, so that's a great idea.

 

[AlteredEgo]

I'm putting the Chromecast in a gag box. The most fun I ever had gifting, I gave a new mom some nice things that I put in a box that made it look like it was a cribside drink dispenser. Think of the type of water bottles you give to pet rodents. The box also suggested adding liquor to the milk to make the wee one sleep longer. We'd been friends since she was born. (Her older brother and I used to be very, very close; he taught me to climb trees and make slingshots.) She and I had been estranged for a long time, however. She seemed really upset by my apparent gift, but too polite to tell me to fuck off. I had to tell her mother the secret and get her to convince my friend to open the box. I'm told once she found my real presents, the house could have been knocked down by the wave of relief and the raucous laughter about the ridiculous nature of the box.

I also gave my sister-in-law a really great towel set I put in a box that appeared to contain an in-shower coffee maker and dispenser. The clincher was that I gave her peppermint scented, caffeinated shower gel. She was an exhausted law school student at the time. She liked the shower gel, then saw the other box and was visibly dismayed. Her parents received DVDs in a box that looked like bacon scented fabric softener sheets. The parents thought I was just some kind of special idiot. Even though that was the second time I gave them gifts in a gag box, their prejudice wouldn't allow them to realize I always give very thoughtful presents. Once my sister-in-law saw their box, however, the jig was up. She started laughing hysterically and opened her box, and made the parents open theirs. Everyone had received something they knew they needed (like the luxurious towels) or had said they wanted, (like those movies).

 

[AlteredEgo]

Most guys are ridiculously simple and it doesn't take much to please us. For me, if I a girl wanted to give me a gift for my birthday or Christmas or whatever occasion I'd be more interested in something like a nice home cooked dinner, mostly because I suck at it. Baked goodies are a good idea, just for future reference. Most guys don't really get overly sentimental about things like a lot of women do, this is just a basic fact.

I think some guys pretend to not be sentimental. Most of my exes have revealed to me that they have sweet little keepsakes from those golden days when we were infatuated or in love. I helped an ex clean out his closet, for example. I found a shirt that no longer fit, and was over a decade old, and worn out. I tried to put it in the pile for trash. He was very upset, and snatched it from me. It went immediately back into the closet. It was the first gift I ever gave him. Another ex sent me a bunch of old pictures (from when I was hugely fat!!!) because he was scanning them so he could keep them without his wife knowing about them. Since they were now digital, he thought I'd like a copy. I was shocked he still had those pictures. He hates clutter and storage of anything that isn't useful. A real neat freak. He said he'd never be able to let them go, and that tossing the physical copies had pained him. Most of my exes have shown me some surprising thing they kept. Maybe I just attracted the sentimental type. Maybe more men are sentimental than is let on. Just a thought.

 

[286798]

Maybe more men are sentimental than is let on. Just a thought.

Maybe those have been meaningful relationships, and maybe some people haven't experienced that yet to be sentimental about.

 

[ItsAll4Kim]

I think some guys pretend to not be sentimental. Most of my exes have revealed to me that they have sweet little keepsakes from those golden days when we were infatuated or in love. I helped an ex clean out his closet, for example. I found a shirt that no longer fit, and was over a decade old, and worn out. I tried to put it in the pile for trash. He was very upset, and snatched it from me. It went immediately back into the closet. It was the first gift I ever gave him. Another ex sent me a bunch of old pictures (from when I was hugely fat!!!) because he was scanning them so he could keep them without his wife knowing about them. Since they were now digital, he thought I'd like a copy. I was shocked he still had those pictures. He hates clutter and storage of anything that isn't useful. A real neat freak. He said he'd never be able to let them go, and that tossing the physical copies had pained him. Most of my exes have shown me some surprising thing they kept. Maybe I just attracted the sentimental type. Maybe more men are sentimental than is let on. Just a thought.

I'm sentimental as fuck. Ridiculous. What constitutes a saved item varies so much. My wife, when we were still dating, threw out an old bra she used to wear. I've had it like 12 years and I'm sure I'd be embarrassed if she knew I rescued it.

I have printed a few old emails she wrote, including one where we were finally going to be together, and she had somehow felt unworthy of me, that I would blame her when I miss my daughters. To this day, reading it brings me to tears.

I have goofy little Items my daughters made as crafts...there's a paper cutout rabbit I put in the glovebox of every vehicle I've owned since 1995. Always thought that if we're ever in a really bad crash, knowing something of theirs is close would be a comfort.

Me sentimental? Oh hell yes.

 

[ItsAll4Kim]

I will be returning to this thread later to find out what the hell men do want for Christmas. At this point in the relationship I should probably know what to get, but I don't.

Here's an example. I hate multi-blade razors. And the cost is absurd. I bought a cheap single blade old school razor a while ago, and now really enjoy old fashioned wet shaving. A nicer razor would be something I'd absolutely love, and a really good one is about $50 with enough blades to last several years.

I'm a contractor, and a jobsite radio would be a fantastic gift.

A really great pen is also a cool keepsake gift.

Many of us like things that you're not necessarily going to think of right away.