Newly married.

[995633]

I'm newly married and I love it. But I can't help but notice how I still check out women and find other women sexually attractive. I'm not posting here because I'm afraid I will cheat, because I have no desire to cheat. And I would not do that. But I guess I for some reason thought that the part of me that lusted over strangers would go away.

Any thoughts? Comments? Advice? I feel like it is normal to be attracted to people even while married but I guess I'm looking for insight?

 

[1088364]

Well, I'm not married, but if I may say something, it would be that legal or religious bonds to another person can't be expected to change the way you feel...

I mean, I guess that checking other girls out is part of your instincts (and therefore of yourself), which in itself is not bad! If you felt tempted to cheat on your wife, that would certainly be a problem, but you don't.

I'd suggest you made peace with your instincts and things you can't control. You know, accepting stuff is the first step either to recognize there isn't a problem or to deal with one...

Personally, I think you're fine and normal! Lol As a bi man, I can tell I check girls and guys out even if I have a BF whom I love and who completely satisfies me... Maybe in the worst-case scenario, we are just as sick as each other! Lol

 

[EllieP]

Sweetie even though you're on a diet doesn't keep you from looking at the menu. You just can't order though.

I've been married for a few years now, and I still look at cute guys and girls. I appreciate beauty in all forms.

 

[insert_8]

I've been married to the same wife for well over 40 years.

We exchanged virginity (I gave her mine, and she offered hers) on our wedding night. Like you, I expected that being married would reduce my lust. Instead, almost the opposite happened: since I had finally experienced what sex was really like, I found myself even more curious about sex with other women.

But here's the distinction. While I was more interested in the physical experience of sex with other women, I was less attracted to them emotionally, as life-partners. It took several years before I could openly discuss this with my wife but she eventually understood and accepted it. Actually, she had a similar attraction to other guys, though not as strong as my attention to other women. It's not unusual for her to point out a woman who has some physical attribute that I'm attracted to, and on rare occasions she might even mention it during our foreplay time, but we both know that I have no interest in pursuing other women for a relationship.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

Nature. It's where your brain came from. It's where your penis cums from.

Even tho we're human and many of us seek commitment, it's perfectly natural to still find other people attractive and even have some naughty thoughts from time to time.

I myself find that it's happened less and less over time for me, but it still happens occasionally. I'm pretty sure he still sees women he can't help but appreciate and have a moment of lustiness for. I don't get upset by that fact, it's just... Nature

 

[Phil Ayesho]

y'know... you can teach a dog not to chase cars.

... but you can't ever get that look out of his eye when one drives by...

 

[Mike hung]

Just because you're married doesn't stop lust, myself and my wife enjoy the best of both worlds with an active swing lifestyle and other little sexual ventures. I'm not suggesting that you should do the same just pointing out that just because you're wed doesn't mean either of you should be embarrassed about having thoughts about someone else, hell imagine how boring life would be!

 

[Lee_M]

As everyone else has said, wedding rings aren't made of magic, they wont magically stop you being attracted to other people.
If that were the case, there would be no infidelity, swingers, threesomes or anything else along those lines.
It is YOU that has to keep you faithful, the ring cant do it for you.

 

[rayray]

Just because you wed, don't mean your dead .

 

[1101550]

The thoughts you have running through your mind can be all shades of dark, sinister and even immoral, but they do not define your character.

It is your conscience and the actions which follow those thoughts that do define who you are.

 

[hairynycstud]

Bro..being married...doesnt mean you stop being male...the instincts are still there..use that attraction to spice up the nights with your new wife man

 

[Itsmeandyou]

Sweetie even though you're on a diet doesn't keep you from looking at the menu. You just can't order though.

I've been married for a few years now, and I still look a cute guys and girls. I appreciate beauty in all forms.

I don't see ANY issue with this whatsoever. By the way, you can order all you want however, it may become insanely expensive. Just my opinion.

 

[Infernal]

Who cares where you get your appetite, as long as you eat at home.

 

[chesschess]

My Dad explained thoughts like that this way - You go over to a friend's house and see a dollar bill laying on the coffee table. No one is looking and you could easily take it and no one would be the wiser. The difference is whether you act on the thought, or whether you immediately dismiss the thought and put it out of your mind.

 

[lapdog2001]

As many others have already said, it's in our human nature to look at others we find attractive. That doesn't stop even if you are in a committed relationship.
You can look, but you better not touch!

 

[693987]

I'm monogamous, not dead. I still find people other than my partner attractive on occasion. Humans do not have to be mindless and ruled by instinct or desire, though a surprising amount of people on this site and elsewhere want to act otherwise. I don't magically not see individuals as attractive just because I love my sweetie and we are in a closed/monogamous relationship. I see plenty of things and a small amount of individuals that I want, but I don't go steal the items I don't have

 

[Alex22876]

I'm newly married and I love it. But I can't help but notice how I still check out women and find other women sexually attractive. I'm not posting here because I'm afraid I will cheat, because I have no desire to cheat. And I would not do that. But I guess I for some reason thought that the part of me that lusted over strangers would go away.

Any thoughts? Comments? Advice? I feel like it is normal to be attracted to people even while married but I guess I'm looking for insight?

Advice: continue being human. You can look at someone and be attracted without cat calling them, hitting on them, or even fantasizing about them (even though I don’t think the last one is a problem either).

You got married because (I hope) you like being with that person more than anyone else. If not, checking someone out is not the problem. It is a symptom of a greater problem.

You can check people out. Just don’t disrespect your partner while doing it.

 

[995633]

Thanks for all the replies. You all have been very helpful.

 

[1121609]

Your a human. There are attractive people everywhere...you can appreciate someone else's beauty even though you are happily married.

 

[palakaorion]

You can check people out. Just don’t disrespect your partner while doing it.

And...*your partner* gets to decide whether you're disrespecting them, not you.