Most nice guys finish first, although it may take some time. Now, some men are "nice," but also socially and romantically inept. They interpret rejection or indifference to their being "nice guys." So they need to learn to talk to woman and -- very important -- listen. They need to learn charm, wit, etc. Culture and sophistication are big with me. Some of my best lovers couldn't get dates in their teens and twenties. By their thirties, every woman wanted them.
Nice guys
- Thread starter B_tallbig
- Start date
listen, if it takes some time for you to finish first
somene else finished before you
ie you did not finish first
but I have to tell you
if you are nice, you will be treated secondary by women
most women
I admit youngish 20somethings are the ones I'm talking about
the 30+ ladies seem to appreciate when a man is really kind/nice
but there is this girl, she is so nice right
and she will SAY things about how nice I am plenty right?
so far so good
now ask me about the guy she is with
he has good qualities but just not the most thoughtful guy
and on top of that she takes me for granted more or less
but if I start to ignore her, she'll start to be nice to me to try to get my attention again
it's this stupid little yo-yo game
that I tell you I would not play it for anyone but her
but I really really like her
I think just being nice can be a bit pretentious and come across as false. You gotta stick up for what you know or believe in, and that will sometimes upset people. You can't please everyone at the same time especially if they have different view points. I don't know what women want, all sorts of things I suppose, but for me I like a emotionally strong woman, with a mind of their own and a body that wants to be ravished by me, to name a few.... so I think a combination of things.
- 36DD,
No! Don't ever become a jerk! Do you want a woman who can't see the nice guy in you? A woman who appreciates the nice guy is worth waiting for and she will be the one who waits around and takes the time to get to know you.
- 36DD,
I think maybe you are confused and think a nice guy is synonomous with "wimp"...it's not. A nice guy is just that...a nice decent guy who treats others as he would want to be treated...you know, considerate of others. A nice guy can and should speak his mind on things that are important to him...just so long as he can do it with respect for others. No, you definitely cannot please all people all the time and you shouldn't even try...at the end of the day, you can only be yourself and I think most "nice guys" know that.
I agree with your comment.
What is nice, should have been defined first.
I suppose I had a negative connotation to the word, as I understood it.
I've seen too many people get hurt by trying to much to please, by being nice(as I understood the word).
You're on the right path to hate women. Believe me, my man-hating girlfriends have their own tales of being yo-yo'd by men.
Twenty-something airheads are so limited. Why aim yourself so low, or at women who like being abused? Even the sexiest 'hood,' and I have had a few, have a very short half-life. And most men who aim for that behavior just end up being slimebags who are not sexy.
The best women like gentlemen. But the best gentlemen also know the many moves of sexiness, some of which mean being assertive at the right times. Complicated? Yes, and worth it.
I didn't aspire to fall for an airhead ok
if I could control who I felt strongly about believe me the list would be far shorter but it isn't up to me how I feel now is it
and don't give me any "you are on the right path to hate women" THEY are the ones acting like this
it's not like I'm setting out to hate them
er you
whatever
Sixofspades
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It's really not as hard as some of you guys make out. Just turn it right around and think about how you'd feel in her position. I for one would be put off by a woman who was very into me but had no spine or self-belief, one who acted meek, who always made herself available to me and was clingy, with no real life outside of me. That would be a major red flag, and I'd call her a friend, but nothing more. I would also run like the plague if she constantly praised herself, complaining of what a good person she was and going on endlessly about her plusses and achievements but how she is unable to attract a mate. If however, I met a strong woman who had opinions, was critical, was funny and sweet at the right times, had standards, humility, a good degree of self respect, and pursued what she wants in life with diligence, all while understanding the dynamics of space and respect, that'd be a totally different story.
I literally cringe when I read stories about guys who think assholes get all the women while they sit at home, cook for their kids, take care of their mothers, go to church on a sunday, and, wow, still can't find someone? How strange! All that does is make people uneasy and encourage their suspicions that you're covering your insecurities by throwing out blanket 'goodness'. Honestly, if I was a woman, I'd run for the hills if I heard that. If you want the best, be the best, but keep a good head on your shoulders - be strong, be yourself, and don't get into arrogance OR self-deprecation. You're a mirror - you have to show, not tell. Nobody's impressed by your car or your IQ. You don't need to know anything about women to realize this. Just need to place myself in her shoes and think about it properly. I don't go for that men are from mars, women are from venus crap. We're all basically the same.
I literally cringe when I read stories about guys who think assholes get all the women while they sit at home, cook for their kids, take care of their mothers, go to church on a sunday, and, wow, still can't find someone? How strange! All that does is make people uneasy and encourage their suspicions that you're covering your insecurities by throwing out blanket 'goodness'. Honestly, if I was a woman, I'd run for the hills if I heard that. If you want the best, be the best, but keep a good head on your shoulders - be strong, be yourself, and don't get into arrogance OR self-deprecation. You're a mirror - you have to show, not tell. Nobody's impressed by your car or your IQ. You don't need to know anything about women to realize this. Just need to place myself in her shoes and think about it properly. I don't go for that men are from mars, women are from venus crap. We're all basically the same.
- 36DD,
That was very well-said. Your example of the blanket goodness is often what I refer to as someone being "nice", which anyone can be...but it takes a special person to be kind and that quality is usually only present in the ones who have truly come to know themselves and respect themselves...the real nice guys...some of which are here at this site.
- 36DD,
I'd say move on...she is not interested in a genuinely kind man...she wants a wimp and is probably pretty controlling...unless that is your thing to be controlled by an insecure woman...I for one, would run...
There are rotten woman. Sometimes "nice guy" is just a blow-off, so move on. What's happening may say more about them than any real comment about you. I'm sure you are a nice man, and that's a good thing.
pronatalist
Sexy Member
"Nice guys finish last," is too much a blanket-observation/unproven-saying, to always be true.
I imagine that also, nice guys, sometimes may have the most shockingly big dicks, some nice guys have lots of money, etc.
I imagine that also, nice guys, sometimes may have the most shockingly big dicks, some nice guys have lots of money, etc.
rob_just_rob
Sexy Member
I think Gisella (post 19) and Linda Sue (post 21) hit the nail on the head. A lot of guys seem to call themselves "nice guys" when they really aren't. They've got low self esteem, or they're bitter, or they just don't know how to approach women (or conduct themselves in a job interview, or stand up for themselves, or whatever it is that they're failing at). Calling oneself a "nice guy" is a convenient way of absolving oneself of responsibility for one's own failings and blaming the world for them instead. And of course, for feeling sorry for oneself. ("But I'm a nice guy, and nothing good happens to me. Life is so unfair!")
And who wants to be a "nice guy", anyway? I'd rather be a witty guy, a fun guy, a sexy guy, a sophisticated, romantic, spontaneous guy. Or all of those. Who in the world describes themselves, or someone else, or some thing they're trying to sell, as "nice"? Nice is a bland, subjective, undescriptive word. It says nothing about the person being described.
Want to stop being a "nice guy"? The first step is to define yourself as something else, and to go out and live it.
And who wants to be a "nice guy", anyway? I'd rather be a witty guy, a fun guy, a sexy guy, a sophisticated, romantic, spontaneous guy. Or all of those. Who in the world describes themselves, or someone else, or some thing they're trying to sell, as "nice"? Nice is a bland, subjective, undescriptive word. It says nothing about the person being described.
Want to stop being a "nice guy"? The first step is to define yourself as something else, and to go out and live it.
Maybe "rotten" is the wrong word. But moments of pure kindness may not be enough. And if she is blowing you off as "nice," as in "a guy I am not interested in," then you can do better.
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