Ms Michelle Edwards
69 Cash Ave
Cambridge MA
14 December, 2008
Dearest Jonny:
I went to the door today and the postman delivered a partridge in a pear tree. What a thoroughly delightful gift. I couldn't have been more surprised.
With deepest love and affection,
Michelle
Ms. Michelle Edwards
69 Cash Ave
Cambridge, Ma
15 December 2008
Dearest Jonny:
Today the postman brought your very sweet gift. Just imagine, two turtle doves! I am delighted at your very thoughtful gift. They are just adorable.
All my love,
Michelle
Ms. Michelle Edwards
69 Cash Ave
Cambridge, Ma
16 December, 2008
Dear Jonny:
Oh! Aren't you the extravagant one! Now I really must protest. I don't deserve such generosity--three french hens. They are just darling, but I must insist---you have been too kind.
Love, Michelle.
17 December, 2008
Ms. Michelle Edwards
69 Cash Ave.
Cambridge, MA
Dear Jonny:
Today the postman delivered four calling birds. Now really, they're beautiful, but don't you think enough is enough? You're being too romantic.
Affectionately,
Michelle
18 December, 2008
Ms. Michelle Edwards
69 Cash Ave.
Cambridge, MA
Dearest Jonny:
What a surprise! Today the postman delivered five golden rings, one for every finger! You're just impossible, but I love it. Frankly, all those birds squawking were beginning to get on my nerves.
All my love, Michelle
19 December, 2008
Ms. Michelle Edwards
69 Cash Ave.
Cambridge, MA
Dear Jonny:
When I opened the door there were actually six geese a-laying on my front steps. So you're back to the birds again, huh? Those geese are huge! Where will I ever keep them? The neighbors are complaining and I can't sleep through the racket.
Please stop.
Cordially, Michelle
20 December, 2008
Jonny, What's with you and those fucking birds? Seven swans a-swimming. What kind of goddamned joke is this? There's bird shit all over the house and they never stop with the racket. I can't sleep at night and I'm a nervous wreck. It's not funny so stop with those fucking birds.
Sincerely,
Michele
Ms. Michell Edwards
69 Cash Ave
Cambridge MA
21 December, 2008
Ok, Buster:
I think I prefer the birds. What the hell am I going to do with eight maids a-milking? It's not enought with all those birds and eight maids a-milking, but they had to bring their Goddamned cows. There's shit all over the lawn and I can't move in my own house. Just lay off me, smartass.
Michelle
Ms. Michelle Edwards
69 Cash Ave
Cambridge
MA
22 December, 2008
Hey, Shithead:
What are you? Dome kind of sadist? Now there's nine pipers playing. And, christ, do they play! They've never stopped chasing those maids since they got here yesterday morning. The cows are getting upset and they're stepping all over those screeching birds. What am I going to do? The neighbors have started a petition to get me evicted.
You'll get yours,
Michelle
Ms. Michell Edwards
69 Cash Ave
Cambridge, Ma
23 December, 2008
You Rotten Prick:
Now there's ten ladies dancing. I don't know why I call those sluts ladies. They've been balling those pipers all night long. Now the cows can't sleep and they've got diarrhea. My living room is a river of shit. The Commissioner of Buildings has subpoenaed me to give cause why the building shouldn't be condemned.
I'm siccing the police on you.
One who means it.
Ms Michelle Edwards
69 Cash Ave
Cambridge, MA
24 December, 2008
Listen, Fuckhead:
What's with the eleven lords a-leapig on those maids and ladies? Some of those broads will never walk again. Those pipers ran through the maids and have been committing sodomy with the cows. All 23 of the birds are dead. They've been trampled to death in the orgy. I hope you're satisfied, you rotten, viscious swine.
Your sworn enemy,
Michelle
Law Offices
Badger, Bender and Cahole, Esq.
303 Knave Street
Boston, MA
26 December, 2008
Dear Sir:
THis is to acknowledge your latest gift of twelve fiddlers fiddling which you have seen fit to inflict upon out client, Ms. Michelle Edwards. The destruction, of course, was total. All correspondance should come to our attention. If you should attempt to reach Ms. Edwards at Promises Sanitarium the attendants have instructions to shoot you on sight. With this letter, please find attached a warrant for your arrest.
Cordially,
Badger, Bender and Cahole
Have a Very Merry Christmas, Y'all!
Love, Nick8
69 Cash Ave
Cambridge MA
14 December, 2008
Dearest Jonny:
I went to the door today and the postman delivered a partridge in a pear tree. What a thoroughly delightful gift. I couldn't have been more surprised.
With deepest love and affection,
Michelle
Ms. Michelle Edwards
69 Cash Ave
Cambridge, Ma
15 December 2008
Dearest Jonny:
Today the postman brought your very sweet gift. Just imagine, two turtle doves! I am delighted at your very thoughtful gift. They are just adorable.
All my love,
Michelle
Ms. Michelle Edwards
69 Cash Ave
Cambridge, Ma
16 December, 2008
Dear Jonny:
Oh! Aren't you the extravagant one! Now I really must protest. I don't deserve such generosity--three french hens. They are just darling, but I must insist---you have been too kind.
Love, Michelle.
17 December, 2008
Ms. Michelle Edwards
69 Cash Ave.
Cambridge, MA
Dear Jonny:
Today the postman delivered four calling birds. Now really, they're beautiful, but don't you think enough is enough? You're being too romantic.
Affectionately,
Michelle
18 December, 2008
Ms. Michelle Edwards
69 Cash Ave.
Cambridge, MA
Dearest Jonny:
What a surprise! Today the postman delivered five golden rings, one for every finger! You're just impossible, but I love it. Frankly, all those birds squawking were beginning to get on my nerves.
All my love, Michelle
19 December, 2008
Ms. Michelle Edwards
69 Cash Ave.
Cambridge, MA
Dear Jonny:
When I opened the door there were actually six geese a-laying on my front steps. So you're back to the birds again, huh? Those geese are huge! Where will I ever keep them? The neighbors are complaining and I can't sleep through the racket.
Please stop.
Cordially, Michelle
20 December, 2008
Jonny, What's with you and those fucking birds? Seven swans a-swimming. What kind of goddamned joke is this? There's bird shit all over the house and they never stop with the racket. I can't sleep at night and I'm a nervous wreck. It's not funny so stop with those fucking birds.
Sincerely,
Michele
Ms. Michell Edwards
69 Cash Ave
Cambridge MA
21 December, 2008
Ok, Buster:
I think I prefer the birds. What the hell am I going to do with eight maids a-milking? It's not enought with all those birds and eight maids a-milking, but they had to bring their Goddamned cows. There's shit all over the lawn and I can't move in my own house. Just lay off me, smartass.
Michelle
Ms. Michelle Edwards
69 Cash Ave
Cambridge
MA
22 December, 2008
Hey, Shithead:
What are you? Dome kind of sadist? Now there's nine pipers playing. And, christ, do they play! They've never stopped chasing those maids since they got here yesterday morning. The cows are getting upset and they're stepping all over those screeching birds. What am I going to do? The neighbors have started a petition to get me evicted.
You'll get yours,
Michelle
Ms. Michell Edwards
69 Cash Ave
Cambridge, Ma
23 December, 2008
You Rotten Prick:
Now there's ten ladies dancing. I don't know why I call those sluts ladies. They've been balling those pipers all night long. Now the cows can't sleep and they've got diarrhea. My living room is a river of shit. The Commissioner of Buildings has subpoenaed me to give cause why the building shouldn't be condemned.
I'm siccing the police on you.
One who means it.
Ms Michelle Edwards
69 Cash Ave
Cambridge, MA
24 December, 2008
Listen, Fuckhead:
What's with the eleven lords a-leapig on those maids and ladies? Some of those broads will never walk again. Those pipers ran through the maids and have been committing sodomy with the cows. All 23 of the birds are dead. They've been trampled to death in the orgy. I hope you're satisfied, you rotten, viscious swine.
Your sworn enemy,
Michelle
Law Offices
Badger, Bender and Cahole, Esq.
303 Knave Street
Boston, MA
26 December, 2008
Dear Sir:
THis is to acknowledge your latest gift of twelve fiddlers fiddling which you have seen fit to inflict upon out client, Ms. Michelle Edwards. The destruction, of course, was total. All correspondance should come to our attention. If you should attempt to reach Ms. Edwards at Promises Sanitarium the attendants have instructions to shoot you on sight. With this letter, please find attached a warrant for your arrest.
Cordially,
Badger, Bender and Cahole
Have a Very Merry Christmas, Y'all!
Love, Nick8
Last edited: