No affection from father.

Growing123

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My dad never held me. Now I long for closeness with males. It's more non sexual bonding that I need. Just hugging and kissing. This deficit has left a hole, an aching. It can hurt physically sometimes when I see a man that I desire emotionally or physically whom I cannot have. It feels like a rejection. I discuss it in therapy but my therapist just sympathizes. I even long to hug him but he is a married straight guy with grown kids.
 

halcyondays

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No - my parental units were very affectionate - but I can relate that many men I've dated have had the same experience as yours including a current lover. He's very close to his mother but his father was/is emotionally and physically distant and often absent.

You may be experiencing transference wihich is where you fall in love with your therapist even if it's as a father figure and not romantic or sexual. After all he is an older male who is finally listening to you. That's normal but remember as a professional he's getting paid to hear you out and help you. He cannot replace the adult male affection/connection you missed.

Have you told him you want to hug him and desire physical affection from him? Has he discussed any remedies for transference?
 
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curtain_swoosh

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my dad loved me, but tthere was a shift when he realised that i didnt share the same interests that he had. keep in mind that i was a child still ha.

i now have the same interests, but i dont feel the need to be talking about them with him.

not saying he stopped loving me, but it was very clear, since he would rather spend time with my cousin who was a slimey fker than his own son.

but i quickly accepted it and moved on from it.
 
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JD_002

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My dad was always absent as a kid (he's got his own set of issues) and while I was very bitter about it as a kid, I don't mind it now. There was a time when I craved male affection but seems to be mostly gone now, maybe cause I got what I needed.
 
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latinluva

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My Dad didn't have time, he was either at the bar or made us leave the house. He was a great Father, paid the bills, bought us what we needed, warm roof over my head and always had something to eat. I was always grateful to him for that. I grew up in the 70's, and things just happend to us that happend to a lot of kids....instead of letting it eat away at me, I embraced it and ran with it. Eventually I fell in love with the ideal of satisfying a man, kissing him and letting him hold me in his arms. Sex for me in the 80's and 90's was incredible. Unfortunately at that time AIDS and HIV had people scared. So I decided to become bisexual and play it safe..