Got a quick question here been dating this girl for almost a year, we are very serious. I have never gotten a blowjob from her. She said she doesnt like to do it. At first i was kind of okay with it cause the sex was amazing. Now even though the sex is still absolutley amazing all i really want it a Blow job. We fought about it in the beging of our relationship and i was a dick/insensitive about it now if i even mention i she gets really pissed. I mean i absolutley love her, i want to marry her but i dont want our sex life to get fucked up over this. I see it starting already. I always would do anything for her sexually now i dont give a fuck. I have not gone down on her for the past 2 weeks and will never do it again. I do not even want to do anything besides fuck her since she does nothing for me in regards to foreplay. Any ideas?
no blowjobs
- Thread starter whatsup2
- Start date
Principessa
Expert Member
Don't marry her.
It's not going to get any better unless you two talk this out. Ask her what she is afraid of. Maybe she has seen porn in which the woman gags, or maybe she hates the thought of swallowing semen; maybe the thought of a facial makes her queasy. I have a girl friend who won't give head because she refuses to put her mouth on something from which you pee. It could be anything and you will never know until you talk it out.
It's not going to get any better unless you two talk this out. Ask her what she is afraid of. Maybe she has seen porn in which the woman gags, or maybe she hates the thought of swallowing semen; maybe the thought of a facial makes her queasy. I have a girl friend who won't give head because she refuses to put her mouth on something from which you pee. It could be anything and you will never know until you talk it out.
Gillette
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Have you asked her why she doesn't like it?
She may not like the taste of sperm, but she doesn't have to bring you to orgasm that way. And if she does then you don't have to cum in her mouth.
I don't know how you've approached the subject in the past but if it's, "I want a blow job" your results are predictable. If you feel like her refusal is a rejection of you on some level, then that's what you need to discuss with her.
She may not like the taste of sperm, but she doesn't have to bring you to orgasm that way. And if she does then you don't have to cum in her mouth.
I don't know how you've approached the subject in the past but if it's, "I want a blow job" your results are predictable. If you feel like her refusal is a rejection of you on some level, then that's what you need to discuss with her.
Lordpendragon
Experimental Member
She has issues about sex clearly.
You should explore them sensitively and depending on how seious you are about her, you should try to resolve them over time.
I know what you mean though, I have known younger women who just clam up about their issues. Personally , if she won't address her issues, I would walk away. Sorry.
You should explore them sensitively and depending on how seious you are about her, you should try to resolve them over time.
I know what you mean though, I have known younger women who just clam up about their issues. Personally , if she won't address her issues, I would walk away. Sorry.
In my mind the pleasure of oral sex is almost all on the receiving end. But plenty of people like sucking dick. Do you want her to suck your dick once or suck it whenever you ask? This may be a basic incompatibility. Not everyone wants a big dick in their throat. I could nibble on foreskin all day, but deep throat bores me.
I love blow jobs so a bizzare concept to me.
But there is some reason she dosent like giving them, and id say it is more psychological then physical. All you can do is ask and hope she will tlell you or otherwwise ask if she wants to talk to a therapist about it.
Also i will say if you are already resenting her fro not pleasuring you then time will only make her fell more pressured and you more fusterated.. I would put off any plans of marriage until you are BBTOH happy with the situation
But there is some reason she dosent like giving them, and id say it is more psychological then physical. All you can do is ask and hope she will tlell you or otherwwise ask if she wants to talk to a therapist about it.
Also i will say if you are already resenting her fro not pleasuring you then time will only make her fell more pressured and you more fusterated.. I would put off any plans of marriage until you are BBTOH happy with the situation
DON'T MARRY HER.
Things will not get better once married.
She obviously has issues....... Ironic how when you went down on her you didn't mention in your post that she asked you to stop. Last time I took a piss it came from my vagina, so what is up with the attitude? She definitely has some issues, and like NJGT states, you need to clear up these issues or else you will resent the fact more.
I love giving head, it is at times even more intimate than having sex. I love everything about it, the smell, the feel, the texture etc. It's a shame she is so narrowed minded.
regards,
Deb
Things will not get better once married.
She obviously has issues....... Ironic how when you went down on her you didn't mention in your post that she asked you to stop. Last time I took a piss it came from my vagina, so what is up with the attitude? She definitely has some issues, and like NJGT states, you need to clear up these issues or else you will resent the fact more.
I love giving head, it is at times even more intimate than having sex. I love everything about it, the smell, the feel, the texture etc. It's a shame she is so narrowed minded.
regards,
Deb
dudepiston
Experimental Member
Why're we all coming down hard on this girl for not wanting to give this guy oral sex? I guess we're assuming his cock is awesome, smells great, is easy to lick & suck and his cum tastes like maple syrup from IHOP. My questions are more about YOU, my friend. Ever trimmed your pubes? Maybe consider shaving, not your ENTIRE region, but enough that she's not overwhelmed by a forest of feelings down there? What's your hygiene like? Maybe she just doesn't want to embarrass you. Make sure you are putting forth your "A" game with your body, cock and hygiene and THEN ask her. If she still isn't interested, it's time, wayyyy PAST time actually, to discuss why. But having said that, this should absolutely NOT be a deal breaker, if you're very compatible in other areas in your life. Are you each others' friend? Do you mutually support one another? Can you work effectively as a team, without fighting *too* often? Does the good outbalance the "bad"? There are things more important than sex *gasp*. I can't believe I typed that. But it's true. 
Right?
Right?
Don' force the issue mate, otherwise it will only force it further into the closet and never really resolve itself. As many have posted, something obviously bothers her greatly about it and until you both find out what the core problem is with actually giving head then there is little you can do about it short of hiring some dude or chick to suck it for you on the side. Maybe she's had a bad experience with someone forcing her on his cock while she was blowing without her concent, or maybe her first time in sex in general was not a pleasant experience at all regardless of her adversion to giving blowjobs to you in general. It can be many things linked to a small phobia, so the answer is not always clear cut or black or white.
- hung,
Dear WhatsUp2:
You state in your profile that you live in OZ. I do not know for sure where that is; but what I do know is that here in the United States there are more females than males. I say this to simply advise you to Move out and Move on with your life.
There are plenty of females out in the world that are available that you should have no problems obtaining/finding a new playmate. Should this new playmate prove comfortable with your sexuality and your desires and needs, I would encourage you to latch on to her quickly. In other words, "Once You Have Found Her, Never Let Her Go!!!" That sounds like a Song title or lyrics from a Song.
A great topic and a situation that so many find themselves in. Rather than trying to change someone, let them go and (I say again), Move Out and Move On!!!!!!
You state in your profile that you live in OZ. I do not know for sure where that is; but what I do know is that here in the United States there are more females than males. I say this to simply advise you to Move out and Move on with your life.
There are plenty of females out in the world that are available that you should have no problems obtaining/finding a new playmate. Should this new playmate prove comfortable with your sexuality and your desires and needs, I would encourage you to latch on to her quickly. In other words, "Once You Have Found Her, Never Let Her Go!!!" That sounds like a Song title or lyrics from a Song.
A great topic and a situation that so many find themselves in. Rather than trying to change someone, let them go and (I say again), Move Out and Move On!!!!!!
Regardless of her reasons, withholding oral from her out of spite is not the solution, nor is it the proper way to treat someone you say you love. Sure, she might change her mind someday. But if she might not. Do you love her enough to never get another blowjob again?
Well, if it's that big of an issue for you, then it's not looking good for your relationship. If it's that important to you and it's not something that she's willing to do, then it might be best to find someone else.
If getting sucked is that important to you, I fear your relationship is doomed. Some gals just dont want to suck cock. I love it when they do, but I'm not going to force my dick down anyone's throat when there are others around that will blow me.
My ex didn't go down either, but sex was the LAST reason we broke up. She loved my cock, just wasn't oral. I never even thought of depriving myself of the pleasures of going down on her just because she didnt blow me. And as for foreplay...after fondling and sucking her big breasts and tounguing her to orgasm, my cock was iron-hard and ready to penetrate her sweet tight pussy...
We even get together now and again and without the pressures of the failed marriage to worry about, the sex is explosive...
My ex didn't go down either, but sex was the LAST reason we broke up. She loved my cock, just wasn't oral. I never even thought of depriving myself of the pleasures of going down on her just because she didnt blow me. And as for foreplay...after fondling and sucking her big breasts and tounguing her to orgasm, my cock was iron-hard and ready to penetrate her sweet tight pussy...
We even get together now and again and without the pressures of the failed marriage to worry about, the sex is explosive...
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OPPinSLC
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You made my point. Getting them and giving them is two different things though.
I'm surprised and disappointed that after Whatsup2 mentioned that he "absolutely loves her and wants to marry her" that many of the 'solutions' offered to him suggested moving on and ending the relationship. If the sex is still "absolutely amazing" as you've stated, then surely you can open a dialogue about the issue and understand her reasons behind her choices. There times that my wife doesn't succumb to my every whim and fetish between the sheets, but I certainly don't consult the divorce lawyer everytime I don't get 100% of what I'm looking for sexually.
I guess you need to look at the 1000 things that you love about her that would make her marriage material and balance that out against the blowjob situation. Picture her without any of those good qualities, but sucking dick like a vacuum..... would you still want to marry her?
Good luck!
I guess you need to look at the 1000 things that you love about her that would make her marriage material and balance that out against the blowjob situation. Picture her without any of those good qualities, but sucking dick like a vacuum..... would you still want to marry her?
Good luck!
rob_just_rob
Sexy Member
Echoing what others have said... you need to talk to her in a nonsexual situation (i.e. not in bed), and ask her WHY she doesn't want to give you head. This may be something that can be fixed/compromised on.
If not, then you have to make a choice. And I'm confused - you went from
"i absolutley love her, i want to marry her " to
"I always would do anything for her sexually now i dont give a fuck. I have not gone down on her for the past 2 weeks and will never do it again. I do not even want to do anything besides fuck her since she does nothing for me in regards to foreplay."
in one line. You'd better figure out what your real feelings are.
If not, then you have to make a choice. And I'm confused - you went from
"i absolutley love her, i want to marry her " to
"I always would do anything for her sexually now i dont give a fuck. I have not gone down on her for the past 2 weeks and will never do it again. I do not even want to do anything besides fuck her since she does nothing for me in regards to foreplay."
in one line. You'd better figure out what your real feelings are.
Lordpendragon
Experimental Member
The advice to leave is based on the general issue of not dealing with issues, not just the specific case in point.
Would anyone, man or woman, really want to commit the rest of their life (supposedly) to someone who would not face their issues?
Not me for one.
Would anyone, man or woman, really want to commit the rest of their life (supposedly) to someone who would not face their issues?
Not me for one.
Why must everything be an "issue"? Maybe it just does nothing for her. In that case, it probably never will. Talking about it will just likely piss her off. It'd piss me off if I had to listen to constant droning about something I just wasn't interested in.
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