no one, the best gf I've ever had

[smith2267]

no one, the best girlfriend I ever had

no one meets me when I come home
no one kisses me any chance she gets
no one snuggles up with me at night on cold winter evenings
no one is an awesome gf!
She's mine, boys, and you can't have her!
But---I am a bad man! I cheat on no one!
so, girls, if you are looking for some action, hit me up
no one will never know

 

[Incocknito]

What a load of shit.

You just said you cheat on your girlfriend.

And aside from that, it was boring.

 

[smith2267]

What a load of shit.

You just said you cheat on your girlfriend.

And aside from that, it was boring.

wow, here I thought I had written a good one....I guess a person is never a good judge of his own work, eh?
I'm sort of clever with words, but everyone lays an egg once in awhile.

 

[SpoiledPrincess]

He was a bit harsh wasn't he, not a bad idea, but needs a bit of work.
It would read better if the lines were a more uniform length, and instead of the penultimate line starting 'so girls' it would work more successfully if you said 'so anyone' as a counterpoint to 'no one'.

 

[B_blessed boy]

ye i agree with princess. its goofd just needs work .